my scale and my ed

so i've been trying hard to eat healthy, exercise, drink plenty of water, take my vitamins, get enough sleep and all that stuff. i'm trying to live healthy.

but...
i used to restrict (meaning i would eat a few hundred calories and bike everywhere all day long) but over a year or so have gotten myself to do things i never thought i could like eat fat again, gain weight and eat at least/over 1300 calories every day.

but i can't help but weigh myself just about everyday and especially after big meals and see how much i weigh. and it's very scary (though i try to reassure myself) if the number is larger than i thought it would be. and i have to admit i am happy when it's lower than i thought it was/it should be.

the question is, should i get rid of my scale?

it's a scary thought for me. i like knowing how much i weigh. it's a security thing, i think. at the same time i know that i shouldn't care about how much i weigh and that if i want to be normal i have to learn to not see things in term of the number of pounds or the number of calories or grams of fat and so forth.

not saying that i should just be oblivious but i don't want my weight to determine my self worth. though i guess i feel like that day will never ever come. be it with or without a scale to measure it. in a weird way i feel i have an internal scale and it always reads 'you're fat'.

does this ever get any easier? am i just not there yet or will i never be there and always have these thoughts but have to fight them as hard as i can...everyday?

i guess i kind of got off topic. haha.

bottom line is since my problem doesn't stem from the scale but just uses the scale as a tool is it that beneficial to get rid of the scale? or am i giving the scale too much power and should i learn to use it without giving it total control?

opinions? especially from other ed sufferers or people that have recovered.

hey,

you know, i think after my experiences with food and weight issues, one of the most important things i'm learning is that balance and moderation is the key. to everything.

the scale can be a helpful tool in your recovery, and it sounds as though you are aware of how important it is to get better (since you have started eating more etc), but there is a fine line between using it as a tool to monitor your health and using it to facilitate obsessive patterns/behaviors.

i used to weigh myself every day, almost every hour. now i make sure i only weigh myself every sunday at the gym. it's good to weigh yourself once a week to monitor gains/losses before they get out of hand, but if you're weighing yourself too often, those changes are likely due to water weight, a full stomach, bloating, any number of things. any gain or loss under five pounds shouldn't be something you worry about since it could be as simple as water weight and is likely a temporary fluctuation.

that being said, if you find that you have a hard time limiting your use of the scale, and that it really stresses you out and hinders your recovery, then i suggest putting it away altogether (for now.) if you're going from starvation to eating a somewhat normal diet, your body is going to go through huge changes, physically and psychologically. you have to give your body time to adjust and level out, and try not to freak out at every fluctuation.

i hope this was helpful? i know it can be very hard, but just try to trust yourself and i ASSURE you, if you're only eating 1300 calories every day, you are NOT fat or going to get fat, that would be literally impossible. so good luck. =]

If it's a true trigger to you, throw it out. Either learn to laugh at the digits and give them the finger or dispose of it altogether. The number that comes up on that screen doesn't make you who you are.

You know, I have this same issue.


I challenge myself to go a week without weighing myself, but I get so curious.  I can't just step into uncharted waters.  It's the only thing I have that lets me know what's up, or at least gives me an idea.

I've weighed myself weekly since I was 12, but during the peak of my ED it was maybe 10 (yeah) times a day.

I think you should throw it out, even though that's sort of hypocritcal coming from me.

If I've noticed anything, it's that I love my life so much more when I'm not using the scale, when I'm not counting calories.  I've been able to go 5 days like that, but for some reason I always break.

It's so liberating.  Just throw away the damn thing.

Get rid of the scale or have someone hide it. You would be best just getting weighed at the doctors. It would be less triggering and tempting.

thats great to hear of youre progress so far, but, are you still eating only around 1300?

Original Post by agruskin:

thats great to hear of youre progress so far, but, are you still eating only around 1300?

no. that is minimum amount i don't let myself eat under not my goal. i usually eat from 1400-1600 on normal days. i could go under or over that but not usually and i never let myself go under 1300.