Run On Story Game 2

Someone else started one, but I loved reading it - so here goes:  You tell a very small portion of a story (a sentence or two), and the next person comes up with the next part, etc. Make sure that the last sentence you write is not finished so the person below can finish it. It's a really fun game and the end result is a very very quirky and funny story!

Here goes:

I remember the day well, it began with sunshine and birdsongs and a gentle breeze reaching out to me from my bedroom window.  Who could have foreseen . . .

... that three hours later, I would be stuck on an elevator with a pounding headache, a 30 pound stack of files, and one of the most annoying co-workers imaginable... and also, with the guy of my dreams.
Yes, it was a lovely morning, but as the noon hour approached...

The skys morphed from lovely azure into a flannel grey reflecting my own darkening mood and the broiling cauldron heading in from the west seemed a personal omen for me as well as I had just been called into the bosses office.  He began with although you are the best employee I have, I have to speak with you about the office party.  There is no place for ............

... horse racing in the middle of the banquet room. The next time you get the urge to...

. . . gamble, I suggest you do it elsewhere!"  I started to protest as it was not I who had started the horse races.  But, to spill the beans on Dirk (my dream guy) would totally ruin any chances I might have had with him.  So, instead I . . .

Bet $100 on Running in Circles, and I won $5,000.  He was the long shot.  So, now,  my dilema is what to do with my new cash. Hmmm...where should I go?

I decided it was a good time to leave the party.  I strolled over to the local pizza parlor, where I was able to get a large pizza with the thickest crust imagineable and loaded with extra cheese and sausage.  Since I am an imaginary character, I was able to eat the entire pizza by myself without worrying about a single calorie.  Nice, huh?  I washed it down with a nice frosty glass of soda and followed it up with their famous slice of apple pie a la mode. MMM MMM good!

Dreaming of the apple pie, I had not really heard a word of what my boss was saying for the last few sentences.  Then "transfer" penetrated the a la mode and abruptly brought me to today.  "I am being transferred where and to do what", I gasped?  "As I said, you will leave tomorrow for.....

Hawaii, where you will be responsible for chosing all of our male swimsuit calendar models and dressing them for their photo shoot.  You will also be judging our massage therapists by getting a minimum of 2 all over body massages a day and then reporting on them.  You will have a different personal chef to cook for you each day, who you will also rate on their performance...any questions?

"Yes", I responded. "You're joking, right?" I asked, hardly being willing to believe it. "Yes" was the response. "Actually you'll be responsible for cleaning up the men's bathroom, but I figured if I get you all excited first, it wouldn't seem so bad." So I took my purse and whacked her over the head before

... running out of the office.  I told all of my co-workers that our boss had a bad drinking problem and must be drunk because she just passed out in front of me, hitting her head on the desk on the way down.  Everybody then...

...checked her pockets to see what kind of cash she carried.  Between all of them, each got to keep.....

75 cents, but it was just enough for each to get a soda from the machine in the break room, so everyone was pleased.  Now, I had a dilema...

because when whe came to, she would report me hitting her in the head.  So I decided to go back to her office and...

 put arsenic in her coke.  If she's dead, then her job could be mine and......

I wouldn't have to start cleaning toilets like she said.  Besides, she is really mean and thumps little kids on the heads and makes fun of old people.....

Decision made - she must die.  I was pretty sure we had some 'rat poison' in the employee breakroom .  I couldn't waste any time -- she could 'come to' at any moment.  I sprinted towards the breakroom at full speed ... but when I rounded the corner . . . 

I saw that she was begining to wake up so I had to RE-knock her out! I grabbed the closest thing near me... and I whacked her upside her head with a.........

picture of her husband in a wrought iron frame.  I'm glad she likes the heavy expensive frames!  It only took one strike to knock her back out.  So I....

decided while she's still down.... might as well kick her one more time!! AND SHIT why not fart in her face too AND.......

in walked Larry from accounting.  He has always had a crush on me.  Maybe he would not rat me out.  I would have to make up a really good story...