Is it just me, or does it seem like people at gyms are becoming more and more un-social??
I consider myself to be a pretty social person, but when I take a look around me at the gym everyone seems to be involved in their own little world and dont bother to chat or say hi to anybody. Has anyone else experienced this? I know the Ipod's a great thing ( I own one too) but everywhere I turn people have them on, kind of saying don't bother me I'm listening to my music. I guess it just bothers me because I like to talk to people and everyone around me just seems unsocial or dont care to engage in small talk while working out. I live in Texas and would like to know if its this way in other states..
Not to be all uppity about it, but we're not all extraverts. I'm an introvert, and find being social taxing unless I know someone really well. My close friends are wonderful, but they got to be such good friends precisely because they're aware of and sensitive to my introverted nature. They know that I need lots of alone time, respect that, and don't take it personally.
Maybe it's a generalization, but I imagine that people who insist on talking to me at the gym (or insist that being social at the gym is necessary) are advertising the fact that they lack those sensitivities. All the more if they're judgmental about my "antisocial" (I'm not antisocial, I'm just quiet) nature. I'm sure they'd be a good friend for someone, but probably not for me.
but have you stopped for a moment to think that you could've passed up an opportunity to meet a really good friend?
Of course you might miss an opportunity to meet a friend. But by that token, I shouldn't sleep, because there might be a really interesting person that I could be meeting if only I had been awake.
Original Post by jorge_h:
Wow, I seem to have struck a nerve with a lot of you on this one.... just goes to show how much we care about being social. I understand that the gym, grocery store, banks , etc. are places where you might not care to talk to anyone but have you stopped for a moment to think that you could've passed up an opportunity to meet a really good friend? Most of you say that there's a time and place for these kinds of things but come on, some of the best things come from where you least expect them.
Why is this so important to you?
Original Post by turnthequietup:
"Conversation rape" is never leaving my vocabulary now!
I don't mind talking to people at my gym. There's a handful of amateur powerlifters that train at the gym I go to - they're about the only folks I make conversation with, because we're usually occupying the same spot in the weight room, doing the same things. As long as somebody has the presence of mind to talk to me in between sets (which they do), it's all good, but there's nothing more annoying than somebody rambling at you while you're waiting to start your next set!
Don't wait. Just start.
I also don't mind talking at the gym. I sometimes initiate it. But I go to a very small gym where everyone more or less knows everyone. Most conversation is gym related however.
I'm much more annoyed by the people who stand just outside the door and smoke completely unaware, or more likely unconcerned, that the smoke is drifting directly into the gym.
Original Post by jorge_h:
Wow, I seem to have struck a nerve with a lot of you on this one.... just goes to show how much we care about being social. I understand that the gym, grocery store, banks , etc. are places where you might not care to talk to anyone but have you stopped for a moment to think that you could've passed up an opportunity to meet a really good friend? Most of you say that there's a time and place for these kinds of things but come on, some of the best things come from where you least expect them.
Simple economics. Many of us have chosen to use our gym time for intense training so we can use our time outside the gym on other pursuits we value (eg: family, school, work, hobbies, other activities where we can meet new people, etc). Maybe finding new friends at the gym is not as valuable to us as these other opportunities.
You're making a big deal about nothing. If this bothers you so much, perhaps you should either switch gyms or pick another activity. It sounds like you're more interested in socializing than actually training.
...and you aren't going to change how I feel about ppl chatting me up at the gym! :)
Working at a gym, it's my job to be friendly and chat but I have to admit, when I work out, I want to be left alone! I have so little time to myself, as it is...I find it very interesting observing people in the gym...there are the power lifters that do more walking and posing in front of mirrors than they do lifting [they would be there at least an hr less a day if they would just stop kissing their own as$]...then there are the people that are there in their fancy workout clothes, matching everything, hair done, make up ON, giggling and spending the majority of their time at the smoothie bar....basically there to get a date. We've got the dirty old men making their rounds with the younger ladies [or at least trying to! ha!] Being in the LA area and having a few clients that are celebrities of varying genre's we also have a few members that are specifically there to see [stalk?] a celebrity - they don't think we realize this but we DO!! [I'm sure them wearing the I heart -insert famous name - tshirts is a clue, eh? haha] They will walk around with a dumbell in their hand, for hours...of course, we have the serious workout members [which still make up the majority of our members] but watching all the interaction and lack of interaction certainly is a trip!
if i can hold a conversation then i aint working hard enough. a little chit chat is fine, like around the reception area or if im stretching.
i don't know about the gym, but over the past week, when i was walking the seawall a lot because my running clothes and shoes were in a moving container somewhere, i noticed that almost all of the runners looked miserable. the walkers were smiling, chatting, laughing, but the runners just scowled. i made up my mind that when i started running again, i was not going to be one of those miserable runners.
i have to admit, i'm sometimes a little miserable in the first ten minutes, but after that, i'm usually smiling, and i don't mind stopping to chat :)
Ok, so I'm coming to the conclusion that its just me....
Conclusion: I'll mind my own business when going to the gym, and wait for the "appropriate" time and place to engage in social endeavors. I'll just have to live with the fact that this is the way our society operates these days. I have lost over 50 lbs., and I didn't have to seclude myself in my own little bubble to do it. I'm not bothered by it, I just think its sad, but will respect your views and opinions on this.
