I screwed up, and I'm feeling guilty :(

So, last night, I went over my calories by an obscene amount -- I stopped calculating exact amounts once I got over 2,000, but I think I probably ate 2,200-2,300 calories.  The thing that angers me the most is that I consumed over half of that during the dinner hour, because I'd done so well all day.  What happened was, we were invited to a friend's house for dinner.  And the dinner itself was quite healthful (chicken and black bean chili, which was quite tasty).  But then -- duh duh duuhhhh -- came the dessert...and the wine...and a second helping of dessert.  Ugh. 

I woke up this morning feeling terrible about myself.  I am only on day 3 of counting calories, and I felt so strong-willed before I got alcohol in my system and let the little voice tell me that a second helping of peanut butter squares was acceptable. 

So my question is two-fold...

I wanted to know how you guys handled yourself like this in social situations, where it becomes harder to keep track of what you're eating for several reasons -- one, it's kind of embarrassing to tell a group of people why you're not eating as much as they are ("Yea, I'm counting my calories." *pulls out pad of paper and calculator*); and two, alcohol is usually involved, which not only adds calories to your daily agenda, but completely screws your mentality and prudence.

Second, if you've ever stumbled, what do you do to talk yourself back up again?  I have a problem where I get horribly down on myself when I do this, and I don't want to anymore.  I don't want to be a self-loather, because that's how you end up with an eating disorder.  When I did Weight Watchers, it helped that we kept a weekly count (in addition to a daily count) of calories, and we also had "free calories/points" that we could consume guilt-free as a part of the plan.  But how many calories can we consume safely outside of our weekly/daily allowance without feeling guilty, if any at all?  How do you guys allow for "free calories" in your plans?

Just get back on the horse.  I fall off all the time, lol

Alcohol usually does erode my willpower.  Therefore, I try to make sure I'm not hungry *before* I have a drink or two.  It makes it less likely that I will overindulge on junk food (dessert, chips, etc.)

But you also have to remember this is a life-style change.  You don't have to stick to a *diet* you just have to make better choices about what you are eating, and have smaller portions.  Counting up the calories is important, especially at first so that we can realize what we are doing.    But really, it's just a tool to help us with our long-term decision to get healthier. 

Oh don't worry at all I have fallin off the horse quite a few times I started calorie counting(since end of October)...When I do fall off the calorie wagon and I am feeling very guilty, I normally push myself at my workouts. Like here is an example that happened to me last week...

I was doing pretty good all day but then my aunt brought me some "goodies" in her opinion that consisted of crackers, cereal, twizzlers, and chips. Let me tell you that I dont even like crackers, twizzlers, or chips but guess what? for some odd reason I ate a lot of all of it! I still don't no why! Well after that little food session hehe I worked out for two hours that night and then the next day another two and half (I usually work out for 1.5)

After both those workout sessions I felt much better and ready to ride the calorie horse like the winddd!

Oh in social situations, I let myself a bit of everything if I really want it because being a college student I dont eat any of that stuff like ever! And if someone makes a comment, I just tell them that this is what I want to eat and mind your own ps and qs please!

Beating yourself up and feeling guilty aren't really going to help you. That's what I tell myself after my occasional slip-ups. Just get up in the morning and make a fresh start. It should be that simple. It's what I would tell my best friend if she had a slip-up, and why should I treat myself worse than I would a friend?

As for the embarrassing part, I just don't get that. I see it often enough on this board that I can see that it's a prevailing theme, but I simply don't get the embarrassment over wanting to take care of yourself. My friends are all very supportive of my efforts - that's why they're my friends.

If you know you're going to be in these social situations, plan ahead. Have a glass of wine followed by one or two glasses of water, and then maybe have another glass of wine. Or don't. There's nothing wrong with stopping at just one.

I did this the other day, I went way over my calories for the day at a party.

I just worked out to burn off as many as I could that day and then got back on track the next day. That is about all you can do. Just get back on track tomorrow and try to burn extra calories if you can.

in my experience, it's always harder in the beginning.  and besides that, social situations are hard!  my friends, family, and my boyfriend's family all pressure me to eat.  there's always food around and if i don't eat, they start interrogating me about avoiding the food.  then i feel guilty for doing the right thing!

after you've been counting for a while, you'll be able to estimate how many calories things have in them just by looking at them.  i've gotten pretty good at that.  it's also easier to eyeball portions just because you've gotten so used to seeing how much a cup or an ounce is.  i think it also gets easier to say no.  now i only see food as calorie counts, and i debate whether or not the food is worth it.

another thing i do is avoid counting when i know food will be an issue, like on holidays.  like on easter, i ate until i was full and that was that.  i also indulged in some soda bread (my boyfriend's stepmom is irish) and a white chocolate cross.  i didn't bother to count because i knew it would upset me.  when it was all said and done, i think i more or less are my maintenece calories.

when i eat normally, i don't really do "free" calories.  i just eat what i want as long as the numbers add up.  but like i said before, i debate whether or not a food is worth the calories.  a mcdonald's double cheeseburger isn't worth the 440 calories to me, so i don't eat them.  but if i wanted one, i could work it into my calories every once in a while.  it's all about moderation.

Call it a maintenance day (if that's your maintenance calories) and don't worry about it. You need to protect that balance between physical health (eating well) and mental health (having fun with friends, enjoying pleasurable foods). It doesn't sound to me like you went especially overboard. If you eat as you normally did for one day out of three (for instance), then you will still lose, just one-third more slowly.

When I was losing, I would have a weekend off every month. I didn't plan it that way but it just happened - we would go to NYC to see family and friends and eat at restaurants all weekend. I came back several pounds heavier each time - like 6, 9, and on one memorable occasion, 12. (Yes, after two or three days). Of course most of it was food volume and water weight, and within 48 hours of getting back to my normal routine I would feel very relieved as the scale dropped back to within a pound or two of what it was before. I made sure not to get scared of food or develop too many emotions about it all.

Don't beat yourself over this. It happens to all of us. If you overeat one day, eat less the next day and move around more!

no need to feel guilty.  Just start living with respect for life.  There is nothing you eat that doesn't give up it's life so you can live.  Be thankfull for everything you eat.  No good no evil.  Just live the laws Jesus gave us:  Treat others how you want to be treated....and live in the spirit of love and truth.

I know how you feel. I am just starting up, this is my 3rd day, and its hard. But how about this...1 time a week, you can eat whatever you want for a meal..what do you guys think? :)

Forget it, and keep going as if it never happened. One day of overindulging is not going to wreck a week of hard work. Otherwise, try to use action/consequence behavior modification, if I eat too much of something I shouldn't have, I make myself do 50 push ups and 50 crunches, I hate doing them, but when I want to overindulge is the first thing that pops into my mind and it usually works at changing my mind.

At social settings, what I do is that I eat slowly. Small bites. I sip wine and when I am finish I get some water and start sipping it. If someone offers dessert, I usually eat a small piece and get rid of the rest somehow.

Anyhow, not eating everything on your plate is a sign of good manners, so I use it to my advantage.