Rude things guys do on dates

Get me straight, i'm not in anyway trying to bash the male population but i've been pissed off at my boyfriend lately. whenever we go on dates, he texts CONSTANTLY. like last night we were just sitting and having a lovely conversation and he broke off every few minutes to reply to whoever was texting him. now i'm not a jealous person so i could care less WHO he was texting, but its just the point of him texting while we're on a date you know.

also, he's always making fat jokes about me. seriously, i know i'm not a whale and it was funny, the first couple times. but its a non-stop thing, he thinks its funny but its triggering and i don't know how to explain to him that i'm trying to recover and he's not helping.

but my main issue is the phone thing, how do i ask him to stop without coming off as a b***h?

what things have guys done on dates that pissed you guys off?

i think if you approach him earnestly without anger or an accusatory tone, he would probably apologize.  most of the time, unless he's a straight up ass, when people do inconsiderate things, they are simply unaware of how it is affecting other people.  i'm a firm believer in nipping little gripes with a calm, compromising attitude before that all the little things escalate into grudge bearing fights.

maybe try calmly saying something along these lines.  " i know you care about me and are always doing things to make me happy.  i really appreciate that.  i just wanted you to know though, that i wish you would tone down the texting a bit when we're on a date.  i really value our time together, and i want to make the most of it."  telling him not to text at all sounds bossy and really it is kind of demanding/controlling.  compromise is good!  also, i hope you both are doing things on your dates that are equally engaging so that he wouldn't be easily distracted.

with the fat jokes...i told my SO straight up before we got intimate that i was sensitive about my body image and had past issues with it, so he's always been supportive and positive without me asking.  i would try bringing it up when you are not in an emotional state and just tell him flat out that you have issues about it and that it really hurts and brings up a lot baggage whenever he makes light of the subject.  every guy i know likes to avoid drama/hurt feelings/ moody topics so as long as you don't start crying and yelling, he shouldn't get defensive about it.  also be sure that you give him reassurance about his body and attractiveness.  men don't usually say much about it, but they can have just as much sensitivity about the subject and deserve positive reinforcement as well.  then you can always say "you know how good you feel when i make you feel sexy? well i could use some of that too!"

i believe when you give good things, they come back.  if they don't, well then your guy is a USER and you should move your efforts on to someone who will reciprocate.  just my opinion.

Dates?  What are those?

Don't mean to barge in on a young CC thread, but when I was in my young 20's there was no such thing.

Texting while having a meal is rude.  PERIOD.

Tell him so, he might not know.

Men are oblivious.  I'm sure if you mention offhand that it is rude, he will avoid it in the future.

I had an ex-bf that constantly took phone calls during meals.  I finally told him either the phone was staying in the car or he was.

Back up.

1. He texts CONSTANTLY while you're togther. I hate that, too, so much. Usually it's enough for me to excuse myself and LEAVE.

2. He's making FAT JOKES?

Get rid of this jerk. He doesn't treat you well now, he won't treat you well later. You're better off without him!

I'd rather train up a difficult dog than that guy. 

I've had a friend who constantly did the text thing too. Needless to say, she's not my friend anymore.

The guy I just started dating took me out for a meal, and he was texting a friend while we were at the table. I gave him such a look, he must have thought I was annoyed that it was a woman he was texting, but I explained to him later what bothered me.

My exact words were "your dating etiquette leaves something to be desired... you texted at the table and it was very rude"

Needless to say on date two, when he received a text, he said it wasn't important aww!

Date three, well he kept checking his phone for the footy scores... but I'm forgiving him that one because a)its a guy thing but he was trying to include me in it by showing me and wasn't too annoyed that I really didn't care and b)we weren't eating at the time =)

So just be straight up and honest bout whats bothering you. And if you can do it without sounding like your having a go, then all the better.

I'm sorry but your b/f sounds like a prat...either that or you really need to spell it out to him.  Next time he makes a 'fat joke' you could laugh so he doesn't think you're over sensitive but then say something like 'but seriously' and then tell him what's up.  This guy should respect you and the time you spend together.  Mention that answering the phone gives the impression he would rather be somewhere else.

