Same Weight as Boyfriend

CRISIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  I recently recovered from some strange throat ailment and then kindly passed it on to my boyfriend.  While sick, I gained 1 kilo.  He has lost 3.5 kilos.  We are now the same weight!!  Even though he is taller and more muscular!  Words cannot express the sense of injustice and fury I feel right now.  I have 7 kilos left to lose until my goal weight and I want them off, now, now, now!

  For some reason, weighing more than my partner is a thousand times worse than weighing more than my sister, mother or best friend.  Does anyone else feel this way? How can I stop comparing myself to someone I live with, who eats like a sumo wrestler but never gains a single pound?

To my shame, I have tried stuffing him full of cake and chocolate while I restrict myself to carrot sticks, but to no avail.  His metabolism is magic.  How can I make my metabolism like his, so that I, too, can inhale entire roasted animals and sacks of white rice without retribution?

Haha you're trying to fatten him up. I love it.

I have been there, it's no big thing. My husband used to be Mr. Skinny as a rail without muscle so yeah, we weighed about the same. It used to freak me out, too.

I feel your pain - my boyfriend (who I now live with) and my two male housemates (who I lived with before) all have these skinny men metabolisms. I'm too short to weigh the same as these very tall people, but it was always the waist size that got me. My friend Tom has the same waist size as me, despite being over a foot taller and my boyfriend is only a inch or two bigger than me round the waist. I hate it, even if it means I can steal their clothes.

We're just culturally conditioned to expect women to be smaller, daintier etc. It's not a great attitude to have, but I can't shake it.

I don't think I'll ever make my metabolism like theirs are, but they do have one very useful function... If you have treated yourself to something and don't wish to eat it all (a birthday cake, a packet of biscuits, big slab of cheese etc) leave it on the side with a note saying 'please eat.' Gone by morning, every time.

Hey anna-anna,

Yeah, when I met him, he weighed about 60 and I weighed around 75 (having come down from 83) and I quickly lost weight from being with him.  Having a new boyfriend helped relieve some of the emotional triggers that were encouraging me to eat, so I lost weight from that.  More so, every time I opened the fridge to eat something, it was already gone.   Now I'm down to around 64 and he's up to the same. 

It's not that I am extremely overweight (at least, not compared to before), but I'm surrounded by thin people.  No joke, the average weight for women my height here is about 50 kilos.  And they're all on diets.  It's hard to feel good about your weight when the person prancing in front of you has a waist the size of your forearm.  And then you pass them and realize they're a man.  With nice hair.

 

Ha ha, I do the same thing.  My boyfriend is only 5'8, but he is malaysian so he has a small frame and skinny legs.  He likes to drink with his friend so he has developped a beer gut of sorts over the summer - especially after we stopped training for the marathon.  He can eat like a sumo, but only if he works out - if he doesn't workout then he gains - this makes me secretly happy lol.  Whenever we are at dinner with my parents I always give him left overs, my mother calls him the garbage can - he'll eat anything.  When we ran the marathon, we were both the same weight!!!!  I was at a good weight for myself and he just lost a bunch through the training.  Sometimes it bothers me, but for the most part, I can beat him at anything athletic so I'm OK with it. 

Oh, I hear where you are coming from. Especially when I was well over 200lbs, I would almost intentionally date men at least TALLER than me, and hope they weighed more - but the truth is, it really doesn't matter. It's just numbers, when you come down to it.

My current boyfriend, my darling, he and I are exactly the same height - 5'6". (Let's here it for short men! Whoot!) Aaaannyway, he was the typical guy who ate whatever he wanted - until he reached a certain age. So when I met him, he was this relatively slim 36 yr old guy with a ridiculously big tummy! He gained it all in one place! He's lost about 15lbs in the past few months (and I am very proud of him, though he didn't have to work very hard for it gggrrr) and he hovers in the mid-170s, and I hover in the low 170s/high 160s. We have set a SHARED goal of reaching 150 by 2008! (Then I assess if I want to do another 10lbs or not). I have no problem knowing that he and I might weigh exactly the same, because I know I am going to look HOT 20lbs from now (and so will my guy, hehehheehe).

In the long run, it really doesn't matter, as I said. My parents have been married for 35 years, and my dad has always been a toothpick, my mom, ranging from curvy to plump. I don't think she EVER weighed less than he did, and it still worked out alright. :-)

Lol I weighed the same (or more ) than my bf for a long time! Not anymore though! Muahaha! It didn't bother me at first because he always told me I was beautiful, but I started being more conscious of it as I started to want to lose weight. Then it would realllly bother me, alot. I would wonder what people were thinking when they saw us together and feel ashamed (there's that old conception that the woman should be "dainty" as Anna was talking about). He still always told me I'm beautiful though, and motivated me to lose the weight (not for him, he already thought I was beautiful, but because I wanted to feel that beautiful for myself too). He has the super fast "man" metabolism too...and he isn't even that tall! But he can eat at least 2 boxes of crackers a day (on top of everything else he eats - and those things are fattening! Chips in a box marketed as healthy! Evil!) and not gain a pound. It was realllly hard at first to try and diet with him around, but I just started to use it to my advantage. Every time there was something I shouldn't eat, I just shoveled it onto his plate lol. Works every time, its like having your own personal hoover!

Hey Kate,

Yes, my boyfriend is Japanese and about 5'8 too.  He was developing a satisfactory beer gut (as an Aussie, I like my men to have a bit of padding) but now it's all gone.

