Scared of gaining too much..

  I'm new to this site and I wanted to join because everyone here seems so supportive and nice:) Okay, well i'm a 16 year old girl and just 4 months ago when I was 5'5 1/2, 122lbs, I thought I needed to loose weight. I quickly became obsessed with calories, then carb grams, sugar grams, etc. I went on a calorie restrictment diet where I was only eating 700-900 calories a day, with very little fat and other things I needed. I was scared to death of foods like peanut butter, and especially olive oil which i was always worrying if my parents were cooking with or not. So now I'm about 104-107lbs.

I used to read things about anorexia before all this, and how it's about control. And i could never understand that, but now i really can. My life has changed a lot and i just don't feel like i can control anything other than food. I realized just how bad it got for me when i ordered a caesar salad at the mall food court- completely forgetting a caesar salad is when they soak the lettuce in fattening dressing-, and litterally almost cried when i was expected to eat it.

I realize now that is no way to live. So two months ago i upped my calorie intake to 1200-1300 a day, because i read thats the minimum you need, so I ate like that for a month, finding it hard to reach that amount. Then i read a teenage girl needs a minimum of 2200 calories a day! For someone like me, that seemed nearly impossible to reach. But just recently, i've been slowly upping my intake, to 1400, 1600, 1800, and today i've had 2000. I want to become healthy and not "diet" anymore. I wish I didn't have to count calories, but I just can't stop. My parents made me see a doctor a couple of days ago because they've begun to catch on, and according to him, i'm 20 pounds underweight. To tell you the truth, the thought of gaining 20 pounds really scares me, because i've never even been 127lbs to begin with. I told him i thought that was unnessecary, and that I know of some people my age and height who are healthy and nowhere near that either. I'm supposed to see a nutritionist sometime, but for now i'm on my own. I think i could stand to gain 5-8 pounds, but i'm terrified that i'm going to gain and gain, and never stop. I just don't know what i would do, that's something i could never handle.

What i really want to know is what you think of my situation. And do you think if I continue to take in 1800-2000 cals a day, would I gain, maintain, go hypermetabolic? Like today, i tried eating a snack in between each meal, but after the snack i had after lunch, i got hunger pains just 10 minutes after eating! So i ate a little cereal and a special K bar with some PB and cottage cheese. Why is that? I felt like i almost binged because my stomach felt so full. I've also noticed heart palpitations a few weeks ago, and haven't had a period in maybe 3 months. I don't know if i am classified as anorexic, and this has only been going on for 2-4 months. (The first two being the worst). My sleep has gotten all screwed up too, i wake at 2am and can't fall back asleep until 5 or 6am. I hate every part of this and i just want to be healthy, maybe around 115 pounds, (i'm scared of anything more for now). I also eat really healthy, like oatmeal, whole wheat bread, tons on fruits and vegetables, yogurt, lean meat, even all natural PB and almond butter. Thanks if you read all this!

So what do you think, especially about what foods i should eat, and calories to take in?

When you starve yourself your body rather 'shuts down'.  It's an old cave-man survival technique to cope with famine.... the body tries to conserve energy stores.  After a while, you stop feeling hungry.   When you reintroduce more normal amounts of food your body realises that the famine is over and starts burning energy at a more normal rate.  So you feel hungry again, you eat to replace the lost energy, self-preservation kicks in and your body urges you to eat plenty in order to recover, waking up in the night to top up.....  That's what's happening to you now.

2000-2200 cals a day would not mean you gain weight.  You may gain some short-term until your metabolism catches up but not long term.  If you're 20lbs underweight (and please listen to your doctor rather than going by 'other people' the same age as you or some target of 115lbs) then you need to add 500 cals to that figure.  When you reach a healthy weight and your periods return, then you can deduct the 500 cals and maintain your weight.  127lbs is a very slim figure on someone 5'5".

Choose good, wholesome foods about 80-90% of the time.... meat, fish, wholegrains, fruit and veg, oils, dairy products etc.... and enjoy a few cakes and ice-cream with the other 10 - 20%.  Eat regularly so that you get energy in a steady stream.  Get plenty of variety rather than trying to eat the same things all the time.  Avoid eating 'diet' foods and low fat foods as they won't allow you to get the right calories.

As you eat better and as you gain weight you'll feel less anxious and depressed because your body and brain will be better nourished.  Your family sound extremely sensible and supportive so make the most of that aspect.  And find other things in your life to feel good about and give you confidence.  Then you'll be best placed for a healthy future where your happiness and self-worth doesn't depend on the number on some bathroom scales.

