scared to move home

Okay, so I am finishing up grad school and moving home at the end of this month. I have been doing well with the weight loss when I am on my own at school. Every time I come home for a weekend, it is absolutely terrible. It is like a trigger to binge like crazy especially if I am alone in the house. Last night was terrible. I felt like crap. I binged, unfortunately purged, binged again, and then purged again. I forced myself out of the house and then later came home and ate some more, but didnt purge. The only time I have ever purged has been at home. It is not often, but I don't know what the deal is. I am moving home soon and am so scared to. I feel like I have no control here. And now this morning I feel depressed and my throat is killing me. I don't think I have a problem, but moving home could potentially lead to a eating problem...I just needed to say this, and if anyone has any advice or anything I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

Also, I know this question is cliche, but am I going to gain weight from last night!? I am freaking out about that too...ah hopefully today is better, but we are getting Chinese food later for mother's day. I will hopefully have steamed shrimp and veggies.

You don't gain weight from one meal. 

Bingeing is sometimes set off by emotions.  However, it is also very commonly set off by undereating.  If 'doing well with the weight-loss' means you've been restricting what you eat too severely you will overeat when you get the opportunity.... that's pretty natural.   What's emphatically not normal is purging.  That is extremely dangerous and just one episode can be fatal.   Malnutrition (a poor or inadequate diet) will also make feelings of anxiety and depression worse.

• Do you make yourself Sick because you feel uncomfortably full?
• Do you worry that you have lost Control over how much you eat?
• Have you recently lost more than One stone (14lb/6.5kgs) in a 3 month period?
• Do you believe yourself to be Fat when others say you are too thin?
• Would you say that Food dominates your life?

Given what you say, if you can answer 'yes' to two or more of the above questions you should talk to your doctor.  And, whatever happens, talk to those close to you about what's been going on. 

Original Post by petruzzi2:

I binged, unfortunately purged, binged again, and then purged again. I forced myself out of the house and then later came home and ate some more, but didnt purge...

I don't think I have a problem...

Actually, yes, you have a very big problem. Binging and purging is incredibly damaging behaviour. It can be fatal each and every time you purge. Binging and purging is also a sign of a disordered relationship with food. By the time you begin purging, for instance, it is likely that you already see food as 'the enemy' and not as a source of health and enjoyment.

Please see a doctor or therapist, preferably both about this. The last thing you want is to develop full blown bulimia.

In the meantime, I suggest you plan your meals while you are living at home. Plan to include treats, but not ones that will trigger you to binge. Knowing what you are going to eat each day can be a big help in preventing binges. Also, try keeping a food diary and recording everything you eat, even if you binge. This can also be helpful in reducing binge behaviour because you are acknowledging the food that you have chosen to eat, instead of trying to wipe it from your memory and avoid responsibility for your choices.

I eat more of the foods I'm not supposed to when I visit my mom as well. Now, I bring my own foods...enough for 3 meals each day and several snacks for each day. This makes me feel like I have control over my eating rather than the other way around. And if I feel like I must "binge" (probably from the stress of not being at my home), I know I can reach into my stash and hopefully get my fix with a fiber bar and a banana, or a piece (or two) of peanut butter toast. If I had to eat what was available from my mom's house, I'd no doubt have to choose the mms, the donuts, the chips & dip, the ice-cream...whew, it's tempting there, but having my own back-up plan really helps me a lot.

Thanks for your advice, everyone. I really appreciate it. I have been home all weekend and did better the past two days.