What do I do with my screaming babys

I have 8 month old b/g twins and it seems like my little girl is spending her whole life screaming she is only happy for me if she climbing on me sitting right next to me or being held!!! Her brother was usually the mild one who was real good about playing with toys and just being content while I try to get some things done. Lately however he has learned to scream everytiime I walk out of the room so now they both want constant attention 24/7. What do I do? Do I let them scream for a little bit so they learn they cant always have mommy? I would just like to be able to get up and go pee or eat or brush my teeth without both of them completely melting down!!!! Any advise would be wonderful I am losing my mind! I forgot to metion that I also have a 7 year old son who wants attention too so how am I supposed to do it all? I do make sure he gets alone time but thats after they go to bed so I feel bad that he goes all day without being able to have one on one time! UGH!!!! 

Yikes, it sounds like you should be consulting a childhood development specialist rather than a fitness/nutrition forum.  You might want to read up on stages of development and attachment styles.

Wow I am sorry I thought that since this was pregnancy and parenting a parent could come and ask other parents for advise, which I was doing but apparently that was wrong of me? I apologise and I will take myself and my question elsewhere as you suggested! 

my own personal opinion (yes, I am a parent) is that you let them cry, but only for a few minutes -- go back to the room and show them that you are still around and not gone for good.  Repeat this many times with gradually increasing the amount of time you are gone from the room.

qpx and teener_3kiddos, that's the great thing about the Pregnancy and Parenting forum.  It's just for that-the wide range of pregnancy and parenting issues that arise, so there's no requirement that your post be about fitness and nutrition. :)

teener, my 2yo son does something similar.  I used to not be able to shower or go to the bathroom alone.  Whenever I'd go into the bathroom, he'd scream and cry, and Daddy would end up bringing him in there with me.  I thought I'd never shower without an audience again!  LOL!  He's sort of outgrown that on his own.  Now he'd rather play with trucks with Daddy while I'm in the bathroom.  On days that Daddy isn't home, I just have to bring my son in the bathroom with me, but we bring lots of toys so he stays occupied.  He's a total busybody, so the house would be in shambles if I couldn't keep an eye on him while I'm in there, and he'd actually prefer to NOT be in there with me.

But, I understand it's harder for you with the twins.  I agree with coach_k on leaving them for a few minutes at a time.  I just tell my son I'll be right back in two minutes, and then I pick him up as soon as I come back from the bathroom.  Now he realizes when I say I'll only be a few minutes that I'm really only going to be gone a short time.  He doesn't get upset when I go into the bathroom without him anymore.  As for showering, I used to try to get up before my son, but he seems to get up earlier and earlier.  I also tried showering when he napped.  Do your babies take a morning nap?  My son used to nap around 9 or 10 am.  That's later than I wanted to get in the shower, but it was much easier on me.  And if none of the above work, I let him have his meltdown.  There are still times my son wants to come into the bathroom with me, and Daddy doesn't let him.  He'll pound on the door and cry, but after a few brief moments of that, he'll give up and go back to his toys.     

Oops, I didn't see the category.  My apologies.  I just figured that Calorie-Count wasn't a place dense with childhood development experts, which could be a totally false assumption.  But certainly search out answers wherever you can find them!

A different prospective.

 Your babies have just reached 8 months old which is about the age that seperation anxiety starts for some babies. Leaving and coming isn't going to help..it may cause your babies to become apathetic not independent.  Babies at that age and until about 18 months don't really know they are independent people. For all they know when you leave the room you have disappeared and thus they get upset.  My DS's separation anxiety started at about that age and didn't go away until he was nearly 2.  Now I was able to to leave the room after I played some fun games with him...like where's mama and peek a boo.  These games taught him he could find me and I would be coming back. 

I suggest getting a sling and enlisting the help of your seven year old.  With a sling you can at least carry one of them and if you are super ambitious you could carry one on the front and one on the back.  Your seven year old might be able to help with distracting your babies.  

 

I HTH.

 

Take them outside and let them explore the yard or a park nearby.

Go for a walk with the stroller. (hey, there's some fitness for mommy, too!)

Find a sitter and schedule time every week to get some alone time.

Or you could enroll them in an early childhood learning center where they can play, learn, and interact with other children their own age. It won't cost as much if you just bring them for a few hours a couple of times a week.

Hire a nanny to help you out.

Another word of advice: Its better to let them cry than to let them drive you insane!

I second what weddingmama said.  About 8 months is when all my babies started freaking out when I was out of their sight.  It helps to know that it's common (even has a name!) and will end eventually.