Hey

I am 5 ‘ 4 ½ and about 111 - 113 lbs and I have had to gain weight after anorexia years ago

The best thing you can do is use common sense - you should try to reach a BMI of at least 19 - 20 before you consider maintaining the weight

A lot of professionals recommend that you gain a little PAST a BMI of 20 as reassurance against a relapse and for extra compensation for your body after the famine it has been through

Take things one step at a time, to gain you would need 2500 - 4000 calories a day depending how active you are. Start on 2500 and give it a week or 2, and if you do not gain then eat 3000 calories, and see if you gain on that. If not, keep increasing in 500’s until you do gain

You cannot control how fast you gain weight and when you will stop, your body s too complicated to be able to totally control!

The only thing you CAN control is how sensibly you gain weight, the better your approach the more likely it is that you will gain the weight in a slower and steadier way!

If you go from eating 2000 calories to eating 4000 calories over night, then it is more likely that you will gain weight faster! If you increase your calories gradually, in the way I mentioned, then your body has time to adapt to the change and it is more likely that you will gain in a slower, more ideal way!

Either way, there is no MAGIC number that you need to reach to be “ healthy” so 127 is a good goal, but that does not mean that 120 lbs is not good enough - just use common sense and work towards being healthy instead of thinking about numbers

However, DON’T try to JUST gain to the MINUMUM BMI! A BMI of 20 is desirable, after that see how you feel, and if your period does not come back after 6 months or so then consider gaining a little more. Just see how things go

I know my BMI is JUST on the lowest side of healthy ( 18.5 - 19) BUT when I FIRST gained the weight after anorexia I gained to 125, but once I stopped trying to gain and started eating normally again my weight fell back to my natural slim weight.

I did not think about numbers, I just tried to gain and once I stopped gaining I just let my weight sort itself out naturally.

Something else I wanted to know was how am I supposed to know when to feed myself? I try to have a snack in between each meal, but sometimes i'm not hungry. But i just eat something anyway. Or, right after i have a snack or meal (and usually in the afternoons), i suddenly become really hungry even though i just ate! I don't know if this is because my body actually needs food, or if it's just trying to store food for another possible starvation. Should I have scheduled eating times or just eat when i'm hungry and stop when full?

And another thing, my doctor recommended getting a blood test done. I'm just wondering what a blood test can determine because i'm not clear on that. Can it determine your metabolic rate?

Thanks.

A blood test won't tell you what your metabolic rate is. Depending on what the doctor is investigating, they can look at many things - nutrient deficiencies, hormone levels, white blood cell count etc. My doctor made me do a full blood count when she first diagnosed me and then another one last week to see if there have been any improvements in my hormone levels and white blood cell count because both were very low. The doctor will use it to see what damage the restriction may have done to the inside of your body because, sadly, a lot of the awful damage restriction does can't be seen. But when they know, they can start to put it right! Good luck :)

How does anyone know when to feed themselves?  Answer... we have regular mealtimes (breakfast, lunch, supper) and then we have snacks in between if we're hungry.  When you need to gain weight you will, by definition, be eating a lot of the time when you're not all that hungry.  People who need to lose weight have to do the reverse... ignore the hunger-pangs from time to time and stick it out.  Neither is natural but it's necessary.

Plan your day out well so that you know, in advance, what you're going to eat, when you're going to eat it and whether it hits your 2500 cals that you need.  The CC food log is a good planning tool as well as being a way to record things in arrears.... if you map out your food in advance for the day and it comes up short then you have chance to add more in.

If you plan your meals and snacks and then you still feel hungry on top... you need food.   Your body isn't storing food for another starvation it's trying to recover from the current one...  You're in a position where there's no such thing as 'too much food' so you can be quite relaxed and go with the flow.

The blood test will be to check for medical problems but do talk to your doctor about the specifics.

 

I can relate to you so much it's kind of scary...

I don't want to scare you, because every single person is different, but I DO want to try to prepare you if I can in any way.

Currently, I am 5'7" and weigh 92 lbs. About two years ago, I was about 130 and wanted to take off a little "baby fat" by eating healthily. This continued and continued, and before I knew it, I was OBSESSED with food, weight, calories, the works. It is UNBELEIVABLE how quickly you can get sucked into it, and how far it can take you. To this very day, I am uncovering a new way this all has affected my life and ways it has manifested itself.

