The Rude Guest

Our old neighbors, whom I used to consider very good friends, came to visit after we hadn't seen each other for two years.  After their visit, I can't say that I care to be friends anymore.  They were rude, overbearing, and completely unappreciative of our hospitality.  They complained about everything from the bed to the weather, expected us to adapt ourselves around their lifestyle and acted as if my husband and I were the rude ones when we put our foot down about certain issues (like their demand that we lock our pets up).  I even came home from work one day to find my furniture rearranged.  They have been gone for over a week and we haven't gotten so much as a thank you.  I know I didn't do well at hiding my frustration with them, which probably came across as rude to them.  Lot's of people have told me I should have invited them to find a hotel room, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it at the time.  How have other people dealt with rude house guests? 

Be glad you know how they truly are!  And be glad they are not related to you.  I had a nephew-in-law who overstayed every time he and his large family came to Florida.  Finally, my niece divorced him.  She was, and is, always welcome.  

As to how to deal with them?  Never ask them to visit again.  Don't call them.  If they call, be polite but have very short calls and be firm.  They do not deserve your friendship.  (Lock up your pets???? The nerve!  And rearranged your furniture?  Even my mother-in-law, a world class nosy, manipulator, did not do that.) 

There is rudeness and then there is wacked!  Rearranged the furniture????  That is BEYOND a bad house guest. 

I would send them a nice little note..."It was so lovely of you to rearrange the furnniture like that.  I never would have thought of that particular placement.  We finally got used to this unique arrangement and it hasn't bothered my borken leg at all to navigate the unfamiliar pathways.  The doctor says I should be on my feet in no time.  For now I am enjoying looking into the laundry room from the sofa.  Who knew it is so much more entertaining than the lovely view out the front window? " 

Well you get the idea.  lol

I haven't even begun to touch upon some of the weird and rude stuff this couple did.  My favorite part was when the wife emptied out her bags, filling up the trash can and she had the nerve to look at me and say, "You're gonna need to empty that, it's full."  I told her where the outside bin was and she just walked away. 

Littlejudy, how funny that you mentioned never to ask them to visit again.  They had mentioned that they would be back soon, before the end of summer, and I must admit that my over exaggerated "Oh " was obviously not one of joy.  I am truly glad they aren't related!

Madamq, I love the letter.  LMAO.  I moved the furniture back while they were here, she moved it again, and I moved it back again.  She didn't touch it after that.  Needless to say, by then things were pretty uncomfortable. 

The first time someone rearranged my furniture, I would have thought they were a little nuts. The second time after I put it back? "Is there a problem with my furniture? You don't like it? well then I guess it's a good thing it's mine and it's arranged this way in my house instead of yours."

Wow. That story beats all of mine : )

I had the friend you was given the 'stay as long as you want/need to'
She got a job within two weeks. 6 months later she had the same job, boyfriend, etc, but was still living on the couch in my studio apartment ($650 a month rent). When I asked her for her half of the rent that 6th month, she got mad at me for my poor hospitality, because I had TOLD her she could stay as long as she wanted. Luckily my lease was up a month later, so I was spared having to kick her out.

OMG!  What nerve to re-arrange your furniture not once, but twice!  Holy crap!  If they attempt to come again before the end of summer, definitely tell them about the great hotel down the road. 

There's an apt saying .... "after three days, fish and houseguests begin to smell."  Probably when you lived next door to each other they were just as rude and overbearing but fun in small doses.

The worst houseguest I ever had was as a newlywed and it was my ex-husband's alcoholic sister.  I expect you could all make up the rest of the story...   We'd removed all the alcohol from the house but she overcame that problem by shoplifting some scotch from the local supermarket.  And it sort of got worse from that point.  We simply told her to leave in the end.

Wow! The gall of some people never ceases to amaze me.

I am so glad to know that I am not the only one to have a bad houseguest story.  I do believe Ben Franklin had something right with that old adage about guest and fish.  Gi-jane, you hit the nail on the head when you said it was probably one thing when I only had to deal with them in small doses.  I don't know, perhaps they found me to be just as rude a host as I found her to be as a guest.  They definitely spent most of the time looking completely unhappy....

I have really good friends that I love dearly but I know for a fact that if we spent more than three or four days together we'd rub each other up the wrong way.   My own mother has an aversion to my cat ... so that part about locking pets up I can appreciate.  She also has a bad habit of 'tidying' my house as a ruse for hunting around in my cupboards.. LOL! 

Maybe a phone-call would be in order..?  Sounds like everyone's feeling rather embarrassed about the whole experience and maybe a conversation in the cold light of day would smooth things over a little...  If you apologised for losing your temper, they might concede that they were a little too demanding... who knows?   If they're good friends, it's worth a little humility.

Good friends would not have behaved the way your guests did. You do not need these people in your life. If they contact you when they're in the area again be polite but firm. If they hint at staying at your place, don't fall for it. Suggest good hotels in the area. If you're interested in having dinner with them just for old times sake, I'd say that would be about as far as you need to go.