I have two young boys close in age and - just like you - couldn't even have a pee, go up the stairs for two seconds to get the wash basket or ANYTHING.  I would think why on earth did I have kids at all - what kind of torture IS this!? Only I had it easier as they followed eachother in succession rather then doing it at the same time.

They are now seeing you - and themselves as separate beings so naturally they feel insecure as mommy is now seen as separate, and not part of, them. 

I put mine in a bedroom when he was in a good frame of mind not wanting for anything.  Then I would play peek and boo, then I would do it from behind the chair or whatever, then behind the door, then behind a closed door, then increasing the time before going boo.  I am not sure how to do this with two but maybe it is worth a try. 

If they scream straight away then it is cold turkey time - go out the room, come back after 30 seconds and increase it.  They will scream but they will learn that mommy always comes back - they'll be happier for it themselves as they will feel more secure.  During these few days (which is all it hopefully should take) make sure you never leave while their back(s) are turned as you are building trust in the process - always tell them what you are going to fetch and bring it back to reinforce it.

GOOD LUCK - It is hard I know.

I'm not a parent but I grew up in the same situation! My brother and sister (twins) are 8 years younger than me. I don't really know much about whether to keep paying attention to the children or ignore them every now and then but what I can say is maybe you can get your 7 year old son to interact with you and the children so he can get attention while you play with the twins, plus you can leave him alone with the twins for a few seconds while you go brush your teeth!

Good luck with the three kids, my mom went crazy with us but now that we've all grown up she's relaxed completely :)

Thank you all for your input. I have been quite busy lately but just wanted to say I really appreciate the advise. I would love to say that they are getting better about me not being in the same room but that would be a lie! I have been trying to make a game out of me leaving the room and when I have to get something done I have just been letting them fuss until I can get back to them. I am praying to God that this phase doesn't last real long but I do take comfort in the fact that it will eventually get better (at least I hope it gets better!!!)
As far as my oldest son he is a life saver he is such a big help I don't think I could do this with out his help I am working on making sure he still gets his one on one time with either myself or his dad. I knew twins was going to be hard but I never thought it was going to be this hard and to be honest sometimes I feel like I am failing and that it really isn't as hard for others as it seems to be for me! UGHH I love my family and wouldn't change it for the world I just have to vent a little for sanity!!!!

Thanks again!!!

What a tough situation for a momma to be in...

 

I am not a mom (yet) but I do have 4 loving nephews that range from 11 years to 7 months that I have been deeply involved in their lives, plus all my friends and neighbors have kids.

It is very normal at this stage for your twins to suffer from anxiety. They are going through a lot of changes and are becoming more mobile which to them is exciting and scary.

I also suggest you let them cry, you being the mom know your kids crys and as long as it is not the "I'm hurt" cry they are fine. Just take a deep breath, you are doing GREAT!!! 

Remember this time is a short time; soon they will be walking, running and playing and not wanting to be attached to momma 24/7.

Stay Strong and vent away. We are here for support and to listen! :)

Okay,  Its not easy.  I never had twins persay.  My oldest two are 14 months apart then numbers 4 and 5 are 14 months apart and 5 and 6 are 9 months apart.  To be honest, my youngest who is now 6 still cries over everything to the point that some days I almost want to run away from home.  I get what your going through, even if I haven't experenced it directly.

8 months old is a hard stage,  Others have mentioned seperation issues developing about then and they are right.    The problem is that at 8 months old if they can't see you they don't realize you are still close by.  They have no judge of whats close and what is far away so if you leave the room, to them you are just gone.    I don't know if you play peek aboo with them or not, if you don't then you need to start,  Your oldest can help out with that.  

Truth is, I haven't had a shower or five minutes to go to the bathroom in 15 years.  My 15 year old isn't beyond standing at the bathroom door talking to me.  <rolls eyes>

Peekaboo helps them develop the skills they need to realize that just because they can't see you doesn't mean your not there.   The timed intervals of letting them cry works as well.   Its a difficult concept to follow though.   Im not sure how well it will work with 8 month olds.  It worked with my 2 year old because between intervials of ignoring her, I would simply look at her and say, I only see little girls who are doing as they are suppose to.    She eventually at least learned to go to her room and stay there at bedtime even if she has yet to learn to sleep before 3 am. 

My suggestion as opposed to that, would be leave the 7 year old with them so you can go pee  but if your  like doing laundry or whatever, I have a different idea.   I got 2 baby monitors.   I put the reciever of one and the monitor of the other both in the room with the baby.  Then I took the other parts with me.  It allowed me to monitor the baby while I was washing dishes or doing laundry while at the same time, the baby could hear me sing, or talk to them.   My voice was enough to sooth them.  

You must consider also that they could be teething.  Babies do become more clingy when they are cutting teeth.