scared but trying

I'm not really sure where to start. It's been a long time coming. I need to desperately lose weight. I know i need to be healthy and realistic about it. I have well over a hundred pounds to lose. I am only 26, and i have my whole life ahead of me, i want to one day have a family, and be around to watch my kids grow up.

I really want to do this, but i feel that i lack any self discipline and motivation. I have an addiction to food. if it is around i will eat it. I hide behind my weight as much as i want to be in a relationship the idea of getting close to anyone scares me to death. it's like i've purposely done this to myself, so that i can't be happy, but what i want is to be happy. it doesn't make sense to me.

I think if i can find a way to exercise then i would be making a big step. it's just a matter of sticking with it.  But here is the problem i don't have the money to buy a treadmill, and back when i had one i never used it anyway, and i'm to embarrassed to even go outside and walk. i literally hide inside my house all day. I don't like to see myself this way why should i want every other judgmental person see me like this too. one may say, don't worry what others think, to them i say easier said than done.

I kinda feel the same way you do. I too need to losse weight, yet I lack the motivation. I don't like going to the gym b/c I feel like everyone is gonna be looking at the fat girl. Stick in their and take it slow, small baby steps at a time. Start by geting ur eating under controll (I myself am still working on this, It's hard for me to shake fast food) maybe get an exercise dvd...I have a yoga one but I need to actualy take the time and do it. *sigh* I need ti get this lazy streak out of me. Good luck to you and best of wishes. :D

my best motivation is to have a piece of clothing I can't fit into but someday (soon) will be able to. also to think logically like I want to have a family, and picture yourself with your ideal family and a handsome husband and a ideal you. And its hard to say no to something so good like an extra piece of cake or lots and lots of ranch on a salad because its sooo satisfying THEN but after you just tear yourself apart and just give yourself self petty ( i hate saying that) but that gets you no where. I am not gonna lie to you and say its easy in the beginning but after you see results and others see results its SOO worth it. GOOOOOD LUCK!!!!!

Forget about gyms and just get a pedometer and start with 3km a day, try to walk those 3km in 30 minutes, after that becomes easy increase the distance, it's cheap and practical. Also count the calories, stop buying sodas and junk foods, eat raw fruit and vegetables, lean meat, etc. Remember that just saying that you want to lose weight will not make you lose any weight, it's all in the action not the words.

Since you're opposed to going outside, why not get some workout videos that you can do at home? There are also lots of workouts in magazines like 'Shape' and 'Women's Health' (I'm sure you could find some on their websites). Many magazines and websites offer a wide range of at home workouts (both cardio and weight training). Just google it! : D

Are you totally dead against going for walks? I used to be really wary of going to the pool to workout (bathing suit is bad news for me), but I said to myself 'People have no right to judge me when I've gone to the gym to make a healthier choice'! I'm sure people are judging me for my weight all day, but my workout is the one time I won't let them. We shouldn't feel embarrassed for making good choices for our bodies! I know that's so much easier said than done, but if you can try and just get out for a long walk now and then it'd be helpful for your weight loss and get you some fresh air! Perhaps you can time it so not many people are out? 

Also, exercise is just part of the weight loss equation. Good nutrition is important too. Best of luck!! :)

I totally agree. I'm not trying to rush into it all full force. I agree with the baby steps philosophy. I've been looking for dvd's that i am actually capable of doing. yes eating is a big issue with me. i think as much as i hate to do it untill i can get the addiction under control doing my shopping day by day. each day going to the store and buying only what i will eat that day, individual servings. Ty, and very good luck to you also.

i'm not necessarily opposed to going outside i think it would be very healthy for me. I just need to put my fear aside and do it. I have a feeling once i started i would continue, it's just a matter of jumping in there and doing it.

Original Post by magicalmandy:

i'm not necessarily opposed to going outside i think it would be very healthy for me. I just need to put my fear aside and do it. I have a feeling once i started i would continue, it's just a matter of jumping in there and doing it.

