scared out of my mind

I dont know if this is exactly the right forum, i guess it could go under health and support but o well.  For the past month i have been trying to gain weight, trying to recover from an ED, but all is failing.  At one point i managed to gain 2 pounds, but freaked out and went back down.  I am at 110 right now and have made a goal of 120 for the time being.  At the moment i have been eating almost 3000 calories each day for the past two weeks, and workout maybe 2-3 times a week with weight lifting.  I havent gained anyting.  Well yesterday i went in for an assesment and am deciding on going doing a partial program.  I would go for the morning and afternoon but then come home for dinner and the night.  I know this is what i need to do to gain weight because i obviously cant do it on my own because i freak out over food horribly.  I guess i am scared because i am going to be gaining weight, and i dont want too, and the problem is actually finally going to be solved.  I have been putting it off.  Sure sometimes i enjoy food, but still atmoments i feel like crying from frustration.  I am nervous and stressed over what i will be eating at this place, how much i will have to eat.  I dont want them to make me gain a bunch of weight and i leave feeling fat.  I really dont want to go, but i know that if i dont want to live with an ED the rest of my life, i should probably do it.  Does anyone have any experience with this stuff?

I've been a DP - as in I stayed for all 3 meals, but lived close enough to go home to sleep. It's tough, no mistakes. You're there to gain, as much as you are there to sort out 'issues'. However, at the very least, it gives you reason to eat, it justifies why you are eating  -to stay out of units!