scared...could i have screwed up?...i'm so scared

this is really kinda gross but i really need everyone's opinion on this

so last nite my boyfriend and i were fooling around and he put...himself...near...me.. and he never went in or anything but i've been freaking out becuz i think he came and never told me

i swear i need everyone's opinion on this i havent slept, eaten...

ive just sat in the bathroom cried and had about 4 panic attacks in 12 hours...im exhausted and nausated

i'm so scared i'm pregnant or could get pregnant...i just got off my period like 2 days ago and i'm so freaking scared

im only 16 and this would ruin my life please be honest and tell me wut u think

please i really need ur opinions

First of all relax, take a deep breath.  If there's nothing to worry about, then there's no point in panicking, and if something's occurred, panicking won't help.

Second, if there was no penetration, it's not very likely you're pregnant, especially if you've just finished your period.  Typically, peak fertility/ovulation doesn't occur until half way through a normal menstrual cycle, and even with full penetration, sperm has to travel through an obstacle course to get where it needs to go to fertilize anything, even when something's there to fertilize.

Hope you won't mind some 30something advice:  Have a talk with your boyfriend about honesty when you're being intimate, and discuss ways you can be together and safe at the same time.  In addition, you may want to consider holding off on that kind of intimacy for a while - you've recognized that a mistake would ruin your life, and I'll be perfectly blunt here:  contraception sometimes fails.  Whatever you do, be as safe as possible.

You most likely don't have anything to worry about, - I hope everything works out.  Good luck!

On edit:  with some research, I found people claiming there is a very slim chance, but it depends on how lubricated the path is, how close he got to you, how much clothing you had on in the vaginal area, how quickly you washed up, and what point you are in your cycle.  You could try to get some counseling at a local Planned Parenthood if you're not comfortable with discussing it with your parents.

Well...it should be obvious if he came because there would have been quite a mess.  If you are truly concerned, please contact your local planned parenthood ASAP about the morning after pill.  Although it's highly unlikely that you are pregnant, this will reduce your chances of pregnancy by about 75%.  The sooner you take it, the more effective it will be.  Can you talk to your parents about this?

I WOULD suggest the morning after pill, but considering your boyfriend didn't penetrate you, there is virtually no chance you are pregnant. 

I'm concerned about your reaction.  I'm glad you're taking your future seriously, but having panic attacks because your boyfriend came near you is a little extreme.  I would suggest checking out a women's health clinic for some education.  While it's important to take the consequences of unprotected sex seriously, it can be equally harmful to rely on urban myths and anecdotes (the ol' order-of-operations chestnut springs to mind) as a guide for assessing your actual risk. 

Getting some real information from a health care provider who can answer your questions honestly is the antidote to anxiety.  Don't be afraid or embarassed--it's their JOB to help you!  And you in turn can be an awesome resource for your friends who are no doubt relying on the same specious myths that you are. 

I've taken the morning after pill (the stupid condom broke).  It works by preventing ovulation for awhile (I can't remember for how long, but you can ask Planned Parenthood), so you should go today or tomorrow to get it.  It is $30 where I live, but you should call to get a price.  More than likely you have nothing to worry about, but I know how scary it can be. 

You definitely need to have a talk with your BF.  He needs to know that if you get pregnant, he is the father and will be legally responsible for finacial support.  He also needs to respect you more.  What he did was very disrespectful and could have really messed up yours and his life.  If you are going to continue doing this kind of stuff, I would recommend keeping the pants on if he is going to be on top of you.  If you feel like you are ready to do further, please get protection (you can get it from Planned Parenthood)!!!! 

Eh. I gotta say don't worry. If he had came.. I'm pretty sure you wouldve known. Its kinda hard to not know.. it'd be a fair mess. Just be more careful next time.

You definitely need to have a talk with your BF.  He needs to know that if you get pregnant, he is the father and will be legally responsible for finacial support.

There would be a hell of a lot more to worry about than "financial support" if you get pregnant at 16 and decide to keep the baby.  The entire course of your life would be changed at that point.

to keep up

there is absoultely no way i can talk to my parents about this and im accustomed to having panic attacks quite often [one or two a week]

there wasnt really...any mess at all...so would that help for you guys to assume he didnt come?

i also took a long...cleansing shower wen i got home...would that help my chances at all...

i really don't think you need to worry about pregnancy.  at least not today!  but i do wonder...just how close do you think you and your boyfriend can get to "doing it" without actually doing it?  if you're naked (or at least bottomless), he's aroused, you're messing around, and your genitals are "close"...well, sweetie, it's just a matter of time before this becomes something to be concerned about.

there's nothing wrong with messing around and stimulating each other, but i suggest that until you're ready, only one of you should take your pants off at a time ;)

does anyone think that the fact it took my my about 2 years to get pregnant and tons of other women in my family forever to get pregnant would that decrease my chance of getting knocked up?

not really.  the fact that you didn't have sex would, though.

maybe, but i wouldn't bank on it....and your mom's genes won't protect you from STDs.  i would recommend browsing the planned parenthood teens section.

so does anyone think i have a good chance of being pregnant

i dont kno how to calm my nerves

i couldnt even eat a salad at dinner tonite

i really dont kno how to calm myself or if i should even be calm becuz i could screw myself over

Call planned parenthood.  They can help, I swear!!!  It is highly unlikely that you are prego but if you talk to professionals they can give you a clear idea of what your chances are and what you can do.  This will definitely calm your nerves.

im getting the morning after pill tomorrow

will the reduce my risk more?

Yes, and depending on where you live it may be completely free.

the morning after pill--in the very unlikely case that some sperm found it's way into your body--will create an inhospitable environment for the little swimmers and prevent conception.  if conception has already occurred, it won't do anything except probably make you sick.

listen, seriously, if there was no penetration and no sticky, gooey mess, you don't have to worry.

what makes you think your boyfriend ejaculated?

Go to the library and get some books, or at least read them while you are there -- just about the human body/sex in general. And maybe keep your clothes on until you're a little more educated on the subject. I'm sure you're not pregnant. What's all the worry for? What if you are? Stressing about it isn't going to make it go away. You'd definitely know if he came -- you'd have had to clean up.

i'm starting to wonder, jess, if you kind-of want to be pregnant.  you seem to be pretty resistant to the idea that you're not.

You're way too uneducated to be having sex or any type of it. Stay away from the penis please.

jess!!!  I assume those X's around your name mean straight edge! If thats the case you should be staying away from that kind of stuff anyway!!  Just be smart! Your young, pleasure can wait! haha well.... its tough but good luck! And dont worry, I agree with everyone else that you will be just fine!