Sorry, bad wording on my part. ^_^ But yeah, just jump in there! You can do it!! 

Lol it's ok i knew what you meant. I like the exercises that they show you in the magazines.  I'm not trying to make excused, but a lot of them use the chairs and exercise balls. there's one problem i've tried some of them and well when you are only 5 feet tall it's a bit difficult because the proportions are all wrong, but there are a few that i have found that i could make work. i shall keep everyone updated.

Ideally, you should exercise.  But weight loss is not a lost cause if you're not ready for that.  I didn't have as much to lose, but I lost the bulk of it without exercise becuase I just didn't have time.

Start small and build up.  Do you drink lots of soda, juice, beer or other high-cal beverages? -- Cut back.  Drink water or tea instead.  'Diet' drinks are just as bad as the normal versions but for other reasons.  Stop using milk and sugar in your coffee.  I was a 'milk and sugar with a drop of coffe' drinker.  I slowly used less and less milk and sugar.  Now I drink it black and love it.

When you eat a meal at home, serve yourself on a smaller plate, like a bread or salad plate.  The plate will be full and look like you have lots of food.  If you want more, drink a little water and wait 15 minutes before going back for seconds.  You might find that you're actually not hungry and don't want seconds.

Want a dessert?  Go for fresh fruit with a half a scoop of ice cream instead of the mounds of ice cream topped with chocolate syrup or whatever.  Just have half a piece of cake.

Eat a little less meat and a little more fruits and veggies.  Eat less white bread, rice, and pasta and more whole-grain versions.

I almost never buy the 'diet' version of anything.  They're never very good and don't satisfy my craving for sweet, salty, ....  I let myself indulge sometimes with beer, pizza, or (holy cow) two pieces of cake!  Sometimes I plan for it, sometimes I don't.  But either way I get back to the program the next day and don't wallow in self pity for falling off the wagon.  It happens sometimes.

When you're ready, you can start exercising if you don't start now.  Walking is better than nothing and FREE.  Swimming is great if you're not too embarassed to wear a swimsuit.  If you like company, you can join a gym or a sports team.  Most cities have women's softball, kickball, tennis, soccer, insertsporthere leagues that are pretty inexpensive to join.

Whatever you do, good luck.

about the walking:  there is always leslie sansone's walk videos, you walk in place inside at home.

good luck

Your post really spoke to me.  I could have written it myself 2.5 years ago!  I used to feel exactly the same way.  I am 5' tall also!  And when I was 23 and just graduating college, I weighed about 245 pounds.  I didn't think I was capable of losing weight, I also felt insecure about exercising, and I would eat whatever was around, huge amounts, until I felt sick.  I felt very "stuck" in that situation and I wondered if I would be that big forever.

My turning point came on a 4-week group trip out of the country right after graduation.  I was doing a lot of physical activity and food was only available for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  When I got home, I realized that I had "magically" lost 20 lbs on that trip!  I wasn't stuck anymore!  And I realized if I could lose weight by accident, then I could certainly lose weight on purpose!  Losing that first bit gave me confidence that I took and rolled over time and time again into more losses, better habits, and more confidence.  I am now 25 and weigh 172 pounds and I am still going!

I realize you probably don't have any vigorous month-long trips planned, but you don't need one.  The first thing you must realize is that weight loss is possible.  I used to set myself up for failure by expecting to improve all my bad  habits at once.  When I would fail, I would get discouraged.  I suggest to set yourself up for success rather than failure!  My advice is to pick one, very small bad habit that you currently have and resolve to change it for one month.  Remember, it took you 26 years to get where you are...it may take many years to undo those habits!  Don't try to fix everything at once.  Maybe you choose to cut out soda, or candy, or you even choose to walk around the block each day.  Every day remind yourself of your goal.  If you fail some of the days, it's not the end of the world.  But the confidence you will feel each day you reach the goal will slowly become your new addiction!