As for beating him at anything athletic, not likely.  He regularly does martial arts and loses heaps of weight through that.  The only 'sport' I can beat him at is drinking alcohol.  Does that count?

Hey trxr4kids,

It's great that your bf is so supportive!  And a hoover!  Mine use to make derisive comments about overweight women we saw on the street (though not about me, he's not suicidal).  I've gotten him over this, but his opinion does reflect the common outlook of the people here.  Even when I feel good about my weight, I know that people looking at me see me as an elephant in shoes.  I'm trying to only let my own opinion matter, but actually, for my health, I do need to lose weight.  Fattening up my bf like a turkey before Xmas won't change this.

My husband has always weighed less than me, even though when I gained he did.  It can be really irritating.  Especially since he decided to join me in my healthier lifestyle (after I already lost 35 lbs.).  Now I am down 70 and he is down 35.  I have a lot more work to do and he only has 5 lbs to go!  I think he looks great and try to encourage him, but am secretly annoyed that he will reach his goal before me and is smaller than me!

omg pudding you are too funny.

If it makes you feel any better, my husband is a string bean.  And despite always being on the plump side, I've always been attracted to tall, super skinny men, much to my own chagrin.  I was at a fairly normal weight (for me) when I met my hubby, and I was still a good 20 lbs heavier than he was.  He's real excited because he has gained 10 lbs in the 6 years we've been together (um I've gained like 75).  Makes me sick.  It's cute though, he's busting out of his shorts with his beer belly now (although it's not cute that said beer belly has covered up his once terribly hot 6-pack).  But he's still got bean poles for legs.  My thighs will never be as small as his, and his calf's are about as big as my wrist.

I know exactly how you feel! When I first started dating my boyfriend I was at my highest pt- about 150 lbs- he was 145 lbs. I hated it! For some reason I thought that because I was the woman I should be smaller. He has told me i'm beautiful from the very beginning so I really just lost the weight for myself. I know I didn't need to be smaller than him though for him to love me. But now i'm happy with myself the way I am!

I can also sympathize with dating "mini-man" (as I affectionately call him). I'm 5'10" and 150 lbs and he's 5'7" and like 135lbs WET. Bugs the crap outta me sometimes to be honest. He's unfortunately not a hoover either (I have to shovel food down his throat so he doesn't LOSE weight... so absentminded he forgets to eat). Normally I eat well with him... and end up binging when he's gone :(

That's nothing. I'm 6'1", 290lbs and my boyfriernd is 5'3", 140lbs. Think about how I feel. I'm twice the size he is, in height AND weight.

If your husband/boyfriend is not American born (I imported an Australian); send him to the midwest for a year. Their mere presence in the US adds 20 lbs. We have magical powers here!

Don't feel bad I'm right there about the same height as my husband.  The other week we weighted ourselves and we were the extact same. I felt mortified.  I was like omg I am 5'6 and he is 6'0 how do I weight the same as him.  I think that is what jump started my road to weight lose

Well, I can certainly relate.  I'm 5'3", 197 lbs and my husband is 5'7", 150 lbs.  He also forgets to eat sometimes so I have to remind him or actually make it for him so that he doesn't lose weight.  Additionally, I have to do all the cooking these days cuz he doesn't even understand the concept of what's healthy and what's not.  According to him, deep-frying should be okay because "the oil just drips off, right?" lol 

He loves me for me and constantly says that I'm beautiful and encourages me in my new attitude, but being bigger than him is part of the reason why I've decided that its time to lose the weight.  I'm afraid that I'm going to break him in half!!!  I feel restricted and self consious in the bedroom because of my weight and I hate it.  (Yes, I know... there's all those good, healthy reasons too...blah, blah, blah)  I want to be able to have a few more positions available to us and not fear that I'm going to kill him. lol

I never weighted more than my bf only because I'm a short short and he's a tall guy with muscular build. For some reason, he eats healthy food and fatty/greasy/heart-attack food. And he has such a low body fat that he has 6 packs!!

I sure have a 6 packs too. Buried under inches of thick flesh :P  And yes, he's practically a garbage can. If we go to a restaurant with a bunch of friends, he'll not only finish his gigantic meal but finish every littel things that people couldn't finish. Yet he stays muscular and fit, slim and slender. It's not like he even exercise. Where does he get his metabolism from?? Grr. At the same time, he sweats a LOT and very easily so that might have something to do with it..

-Lemon Jealous Jello

Oh trust me, I feel your pain. In June I weighed about 111 lbs more than he did. Now it's only about 74. I'm working my way down slowly but surely. My goal is honestly to be able to fit into his pants some day (He's a size 32 which I believe is a size 12 in US womens... someone correct me if I'm wrong).

He also eats whatever he wants WHENEVER he wants. Drives me nuts. Thank god I actually like carrot sticks. =)

4 years ago, Hubby was 20 some odd pounds less than he is now, but still blessed with his wonderful metabolism.  I am not sure if its all metabolism or the fact that he lifts heavy objects for 8 hours a day while I get to sit on my fat heiny....hmmmm

Relax Puddingchan, this is the male / female metabolism difference for you. If my boyfriend who is lighter than me as It is would give up his pop (soda whatever) addiction he'd be dropping weight like there is no tomorrow. We're in a weight loss challenge together weighing in on September 19. So we'll see.

Don't fret over It and keep doing what you're doing those carrot sticks aren't that bad, in fact I could eat baby carrots all day long!