In school forever. Can anyone relate?

This is kind of a rant, kind of looking for people in the same situation.

All my friends from high school are having babies, getting married starting their careers and I'm not even finished my first degree. After this one I still have my Master's and then my PHD. Then, I have to pay off my loans and make some money before I can even start thinking about having a family.

I'm just jealous that there are so many of my friends who are starting their lives at 20 and I'll probably have to wait till I'm 30. Don't get me wrong, I love academia and I wouldn't choose to be anywhere else.

 Just every time I see a friend from high school I ask what they've been up to and they usually say something like 'child 2 on the way, just got promoted / bought a house / whatever, getting married..etc'. And when they ask me the same I answer, 'oh, you know, lots of studying.' then they say 'Oh, but you'll be done soon?' and I have to answer 'no, not for another 5 years or more...' then there's awkward silence for a few seconds before they start talking about their wonderful lives. And don't even get me started on how much I love having friends over to my 250$/month crappy apartment when they own a lovely $150k house.

Maybe I'm just stressed out right now because my grad research grant applications are coming up and I am lost.

Anyone else choose the long college route and are feeling similar to how I am?

Would u like some cheese with that whine?! Try going to school for undergrad degree with 3 kids under age 8, living on your husband's $9 an hour in a $30K home. Not mad at ya, just want to offer a little perspective. Study hard and God bless.  Amber 

All of you should listen to vetwomen that person knows what she is talking about.  I stayed in school for 7 years of my life while everyone else hurried out of school and on to the real world.  Man if everyone could just take their time growing up and enjoy the school days you will enjoy the adult days even more.  Once you are done with school you will have friends that are already divorced and friends that hate being parents etc and you will be the one with the clean slate and the perspective on life that your friends did not have because they were in so much of a damn hurry to get married and have kids.  Starting a family in your early 20's sure sounds neat but it is the best way to royaly screw your self for the next decade (other than having a child when you are in high school). 

People used to get married so young because they died so young, why should we keep getting married and having kids when we are 20?  There is so little actual thought that goes into that thinking.  Vetwomen hit it in the head saying how she knows her self and is confident in her self because of the time it took her to settle down.  Very rarely are you going to have the same taste in people and in life when you are 20 as when you are 40 so why lock your self down when you are 20 when your ideals are going to change for sure over the course of your life? By the time you are 30 you will have a real idea of who you are going to be for the next 30 years.  I am super pumped for you sarah, everything is going to work out for you!!!

I don't know that I can relate, per se, but I am so confused about what to do and this thread has really given me some insight.

I'm in my last year of college and living with a guy and have serious considerations of marriage. But I never saw myself as a person that would get married. And sometimes I want to have kids ASAP and sometimes I want to go get a masters and experiment with my life.

I usually don't worry about these things because whatever you did is what you did and that's that - you can only move on from there - but marriage is such a ridiculously difficult decision! (Especially because of my beliefs and the divorce I went through as a child, I think once you make that commitment, that's it.)

I would say, though, that if you're happy with where you are, whatever! I know people who have babies already (most accidential, but still) and I envy them not at all! I definitely wouldn't want to be pregnant in the next year, anyway, and likely not the year after that! If I know one thing it's this: Money can destroy a relationship, and if you don't have money to start a family, take one last longing look to the good 'ol days of your relationship.

(But I think that marriage and babies do change things, so it is difficult to be friends with your friends that have done this just because you have a different perspective on life. You are one unit after that, functioning as a household, and it's only natural that you'll use each other to start your sentences. That doesn't mean you don't have a personality, but it means you have different priorities.)

i'm fast approaching 27 and even faster approaching another year at university (hopefully my last!). the next academic year will be my ... 8th (!!) year at university (3 for degree, 1 for masters, and will be 4 for phd). i have no desire to get married or have kids so none of that bothers me - and i quite like still having the 'i'm a student' excuse when i go out drinking and dancing all night or sleep in late!! i do wish i had slightly more money - it is hard trying to live comfortably on a student grant and/or temporary teaching.  but this time next year i can make any smug already-on-the-property-ladder friends address me as 'doctor'. lol. i'm not even sure academia is really for me but i'm going to give it a go and see if i can get a job and publish my thesis. i don't really feel like time is slipping through my fingers or that i'm missing out on anything that won't be perfectly feasible to do/have in the future. and if the whole academia thing doesn't work out i'll still have achieved a doctorate and can take that forward into whatever new and exciting ventures present themselves. i don't want to rush through life. doing a phd is not all that pleasant - it is often lonely, frustrating, stressful and very hard work - but it has its rewards and a certain kind of independent/flexible lifestyle that a lot of nine-to-fivers would envy. so i want to enjoy this time, live in the present, and (i hope!) eventually achieve something of which i can be proud. oh, and i also get a lot of 'you must be finished now?' or 'what? still in school?'. but the odds are in ten years the tables will have turned - your friends will still be bringing up kids while many doors will have opened for you through your studies and you could be doing any number of exciting things.