At one point, I was consuming probably only 400-500 calories a day and got down to about 80 lbs. I have been fighting with all I am worth to gain weight and get my life back since then. Currently, I'm trying to gain 2+ lbs. a week (it's a lot-and it's scary) and have to take in 3000 calories a day to keep that up. What you need al depends on your body. Don't lsiten to everything you're hearing, yes, there are some general calorie guidelines, but we all have different bodies, metabolisms, and activity rates. What you need to do is be OK with taking in as much as you need-be it 2000 or 4000. You'll need more than most people because you're metabolism is likely in hyperdrive right now.

the best thing to do right now is get some accountability. Even though you may WANT to gain, you're mind and body will try to trick you. You need people-family to make sure you're getting a minimum amount a day. I know you're not a little kid, but if it means having your mom make, and serve all of your food-thats what needs to happen. It's what I needed in the end, I had to give up the control fully and completely to shake this thing. Also, you need to have set times and amounts to eat. You CANNOT trust your body at this point, so set times to eat and do it-hungry or not. This means, breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. It's a ton of food, but you need it- I only say that because I've been there, am there.

it sounds like you're eating great foods-which is good. Your body has not only starved itself of fat stores, but of nutriets, so you need to replace them with high nutirient and vitamin diet. You also need good fats, and some "free" foods as well. Personally, that was the hardest part. Having lowfat dairy products, not fat free, as well as no "diet" foods. fruits and veggies are important, but you need to make sure you're getting LOTS AND LOTS of carbs and fats too. Best of luck to you!!!!

I know how hard this mut be for you, but you have to accept that your fears and beliefs are not based on reality, but caused by the eating disorder. Anorexia makes you beleive that if you eat enough to fuel your body, you will never stop gaining weight. But that simply is not true. There may be an initial weight gain - but your body will adjust to getting what it needs and your metabolism will shoot back and you will stabilize at a place that is healthy for you. Actually, you may have to eat even more than you are now in order to get to a healthy weight. During my most recent hospitalization I ended up having to eat somewhere around 4400-4600 calories a day (plus the "extra" Ensures I started getting when my weight stalled for a week). So really, you have nothing to fear. Those thoughts you are having are just anorexia worming its way in and trying to keep you in its clutches.

As far as when to eat...well...right now you probably can't always trust yourself to know when you are hungry. Personally, I find that following a plan really helps me to make sure I get enough calories in during the day. Three meals, three snacks. I generally plan them out ahead of time as well so I don't get ED trying to convince me I shouldn't have something, or that I should replace X with Y etc. For me, once its written down, that's the way it stays and nothing else to it. For me, planning helps circumvent ED. Going to a nutritionist could definitly be a big help for you if you feel insecure about your food choices.

A blood test will not determine your metabolic rate. It will however show any deficiencies or imbalances you may have developed from malnutrition. You may prescribed a supplement or vitamin to take to help get everything back to normal.

This is very very obvious, but I realized today my binge/relapse problem is based on that fact that when i have a binge, my stomach gets huge and I feel so full and disgusting (I binge on things like a couple bowls of ice cream with raisins, and cereal, I had 2 slices of pizza, peanut butter w/ apple, and probably about 10 little resees chocolate peanut butter 'bells', not to mention i'll throw in things like cauliflower and broccoli which just bloat my stomach even MORE..)and i think, if my stomach is this fat now, i'm FINE. me? have to gain weight?? look at my stomach! no, not me. I dont need to gain, I'm huge. 

I NEED TO STAY ON TRACK. I know this all was obvious, and the basis of most binge/relapse cycles, but i somehow felt saying it  or putting it in words would help. 

wow... i think that you could stand to gain more than 5-7 lbs. it's not about where other people are weight wise, it's about where your body wants to be. you said that you were 122 lbs., prior to restrictive dieting. you were younger than, so naturally, you weighed less. but at your current age, 127 lbs. sounds very appropriate. you grow with age.

your body will honestly gain to a point where it is comfortable. everyone's body has a natural set point in which they function wonderfully. this can be determined by examining a life-long growth chart, in which your doctor will plot weights that you have been at since the age of a toddler. most everyone will fall along a certain weight percentile. your goal, then, should be to get back to your life-long growth curve percentile. this website is handy for figuring out where that is http://www.mymethodist.net/health-info/wellne ss/pediatric/child-growth-calculator.aspx

as for the hunger, that is GOOD! it means that your body is finally reacting to food, actually digesting again! you deffinetly need to work your way up to atleast 2500 calories again. with all the damage that anorexia does to your body, you need to eat more than what feels comfortable, because not only is weight gain neccesary, but body repairation  must occur, too.

and the heart palpitations... that is a very dangerous indicator. you should visit your physician and describe these palpitations to him/her. this could mean that damage has been done to your heart as a result of malnourishment. they can help you to reverse this damage, but you have to be very cautious. this means standing up slowly after sitting/lying down, minimal physical activity, ect. a heart problem is very serious.

please revisit your physician. if they are not an Eating Disorder specialist, try to find one. regular doctors are often misinformed on Eating Disorders, so it's best to see a specialist who knows both the physical and physcological complications you are expriencing. it may also be wise to have a family member take over your food for now, too, since your thinking is distorted. that's right, your brain is starved in addition to your body, so you are incapable of making wise decisions. visit http://maudsleyparents.org.

best of luck.