Relationships are mostly about Honesty, Trust and Communication. You need to sit down with him and be honest. If your not how is he going to know he is doing wrong? You have to tell him so he has a chance to stop the behavior. If he keeps it up after you discuss it openly with him, well then it's your decision on what to do. If it were my own I would probably ditch him if I discussed it with him to no avail. That would show he has no intentions to make you at least a tad bit happy. Good Luck.

Guys can be clueless sometimes thats why we can't just leave hints, but spell it out to them.

One of my friends had a mild ED (still a problem but she never needed therapy or was severely underweight. Never lost her period or anything. She had an unhealthy relationship with food and didn't really know how to eat healthfully - she probably had over 1000 cals a day but she'd have it all at once. Mostly it was just a body issue problem) and was obviously thin. Every once in a while her boyfriend would make a sarcastic kind hearted joke that she was so fat and she needed to lose like 50 lbs. It was so obviously a joke and so well intended but I could tell depending on her state of mind she'd either get the joke and realize he would only say that because she was so thin or she'd get triggered. I was friends with the guy too so I eventually pulled him aside and just said, "you know sometimes that really gets to her...I know that you don't mean anything by it but just chill with the fat jokes" and he did. He was/is a good guy. Is it something similar with your bf? If so you could say something like that to him. If they're legitimate serious fat jokes...it's another situation entirely.

With the texting thing - I used to do that. Text on dates. I didn't really realize I was doing anything wrong. My boyfriend just straight up told me, when you text while we're together I feel like your mind's somewhere else. I stopped as soon as I realized it was rude.

Something rude I think a guy could do on a date is when you run into someone you know and he doesn't introduce you. Also, my cousin also used to introduce his girlfriends to us (his family) as his "friend". I always told my mom, if I was that girl or if some guy ever treats me like that, I'm going to dump his ass. She was proud of me :-P

Thanks a lot for your advice, i am going to talk to him about the texting.

and the fat jokes are all in a joking manner, that i understand. i guess i come off as laidback so the jokes won't bother me as much? -shrug- i dont know.

I had a bf of 2 years and we lived together....at the time I was 5'7" and weighed 115, which is a BMI of 18...I worked really hard at being fit and healthy, ate really clean, and went to the gym every day.

But on occasion I would splurge and eat icecream or something, or have so much homework I would skip a day at the gym...my bf ALWAYS had a comment about it though...

If I ate icecream he'd say something like, "welcome to the thousand calorie club."  Or when he asked daily if I went to the gym and I responded with "no, I had too much homework today" or something he'd say "Aims, you're getting really lazy about going to the gym..." or "remember how out of shape you used to be?" or "you know I can't have a girl on my arm that looks out of shape right?!"

Bottom line, any guy who makes comments about your weight, especially if he knows you're conscientious about it, is a jerk...a plain jerk!  You deserve to be showered with compliments and praised for your hard work!

missmontana, my dad's exactly like that. Every time he sees me eating junk food (which is VERY rare), he always comments about it - "I thought you were going to watch what you eat?" It's gotten to the point that rather than enjoying my occasional snack, I begin to feel guilty about anything I put in my mouth.

And likewise, despite the fact that I go to the gym three times a week (and exerise at home on the days in between) he always asks me if I went to the gym on the day I DIDN'T go, after which he needs to remind me that I should keep up my gym work. It's very annoying. I find it best to not let his discouraging remarks get to me. Can't break up with my dad...

Bicycles,

I'm so sorry!  That sounds awful...because it is your dad...like you said, you can't break up with him...as long as you're getting the results you're looking for and you know you're working your a** off to get where you're at and where you want to be, then that's all that matters!

Next time he does this, maybe you could just tell your dad that you've been working really, really hard and you've decided to let yourself have a treat every once in a while...I'd go crazy if I didn't give into my sweet tooth on occasion!  Maybe he'll be a little bit more understanding and sensitive to the issue if he knows it bothers you.

Honestly, I hate seeing ANYone on a cell phone while they're at a restaurant. Unless it's a one time thing, I simply disallow it. Both me and my fiance put our phones on vibrate when we're out to eat.

My date shot someone at a restaurant

Original Post by tomiltheharfordian:

My date shot someone at a restaurant

 With what?

gah.

while making out, going further (or try to) than previously agreed to go (physically).

it makes me lose trust in him like crazy.