Are you the same way in person as you are online?

Does the internet give people a false sense of "bravado"? I have noticed people talk about certain subjects (i.e. race, politics, etc.) online in a manner that is different from even the liveliest face to face discussions.  Is it similar to the "liquid" courage that some drinkers display? Like when your relative/friend has had too much to drink and proceeds to tell you what they really think about you. 

I have heard that it's entertainment, stress relief, healthy debates, etc. but is it being fake?

Just thought I would give you night owls something to discuss as I am about to turn in...

I am pretty much the same in person as online. I even speak in run-on sentences, no, it's true, I speak really quickly and people who know me read my emails and laugh because they say they can hear me saying the words in their head as they read.

I'm actually a lot nicer online than I am in person. Lol. (partially because sarcasm just doesn't come through when you're typing)

And I stay on topic online (life needs a backspace button). In person I go off on random tangents that have very little to do with anything.

I think the tubes are more real and in person is more fake.  In person conversations are always colored by things like whether what you say will cause a scene or make the other person uncomfortable.  On the tubes we can say what we think without caring about the consequences.

Original Post by rindi:

 

And I stay on topic online (life needs a backspace button). In person I go off on random tangents that have very little to do with anything.

LOL Oh man, I do that so bad. I go off and tell weird pointless stories and then forget what the point of the story was... and not just to my friends, I'll do that when talking to total strangers.... lol.

Half of the time when I post something I end up deleting 3/4 of what I originally typed. Then I'll type a whole bunch of crap again, and delete it. Then I just end up posting one sentence.

I'm not as shy, but otherwise I'm pretty much the same once ya get to know me. =D

I'm pretty much the same person online. But when i was a teenager i was a nicer, sweeter person online. Probably i was trying to get the attention then. Nowadays I'm the same person offline online

I'm very different depending where you find me.

Normally I am very quiet in person ...until you say something that bothers me, and then, depending on how I'm feeling...I might enlighten you to a few things (in much the same way as online). I don't get angry, I don't get emotional, I simply explain why you are wrong (haha, and..people generally respond very well to it, because normally its happening in class and my teachers see it as a good challening attitude to have, other than school, i dont really interact with people) So, if you met me in real life, I would respond with a small smile and polite professional behavior with very little chit-chat (or completely ignore you if you weren't talking to me).

Online, I am typically very dfifferent also (this is the only place someone actually sees a picture of me) I generally am very very lighthearted / bubbly and playful online (and then people mistake me for being 12 or something, and female ...ugg), but it doesnt matter, because its just having fun and i move onto new things frequently. Its annoying to think so much all the time and evaluate people... so, in order to be able to actually interact with people, I find the best thing to do is keep everything as non-serious as possible and just take people for their face value of a few laughs and lighthearted fun.

But, as for false "bravado"... I dont think its about that. Its more about learning tact and the reality people just cant handle hearing some things (no matter how true they are). Professionally, there is very little room to be challening with differing opinions (the more unique the opinion, the more damaging it is). Other than some strange self satisfaction, there is no need to tell someone how you see them (if you think about it, you gain far more by simply being silent and using them however you need...once you have what your after, toss them aside and move on. Im speaking in a professional sense.).

I'm not sure anyone will admit to 'bravado' but I definitely read comments and HOPE people wouldn't say those things in real life : )

As for me, its a complex question. I type the exact same way I talk (in general). However, people perceive me much differently online than they do in person. As rindi mentioned, sarcasm just doesn't work the same.

So I've been mulling over this: Should I change what I say in the forums to alter other's perceptions so that they are accurate, or just keep typing like I talk and ignore those that get the wrong impression?

i'm basically the same in real life; i often say the things that others are thinking but no one else will say.  i read situations well and can usually gauge how candid i should be.  the only real exception is around religion: i don't out myself as an atheist until i know i'm in safe company, and when unknown others talk about it, i usually just keep my mouth shut.

i don't actually think that miscommunication is a big problem on the internet - or it's no bigger a problem on line that it is in person.  not everyone has a great grasp of language, verbal or written.  if people would just say what they mean instead of trying to generalize (ie: saying "you" when they mean "I") and be PC, we'd all know where we stand.

as for bravado - you'd have to meet me in the real world to judge, i guess.  i don't think my bravery is fake.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

as for bravado - you'd have to meet me in the real world to judge, i guess.  i don't think my bravery is fake.

 I mean this as a compliment, pgeorgian, but you definitely strike me as someone who says the exact same things in real life and are genuine about it. I admit to first thinking you might be 'mean,' but many posts later I think you're just blunt and honest and not overly concerned with everyone's reaction to it.

thanks, minda.  that's about right.  except that most of the time i'm genuinely surprised when people are offended :/

occasionally, though, i'm just mean.  blame spiro; she's my guru.

I'd say I'm pretty much the same person online as I am in person. If I don't agree with you, I'd tell you. I like talking about religion, politics, sex and ethics in real life as well as online. I've never understood the don't-talk-about-religion-or-politics thing. Are we afraid to have opinions? Can we not have a debate about these things? I grew up in a family where we had lively debates around the dinner table every night. If you didn't have an opinion, you wouldn't get many words in.

