Sculpting the Female Body - Weightlifting

I am trying to help my gf tone up with weightlifting. Yes, "tone up" means add some muscle. My question is what should she do and what should she not do? She is thin and her goal is to look good and fit not strong and muscular. For example, I heard that women should avoid working out their front delts to avoid a bulky, rounded shoulder look. I know someone out there will say that she should not avoid any muscles because strenghtening one area while avoiding another will lead to injury.

So, what muscles or muscle groups should she key in on and what ones should she avoid or not spend as much time on? Please explain why certain areas are more beneficial for a women's appearance. Specifically, if your up to it, a brief, women's explanation on the following muscle groups would be great:

Triceps, Biceps, Deltoids (front, side, rear), Chest, Obliques (front, side), Upper Back (traps, rhomboids), Lower Back, Glutes, Hams, Quads, Calves, Inner/Outer Thighs.

Whoever responds must agree that weightlifting increases the size of your muscles. If you do not understand or agree with this concept, please do not reply. Also, I know enough about weightlifting where I will do not need specific exercises unless they are uncommon and not difficult. I am mostly concerned with helping my gf reach her goals and justify the purpose of specific exercises to her. I want to give her sound advice and answer the question of "why am I doing this?" when she asks.

I hope to rid the world of one more pink dumbbell theorist.

Buy your girlfriend The New Rules of Lifting for Women book.

Tell her to follow it. I cannot tell you how incredible it is. No pink dumbbells in this training program I'll tell ya!

She wont bulk up, but she WILL have muscle in all the right places.

Original Post by igloogal:

...she WILL have muscle in all the right places.

 This is exactly the idea! Thanks for the book idea. I'll have to check it out. Anyone else have thoughts?

I would say stick with basic, multi-joint exercises and put more focus on the legs than upper body.  Strong legs will not be as noticeable as "big gun" arms or chest and are super sexy.  Squats and lunges to work the hams, quads and, importantly, the glutes. Calf raises as an accessory lift if she wants nice defined calves.  Upper body - bench press, pull-ups, dumbell rows, and seated shoulder press.  Again, imo, the focus should be on the lower body.

I disagree with rwnorth, if you just do lower body she'll probably look disproportionate. Plus, nice arms are totally hot. I've finally started getting definition in my biceps and I totally love it! In Jillian Michaels' 30 day Shred book she talks about how to build up certain muscles to make parts of your body look bigger or smaller. Like for example she says to build up your shoulders  and not work your obliques so much, so your waist looks smaller and more defined, since that's a look most women want.

Take a look at her diet and up the protein.  If she's new to weighlifting, I'd get her doing all the big compound moves (deads, squats, pull-ups and some bench press) before you focus on body part splits.

Here's a good article and I'd suggest searching through this site for more info & ideas:

Secrets to building a sleek physique

I am at the final stage of New Rules of Lifting, love the results, and the strength that comes with it. People tell me I have a sexy back now, which I had not previously ever heard before. Not to mention the round perkier bum, shapely legs and tiny waist. I was skinny before, and you know what, men didn't particularily find it more attractive. Now I'm 10-15 lbs heavier (from 114 to 129), and my figure definately receives a lot more positive attention then it ever did when I was thin.

If she follows through with it, she won't be disappointed.

Original Post by cpontifex:

I am at the final stage of New Rules of Lifting, love the results, and the strength that comes with it. People tell me I have a sexy back now, which I had not previously ever heard before. Not to mention the round perkier bum, shapely legs and tiny waist. I was skinny before, and you know what, men didn't particularly find it more attractive. Now I'm 10-15 lbs heavier (from 114 to 129), and my figure definately receives a lot more positive attention then it ever did when I was thin.

If she follows through with it, she won't be disappointed.

 You are so right. I couldn't agree more. When her shoulders become broader, it looks more proportionate with everything else. They say so right in the book. I read that part over and over again. . . AND the waist DOES become smaller.

From 114 to 129... you are right on there too. My friends have always said that women look way better with muscle tone than just skin and bones. I agree totally. It's great to be thin, I'm sure, but I'd rather look athletic!

And great job, cpontifex!

Actually, to "toning" is the term used to define the process of getting rid of a layer of subcutaneous fat in order to have more developed muscles be visible.

Sorry, I just hate the "t"-word.

I suggest going all-out and developing all muscle areas via compound movement. For example, squats and presses, or lunges and curls. Back exercises and lifts that focus on the shoulder area are great too.

Another thing, if you're really looking to read up on female musculature, I suppose you should try a website with actual articles on it. I'm not sure an idea some person gives you from a forum would suffice (unless the commenter happened to be an expert).

Or, you could try asking someone over at StrongLifts

Hope that helped.

"My question is what should she do and what should she not do? She is thin and her goal is to look good and fit not strong and muscular. For example, I heard that women should avoid working out their front delts to avoid a bulky, rounded shoulder look. I know someone out there will say that she should not avoid any muscles because straightening one area while avoiding another will lead to injury."

If I wasn't in such a good mood today I would rip you a new one but clearly you don't know much about women and weightlifting. First of all, women do not get bulky unless they take some kind of steroid. Yes, when one lifts muscle density increases but that does not mean she is going to look like the hulk. Also, it sounds like she has never lifted before and it will take proper diet, time and effort to see any results. Second, where the hell did you hear that if women lift their front delts they will get "bulky rounded shoulder look?" WTF? haha ridiculous!  Then you say that you "hope to rid the world of one more pink dumbbell theorist." Sorry, friend, but your entire post pretty much sums that theory up. You are right about one thing though... she should work all her muscle groups to avoid an imbalance that could lead to injury.