The reason I suggest this is because the numbers on the scale always felt so out of my control.  So making a goal for myself to even lose 5 pounds at that point was the same to me as crossing my fingers and hoping the number went down.  But when I made the behavior my goal...then I slowly, slowly started to see results.  Because my behavior IS in my control.  And eventually it translates to that number on the scale.

And on worrying about what others think:  I still do a lot.  I am still big, even after losing 70+ lbs.  I think even the most fit women out there still worry about what others think.  But the more you let that negativity dwell in your head, the harder it is to advance your goals.  When one of those thoughts comes up, say something positive inside your head or even out loud to counteract it.  Some positive things you can say are: I am a wonderful person!  I am fighting to achieve my goals!  I am strong!  I realize this sounds kind of crazy, but it has really helped me gain confidence.  One more thing on this.  Being judgemental, I think we could all agree, is a weakness.  So to act based on what someone else might think, you are letting the weakness of another person control you.  I recently read this idea in a book and it really made me think.  Why would I let someone else's weaknesses control me?  That was kind of an "aha!" moment for me. 

Sorry this was so long!  I just really related to what you were saying!  You can do it!

totally agree with phillygirl29...........and I went through a similar story. Honestly I started walking outside/ Videos at home. then graduated to the gym and i know you FEEL like everyone's looking but I've noticed everyone is into their own workout. And i work out at my University gym where all the soccer and basketball players train. Trust, no one who is there to get in a good work out and be healthy is paying attention to others. Usually the people who judge go once a month and give up so you rarely see them.

I've written this before elsewhere but here was my trick. I told myself to "STOP making myself a victim .  "poor me, I'm fat" ok well then do something about it, or don't complain" it's going to take time (im 1.5years and going) but the results are worth it and you will feel so much better (healthy).  It might sound harsh but it's that PUSH that comes from inside that makes people change. 

Eat healthy, NEVER SKIP A MEAL, stay within a reasonable calorie count for your height *never anything below 1200* and thats pushing it. Workout little by little and you'll get better with time. But all the advice in the world won't do a thing if the desire to change doesn't come from inside.

I wish ya the BEST and don't let small downfalls keep you from continuing. accept the downfall happened and move on. You've already taken the first step to change so that in itself is something to be proud of!!! GOOD LUCK!!! :P

I myself have about 75lbs to lose to get to healthy weight for my height and build. For me I just got to a point where I was sick of myself and needed to change and have started to do so. I'm in my 2nd week on here. I'm currently not doing any exercise programs. I'm working on portion control first and getting the hang of knowing when to stop. I'm joining a pilates class in January. I also don't want to join the pilates class now because I know I would be SO embarassed because I know everyone else there is going to fit and I would feel like I stand out too much...

Just know that you're not alone, you CAN do this. You really have to just get your mind set to it and push yourself!

You have a million people here to show you support everyday if that's what you need. And from my experience on this site so far, they really show nothing but support and are great encouragement!!

Thank You all so much. Just in my one day of logging yesterday i realized that 500 calories a day comes from the mt. dew i drink. I need a way to keep the caffeine in my diet, well actually slowly reduce it. I don't drink coffee and i'm going to try to drink water, but as for caffeine does anyone have any suggestions of something that is lower cal.?  so as for today. Baby step number 1 is to have 1 less glass of mt. dew, and to get some measuring cups to start measuring exactly how much food i eat. Also i am going to try a few in home exercises and see if i cant download a fitness video. 

You guys are truly an inspiration to me and ty soo much for taking the time to reply to me, to know that there are people out there that care about my success as much as i do means a lot to me.

And to all of you i also say best of luck and stay strong. I will be here for you, as i am sure you will be here for me!

Thank you

Original Post by sfredbull:

about the walking:  there is always leslie sansone's walk videos, you walk in place inside at home.

good luck

I have one of these and there are great. I haven't used it in ages but when I did it was a great work out