In school forever. Can anyone relate?

This is kind of a rant, kind of looking for people in the same situation.

All my friends from high school are having babies, getting married starting their careers and I'm not even finished my first degree. After this one I still have my Master's and then my PHD. Then, I have to pay off my loans and make some money before I can even start thinking about having a family.

I'm just jealous that there are so many of my friends who are starting their lives at 20 and I'll probably have to wait till I'm 30. Don't get me wrong, I love academia and I wouldn't choose to be anywhere else.

 Just every time I see a friend from high school I ask what they've been up to and they usually say something like 'child 2 on the way, just got promoted / bought a house / whatever, getting married..etc'. And when they ask me the same I answer, 'oh, you know, lots of studying.' then they say 'Oh, but you'll be done soon?' and I have to answer 'no, not for another 5 years or more...' then there's awkward silence for a few seconds before they start talking about their wonderful lives. And don't even get me started on how much I love having friends over to my 250$/month crappy apartment when they own a lovely $150k house.

Maybe I'm just stressed out right now because my grad research grant applications are coming up and I am lost.

Anyone else choose the long college route and are feeling similar to how I am?

geez, i can completely relate!  difference is, I'm 7 years older, am almost finished with school (finally! I'm getting my J.D.) and know exactly how ugly those loans really are and am scared about having to start paying them off soon!  Worse yet, if I want to stay where I am, apartments stat at $800/month and go up, houses around $300k for a piece of crud, and I won't even get in to what raising a family costs!

trust me, i feel your pain (all of my friends are engaged/married/starting families) and I'm starting to wonder if i'll ever get there.  try not to stress about it and remember that there is a reason you are getting this amazing education, and that in the end, it will all be for the better!

I totally know how you feel. I'm just finishing my bachelors and I'm off to do my Masters in a year or so.

I have like three friends who I used to be really really close to who have been popping out crotchfruit for a year or so. I'm not  so much jealous but just weirded out.

I feel same way about this situation as I do about the way I'm focusing on weight loss, really. When I'm successful and all that stuff... I can look back and KNOW I worked my ass off to be there. I can say "I did THIS! I'm awesome!". For me, it makes it worth it right there.

And not to presume or anything... but I've always thought young marriages are rather.... silly. I'd like to get a really good idea of who I am before I commit to something like that. From my (admittedly completely anecdotal) experience, my young friends who are married seem make their lives dependent on being married and having kids- like they need it to define themselves, rather than starting with their own identity and building a family. Does that make sense?

 

Ah yes. definitely makes sense. I feel the same way, but it's really nice to know others do! Most of my friends who are married begin every story with "<husband/wife's name> and I were..." and seem to never have done anything without thier SO in tow. Sounds like a recipe for failure to me... but I guess I don't have much experience in that department.

Still... having a steady income would sure be nice!

I know what you mean, too. I'm only just starting college in the fall. But after that, I plan to go for at least a Master's degree in my language majors. And I'm thinking about going to law school.

I have a really serious boyfriend. And he's not planning on going to school after college. He doesn't need to. He's majoring in programming and web design, so no need to study it more. But I feel like I'll never be finished studying. It kind of scares me that I'll be in school for a good 7-11 years yet.

I know how you feel.  I just graduated with my BA but I want to go back next year to get my masters in public health.  A lot of my friend from college are in NYC now with "real" jobs and a few are getting married, and I'm at home and working until I get into grad school and move wherever that takes me.  I feel like I'm going to be behind everyone, but I seriously love school and I know if I want to have the kind of job I want I need to go to more school. 

Do you really want to have a family and settle down right now?  You have the rest of your life to do that!!  It gets harder and harder to go back to school if you settle down with a family, so do it now and have fun!

I say, whats the hurry?

live your own life, don't base it off someone else's schedule. Sure, its frustrating as heck sometimes, but people live their life out differently...

took me a really long time to get used to this idea, so i know how you feel.

I just had a good cry about this last night.  I recently switched my major and now everything seems to be out of place. It's pretty lame.

yeah, i'm entering college this fall too and there's a good 7 years ahead of me, that is only if i can fasttrack through the program...argh. my sister is finishing her master's degree after a good 7 years and she's always laughing at me. I totally understand your pain...but hey, look on the brightside, more education usually means more pay ;)

i feel your pain! What is your major or whatnot??

I know exactly what you mean.  I'm a pre-med student, on the road to med school.  Even if I make it/finish med school, there's still internship, residency, fellowship I have to complete after that.  I estimate I'll be 32 by the time I'm done.

Some of my friends are already working after graduating high school, other of my new friends from college who just graduated in May are already job-hunting and have found their careers. ):

I don't know if it will help, but I tell myself that it will be worth it in the end, and that I don't have to go the same road as my friends.  And just enjoy the present, right?  I like studying as well, so I am content. (:

Haha looks like we have a whole support group here! Glad I'm not alone.

What are your areas of study?

I'm majoring in computer science with applied physics and math minors (although I have more than enough credits for a math major, just missing a couple specific required courses that conflicted with CS).

In grad school I'll be focusing on Artificial Intelligence, where I hope my strong math background will be useful. I plan to become a professor.