Thanks so much for all your help!

I've been eating 2500 calories everyday for the past 2 1/2 weeks, sometimes a bit more or less, and i think i've already gained just a few pounds. But only in my hips and thighs and now i look really disproportioned! I know i probably only gained about 4 pounds because i weighed myself a few days ago and it said 108, but it's like i can feel all the weight in my hips when i walk and it kind of weirds me out. Most people would say it's probably just water weight, but i'm not sure how that works. Do people usually feel the water weight on them or just go by the scales? But if this is real weight, it seems strange that i'm already noticing it while for most people it takes a lot more calories and time just to gain a few pounds like I might have already did. I don't want to be gaining too fast, but i want to speed up my metabolism. Do you think i should stick with 2500, or up it even more? Because i heard sometimes the more calories you give in recovery, the faster you're metabolism gets.

I'm going to see a dietician next week so i'll see how that goes..

same boat dude. i'm 16 next week, 5'4 1/2" and 98-99 lbs, and i haven't had a period in about six months. my parents and everyone tells me i'm really unhealthy and i should eat more, but when i went to see a doctor they were really REALLY vague and they never even got around to actually telling me to gain. but everyone else does, and i've been having weird heart/breathing/sleeping problems too and it freaks me out a bit. so like half the time i'll be really scared and think i'm going to die at 25 of a heartattack, so i'll be totally up for the extra calories. but then whenever i do go through periods where i'll eat more, even if i gain like 2 pounds (thats probably just a fluctuation or water weight or whatever) i freak out and crash diet for like a week until its off. and even when i feel like i'm eating way, WAY too much its still only around 1500 calories or something, but i just feel so huge and disgusting. the past few days i've had like 700 calories, because for some unexplainable reason i have my heart set on weighing 97.

everytime i meet a goal, even though i'm underweight, i can't help but set a new one. and i'm terrified of gaining weight too, even tiny little increments. i can't stop weighing myself every day, i can't stop counting, and i can't stop worrying about everything. i'm really glad someone has the same stupid problems i do. good luck, i really hope you get better!

Original Post by cate_starshine:

Thanks so much for all your help!

I've been eating 2500 calories everyday for the past 2 1/2 weeks, sometimes a bit more or less, and i think i've already gained just a few pounds. But only in my hips and thighs and now i look really disproportioned! I know i probably only gained about 4 pounds because i weighed myself a few days ago and it said 108, but it's like i can feel all the weight in my hips when i walk and it kind of weirds me out. Most people would say it's probably just water weight, but i'm not sure how that works. Do people usually feel the water weight on them or just go by the scales? But if this is real weight, it seems strange that i'm already noticing it while for most people it takes a lot more calories and time just to gain a few pounds like I might have already did. I don't want to be gaining too fast, but i want to speed up my metabolism. Do you think i should stick with 2500, or up it even more? Because i heard sometimes the more calories you give in recovery, the faster you're metabolism gets.

I'm going to see a dietician next week so i'll see how that goes..

One the of the many fantastic things about being women is that we're all different shapes...  4lbs really doesn't make you look 'disproportioned'.....  As you gain weight it'll affect different parts of you.... as you keep gaining weight it'll even out.  Some of us are naturally 'apple-shaped' and tend to have thicker waists.  Some of us are 'pear-shaped' and tend to have wider hips.  Embrace your natural shape as you regain the lost weight rather than thinking you're in some way unusual.   Get yourself new clothes that fit your new shape rather than squeezing into the old ones.  Love the new you.

Everyone has water-weight in varying amounts at varying times.  If you go from a starvation diet to a regular diet your body will start by replenishing your short-term energy stores and you'll get a big initial gain.  What's important is the trend.  If your weight goes steadily upwards by 2 or 4 or 8lbs a month then that's your true gain.

2500 is the minimum & there is no upper limit.  Try to stay off the scales now for at least a week... enjoy eating.... and then check your progress.  If your weight-gain has slowed down that means your metabolism has speeded up and that you need to add more calories to keep gaining.  Well done so far.  Keep smiling.