Of course, I don't let loose on someone when they're not expecting it; I am just happy to debate if my conversation partner is willing and I don't think I'm going to completely offend them. Here in Malaysia I've learnt I need tact a lot more than I did in New Zealand. It's a pity - I wish people here were more open to discussion and less likely to be embarrassed. Or if I could buy birth control without the male cashiers abandoning the till and the female cashiers blushing and giggling, I'd take that too.

I'm not sure about bravado or bravery but I am a strong person; this much I know.

I like talking about religion, politics, sex and ethics in real life as well as online. I've never understood the don't-talk-about-religion-or-politics thing. Are we afraid to have opinions? Can we not have a debate about these things?

I agree. I love nothing more than having a really good, lively, shouty, intelligent debate that you can really get your teeth into. I sometimes slightly water down what I'm saying, or rather, the language I use. I use more diplomatic wording when talking about my hate of religion around my muslim and catholic friends for example.

I talk about abortion carefully when around my friends who have kids, I mind my language when talking about sex when I'm around friends who are of a more delicate disposition than me! I say what I mean but I would temper my language.

I think I'm the same online as I am offline. I do agree it's easier to be friendly with people you don't know online rather than if you just met them, but that's maybe because we're all here for a common purpose? If I met one of you in real life I would not just come out and say "Hey, I'm trying to eat healthily and lose weight at the moment, are you?" If I did and you said yes then it might be different but I'm not going to do that!

Or if I could buy birth control without the male cashiers abandoning the till and the female cashiers blushing and giggling, I'd take that too.

LOL!! Do you feel as if you're 14 again?!

Original Post by misscherryjane:

Or if I could buy birth control without the male cashiers abandoning the till and the female cashiers blushing and giggling, I'd take that too.

LOL!! Do you feel as if you're 14 again?!

It's not even condoms, it's the pill on prescription. I got a 6 month prescription so they gave me a whole pile of boxes. Turns out unmarried Malaysians don't understand the one-a-day concept and think you take a pill every time... they don't get any sex ed here apart from "it's illegal before you're married." So I can understand why they thought it was funny (I'd probably laugh if sometime tried to buy the supermarket out of condoms)... but yes, did make me feel 14!

Original Post by merylwhite1:

Original Post by misscherryjane:

Or if I could buy birth control without the male cashiers abandoning the till and the female cashiers blushing and giggling, I'd take that too.

LOL!! Do you feel as if you're 14 again?!

It's not even condoms, it's the pill on prescription. I got a 6 month prescription so they gave me a whole pile of boxes. Turns out unmarried Malaysians don't understand the one-a-day concept and think you take a pill every time... they don't get any sex ed here apart from "it's illegal before you're married." So I can understand why they thought it was funny (I'd probably laugh if sometime tried to buy the supermarket out of condoms)... but yes, did make me feel 14!

AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!! They probably thought you were sme kind of sex crazed maniac!!

Original Post by misscherryjane:

Original Post by merylwhite1:

Original Post by misscherryjane:

Or if I could buy birth control without the male cashiers abandoning the till and the female cashiers blushing and giggling, I'd take that too.

LOL!! Do you feel as if you're 14 again?!

It's not even condoms, it's the pill on prescription. I got a 6 month prescription so they gave me a whole pile of boxes. Turns out unmarried Malaysians don't understand the one-a-day concept and think you take a pill every time... they don't get any sex ed here apart from "it's illegal before you're married." So I can understand why they thought it was funny (I'd probably laugh if sometime tried to buy the supermarket out of condoms)... but yes, did make me feel 14!

AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!! They probably thought you were sme kind of sex crazed maniac!!

 

I know! I wasn't embarrassed before they all start giggling, but after I realised what they were thinking I was! I took my pharmacy bag and scuttled off.

hmm. honestly? speaking for myself - yes. i've always been a writer, and much better/more prone to "speak up" when writing how i feel and what i think than speaking it.  on the flip side, though, i've sent some letters/emails, etc. that i have said some things in, re-read them after sending them, and felt like kicking myself for having the balls/gall to write something like that.  so it works for me much like a double-edged sword.

IRL, i'm much more self-conscious, and much more shy.  although i do speak up occasionally, i don't like having the focus of attention on myself when speaking, and when i would have to give presentations in front of the class in HS and undergrad, would literally break out in hives, voice shaking, hands shaking, the whole bit.  having the internet as at least one outlet that i can almost "throw caution to the wind" in a way, and not worry about turning scarlet red in the face when i'm talking, just because i don't like the attention, is kind of nice. 

and, like others have mentioned, i tend to go off on waaay random tangents when talking and randomly link two stories together - which leaves whoever i'm talking to me wide-eyed and shaking their head, oblivious as to how i got to what i'm talking about now. lol - yea that backspace button on life would be nice

*scrolls back up through her long-winded answer*  see what i mean!

yep

I am quiet and rarely say anything here..irl, I always have something to say.  I am opinionated, sarcastic, and will debate pretty much anything.  I'm not sure why I am not like that online.

mostly yes. I'm less shy online because if I need to escape I can just close the window, but how you see me is how I am with my closer friends.

and if anything, I'm MORE opinionated in person and hold back online about touchy subjects.