I'm studying Political Science with a concentration in Public administration. I'm going for my masters in Planning. I want to be a city/municipal planner

Me too!!! I'm in my sixth year as PhD student. I have two MAs. One BA.

I am 32 years old and will maybe graduate this year (if all goes as planned)!

I have been in school this whole time; no break. That's 14 years of college and graduate education!!!

So when my old high school friends ask me what I'm doing, I always say "Still in school." My hope is that next year, however, I'll be able to say "still in school" but will mean that that I am finally on the other end of things.

It is a long haul. It is hard to keep at it. Especially when all of your non-academic friends seem to be getting on with life. But I just hope that it will be worth it in the end. Not many people get to do what they love for a living. And with summers off to boot!

I keep telling myself: kids and family can wait. Get your career going first. You'll thank yourself at 40, when you have a job you absolutely love and the family as well. Not many people get to have both. And no wonder; it's hard work!!

It's so great to know that I'm not the only one!

My two best friends from high school are both going to be in school for a while. One is quite literally a genius and even though we graduated hs just two years ago, will be going on to graduate school in the 09-10 school year. The other was a year behind me in hs and is planning on going in to law, so she'll be at it for a while. We're all still best friends, which makes me quite happy.

Other people that I graduated with though..  I feel like most of them are getting married, having babies, and moving on to that portion of their lives very quickly.

I consider myself lucky; I'm pretty sure I have the best of both worlds. I live with my boyfriend of three years in an adorable two-bedroom home (renting) and we recently adopted an even more adorable dog. This past month Johnny and I picked out our engagement ring. I've no idea when he's actually planning the proposal, but I suspect it will happen before the end of the year. We intend to make it a long engagement, as I want to finish school and maybe start earning some real money before getting married and going on a very expensive honeymoon.

I work full-time at Panera Bread, and have recently been promoted into management. I go to school full-time studying for a Music Business degree at community college (it's cheap!) and am currently looking into school to transfer into for my Bachelors. In the long run, I am hoping to get my JD and practice entertainment law. Specifically contract and copyright law, though that's a long way off so I may become interested in some other aspect of entertainment law.

I'm 20 now. It'll probably be a solid 5-7 years until I'm finally finished with school. Therefore I suspect that I won't be in a position to have a baby until I am at least 29 or 30. And I am totally okay with that!

i'm going for a bachelor's degree in engineering and hoping to go for an MBA after that. i have no idea what i'm going to be...yeah, that's a long time to go to school for something i don't know if i'll actually like.

I am just about to finish my PhD this year, after doing a BSc/BA (4 years), LLB (Law) (3 years), LLM (Masters) (1 year) and now just going on 3 years.

I grew up in the country side, some of my friends got married at 18. All my friends from Chemistry are still studying or not yet married though (most of them went on to do med)

I think saying while an undergrad you plan on being in school for so long is probably not the best idea, just say when you finish what you are currently doing, it is alot less intimidating to others, especially if they aren't so academic. It avoids the akward silences somewhat.

Also my advice would be that studying at an undergrad level is ALOT different to doing a PhD or whatever, you might find you really don't like it. (before I switched to law I started doing a research degree in organic chem, and found spending 60 hours alone in a smelly lab just wasn't for me, so I did a law degree instead of a chem PhD, and still ended up doing a law phd).

So don't pidgeon hole yourself too much, keep open to new experiences and really try and spend some time abroad during your studies. (I've been in Europe the past 4 years) if you are interested the EU has some great grants these days, just search "erasmus mundus" and there are about 100 different masters courses with scholarships.

Everything involves choices, I hope that one day I will be more settled with a husband, family, mortgage, but if it doesn't happen, I'm okay with that too, I can be the crazy Aunt who has travelled everywhere and studied everything.

BTW there is no reason you can't get married while you are studying, so long as you can find the boy.

I'm 20 and I have my B.Sc., and am now currently taking a year off before pursuing my masters or going to teacher's college.

While I do have a serious boyfriend (as in, have already talked about marriage, kids, etc.), we both know we have to be in the right place in our lives before we can have all of that.

Also, whoever said "crotch fruit", that made me seriously laugh out loud.

Another also, I'm one of those girls who usually begins a story with "Mike and I", but he's my best friend and has been for a long time. To me it's no different than starting a story with "Chelsey and I".

 

are u Mormon or something?

Excuse me?

No, I am not Mormon. And I find that to be a little offensive.

In case you missed it, I HAVE MY DEGREE, I'm NOT getting married anytime soon, and I consider my boyfriend to be more my bestFRIEND than a lover, or whatever.

Way to be ignorant.

Hey, I am also a professional with  many years of school.  When my college friends were getting their MRS degree, I was studying.  When they were getting married and having babies, I was studying. Now, all those people's children have flown the nest and they have no idea what to do now because they didn't know who they were before they became a wife, mother, etc.  My children had a mom who was secure in herself and also financially secure.  I am still married to my original husband, and I am glad I waited to become a wife and mother.  There is something to be said for delayed gratification.  Don't expect people with less drive and ambition than you to get it.  GO HIGHER EDUCATION!