Original Post by mtobweddingdiet:

"My question is what should she do and what should she not do? She is thin and her goal is to look good and fit not strong and muscular. For example, I heard that women should avoid working out their front delts to avoid a bulky, rounded shoulder look. I know someone out there will say that she should not avoid any muscles because straightening one area while avoiding another will lead to injury."

If I wasn't in such a good mood today I would rip you a new one but clearly you don't know much about women and weightlifting. First of all, women do not get bulky unless they take some kind of steroid. Yes, when one lifts muscle density increases but that does not mean she is going to look like the hulk. Also, it sounds like she has never lifted before and it will take proper diet, time and effort to see any results. Second, where the hell did you hear that if women lift their front delts they will get "bulky rounded shoulder look?" WTF? haha ridiculous!  Then you say that you "hope to rid the world of one more pink dumbbell theorist." Sorry, friend, but your entire post pretty much sums that theory up. You are right about one thing though... she should work all her muscle groups to avoid an imbalance that could lead to injury.

 Actually, she may see results VERY quickly, if she has never lifted before. Then it will balance out. More importantly, it's kind of rude...[no...it's REALLY rude] to put someone down for a post that seems very sincere. Instead of mocking him about his heresay about women's bulk if they work their delts...explain it to him!

Your gf needs to concentrate first on form. Next on total body -compound- workout. Finally, on specific muscles. 

BTW, weights do NOT equal getting larger unless you put the time and nutrition into it..no matter what your goals/gender are.

Actually, I wasn't meaning to be rude at all, fitnessgirll. I was kind of joking around while explaining some facts and trying to stop some sad rumors such as the bulky rounded shoulder look! Please don't be so sensitive. I'm sure Tommy21pmp can handle it. Sorry, Tommy if I offended you. That was not my intention at all. I was being playful in a tuff love kind of way! ha. 

Oh yeah, she will see results from lifting but they will not be huge muscles like some people expect.

Original Post by mtobweddingdiet:

Actually, I wasn't meaning to be rude at all, fitnessgirll. I was kind of joking around while explaining some facts and trying to stop some sad rumors such as the bulky rounded shoulder look! Please don't be so sensitive. I'm sure Tommy21pmp can handle it. Sorry, Tommy if I offended you. That was not my intention at all. I was being playful in a tuff love kind of way! ha. 

Oh yeah, she will see results from lifting but they will not be huge muscles like some people expect.

I'm with you. I wanna punch every person who utters  "...but not get bulky"  when it comes to females and lifting weights

Original Post by tommy21pmp:

Whoever responds must agree that weightlifting increases the size of your muscles. If you do not understand or agree with this concept, please do not reply. Also, I know enough about weightlifting where I will do not need specific exercises unless they are uncommon and not difficult. I am mostly concerned with helping my gf reach her goals and justify the purpose of specific exercises to her. I want to give her sound advice and answer the question of "why am I doing this?" when she asks.

I have never quoted myself in a post but here you go. I have a good background in nutrition, diet, and exercise. I get it.

To clarify my question, there are exercises that I concentrate on and avoid because of my goals. For instance, I do not over work my back because it will give me a gorilla look. I spent extra time on my upper pecs to give my chest a flatter, wider look. I am chunking up my legs a little to not look unproportional. These are the types of things I'm looking for. A specific area that I am focusing on and a reason why I am focusing on it. Just as another poster said "build up your shoulders and not work your obliques so much, so your waist looks smaller and more defined, since that's a look most women want." Thanks Haley, this is the kind of advice I'm looking.

As for mtobweddingdiet, who stated "clearly you don't know much about women and weightlifting,"

I know more than most about weightlifting. I know that most people can't gain muscle and lose fat at the same time and diet is the sole reason for that. I know that my gf who hasn't lifted before can do both for a few months because she's a beginner. I know one women that I see at the gym looks like a dude with huge arms and a giant back while another women at the gym who looks defined but hot and they both lift. I know that female bodybuilding exists and they don't all get huge from steroids and supplements. I know that form is critical for injury prevention and results. I know that the pink dumbbell theory, in less words, states that women should do high reps and low weight. I have my gf doing 3-4 sets of 10-8 reps of heavy weight, opposite of the pink dumbbell theory. I know that I have motivated her to stand in an uncomfortable maze of dudes to lift weights 2-3 times a week. I know that you should never avoid any muscles because that will lead to injury. Most of all, I know that if I thought she would look huge from lifting I wouldn't motivate her to do it. I know and understand the benfefits of weightlifting for women. You guys are like the parents of a D student who gets a B and give them a hard time because it's not an A.

So, don't give me bro-science about diet, weightlifting, and muscle density. As far as I'm concerned, I have helped her to be more knowledgable and given her more know how than 99% of the women in our gym.

I honestly get sound advice from many people on this site and I thank all that have replied and helped. I have received more information and references than I could have found on my own. Thank you guys and gals.

See what happens when you stay away for too long, Tommy? People start confusing you with the bro-tards ;)