seeking therapy?

so i need some advice...

for YEARS i have dealt with low self esteem, bad body issues, bulimia, and general issues with food. i have a love/hate relationship with it. i hate it b/c i see it as making me fat, but i LOVE it. i could never go without it. i've tried several things to overcome my negative issues towards body image, weight, self esteem, etc. but nothing has really changed. it's really starting to put a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend, future fiance hopefully. he feels i should see a therapist, b/c he doesnt know what to do/or say, and honestly, neither do I. i think it's gotten to a point where i do need to see someone who is completely unbiased towards me. Otherwise, i would HATE to live the rest of my life (am only 23) thinking about nothing else but how much i want to change my body, constantly thinking about weight, and continuously falling off/getting back on the wagon. there is so much more to live for!!!

so anyway, what are some things i should look for in a therapist? anyone on here ever been to one? i am kind of scared to go....need some help please.

Please? Anyone?

I think seeking a therapist is a good idea given what you've described - such a long tussle with food and self-image shouldn't be any more drawn out than it has been. And then factoring the strain it's putting on your relationship... yes, do seek a therapist. You can ask your GP to refer you in most cases, if you don't know where to start looking.

While you do look for professional help, though, you can also work on your self-esteem at home. First, try taking up a hobby you have always wanted to do that DOES NOT involve (a) food or (b) weight. Obviously, it can be something you've done in the past that you enjoyed or do already but want to take up a notch. How about knitting? Sewing? Painting? Jewellery crafting? Auditioning for a local play production? Any colleges or groups that teach a holistic class like massage? Or something like bellydancing, boxing, a martial art - anything like that.

As well as this, write yourself a list of five to ten things you like about yourself, no matter how big or small you feel they may be, and put it above your mirror or a place you will readily see it every day. Add to it as time goes on, and aim to have it as influenced by what YOU like about you as much as possible rather than people chipping in. The point is, to write it down, you have to be believing it.

I wish you luck finding help, though.