Amethystgirl,
You have no control over sleeping, our body needs that, you dont get a choice on that. If I died 10 yrs ago I wouldn't be able to meet anyone either, period. What I'm saying is that you make a conscious choice of not talking to people under certain circumstances.
My body needs to work out too. And if a workout means lifting at certain intervals or concentrating on running (or even listening to my ipod to keep my rhythm and motivation), then having someone try to talk to me during that time is as inconvenient as someone trying to strike up a conversation while I'm asleep.
Some activities are conducive to chit chat. Some aren't. Eating can be a good time to chat with someone, but if you are out to dinner with friends and a stranger stopped by and tried to chat, that would be considered rude. I've been in classes at a gym, and afterwards there is general chatting, as people go to the locker room, which is completely acceptible - chatting during the class is not.
That would be ME, as I hate when I am in the zone and someone talks to me. It is okay to smile, nod, or say 'hi', but that is about all. It is my personal time and I have a goal-in-mind. Those 'chatters' need to go elsewhere - that is what bars and coffee shops are for.
The U.S. is a lot more individualistic than just about any other country and as a result, it's much more acceptable to not interact with others in almost any situation.
If the gym were like a library, they'd post signs saying "no talking" or "Please keep conversations to a minimum volume so as not to bother other patrons" and the people who work there would shush people when they talk too loud or too much.
:)
Original Post by jpoage:
I don't want to socialize at the gym either.
I also don't like to socialize at the grocery store, the bank, the doctor's office or any other place I happen to be surrounded by strangers while trying to carry out a specific task. I'm not rude - I smile a lot and will answer/respond - but I don't want to talk.
That said, I'm slightly anti-social and can get pretty anxious in public places. But I'm a helluva dancer! Ha!
First of all, the phrase "conversation rape" is awesome and I'm going to use it :)
I agree with the above poster. For example, I went to get my haircut yesterday. I don't give a crap about that hair stylist's life, what she has going on and she insists upon asking me question after question. I don't go to get my haircut to talk, I go to get my hair cut.
hey jorge - what gym you goin to? just curious...
im in austin too but i dont work out at a gym.
i think you totally lost this thread dude. im introverted too but find this to be a rather sad state of affairs. YALL SUCK! (kidding)
Gym conversations is one of the reasons I don't belong to a gym. I don't want anyone to look at me let alone talk to me while I'm working out. Therefore I choose to workout at home and in my neighborhood/local parks (running).
I think amethystgirl is correct with her analogy of going out to eat. There is a time and place for everything, even at the gym. Locker rooms are fine to strike up a convo [as long as you don't just hop on over to someone naked who will more than likely be clearly bothered that you are asking them how they like the weather outside!] Also, those stools by the smoothie bars, they are there for a reason. A great place to chat after a workout. Most people, of course, not all...need to isolate their thoughts and concentrate on their workout routine. I know I do. Being stopped for idle chit chat, whether it be by a stranger or friend, is just not acceptable. You wouldn't go up to a doctor while they were performing surgery and just start yapping, right? If you joined a gym to meet people AND hopefully, get fit, then they both can be accomplished. It's just knowing the right time. Because of my schedule, I tend to workout during hours that most people are still sound asleep but it's great bc as I stated before, I cannot stand to be interrupted in what already is a limited time.
Okay. When I go to the gym I have a workout schedule that's like clockwork for me. It was difficult at first, since life interferes with even the best plans. I have a lot of responsibilities in life and things to do. My gym time is completely mine! I plan head.... That way I have that time to use there at the gym. I do not let the atmosphere at the gym cause interference with my plan. It's unacceptable/shameful for me to waste my time there. Every minute is already planned ahead of time to use there. If I choose to talk to someone at the gym that means: My workouts converts over into something to fit their schedule.
It's a thanks but no thanks sorta deal at the gym. People that like to talk at the gym need to consider that in advance. Talk to yourself/Bring someone to talk to/ Talk on your cell with an ear piece/etc
(I shouldn't have to pretend to be listening to my ipod intensely to get people to bugger off. Seriously? Seriously. :) I'm a nice/polite girl when anyone attempts friendly exchanges. However, that doesn't mean that I'm suddenly available/free to chit chat. Some people refuse to take a friendly hint/vibe. I strongly recommend people create their own workout schedule. I dislike when random people try to interfere with mine.)
Gym talkers/stalkers need to start their own little club/groups. Filled with people that also like to talk at the gym. That way the aren't scoping the gym for a victim. Put up a club flyer in your gym! Someone may see it and want talkie workout buddies. I'd make that clear in the flyer that you want to start a chatty group. The reason being that some people aren't talkers in general. Some just aren't chatters at the gym. They would enjoy to have a workout buddy to leave/arrive at the gym with though. That way you could chit chat about stuff before/after, etc.
... Again, this is only my personal opinion/suggestion.
*completes licensure paperwork and 5-year business plan for new talking and non-talking gyms*
is it just me, or is this thread incredibly sad?
we're social animals. talking to each other shouldn't be a crime. i understand not wanting to talk sometimes, but if i want to be left alone, i go to a place where i can be alone; i don't go to a public forum and then get bitter when people try to interact with me.
