Is it just me, or does it seem like people at gyms are becoming more and more un-social??

I consider myself to be a pretty social person, but when I take a look around me at the gym everyone seems to be involved in their own little world and dont bother to chat or say hi to anybody.  Has anyone else experienced this? I know the Ipod's a great thing ( I own one too) but everywhere I turn people have them on, kind of saying don't bother me I'm listening to my music.  I guess it just bothers me because I like to talk to people and everyone around me just seems unsocial or dont care to engage in small talk while working out.  I live in Texas and would like to know if its this way in other states..

Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

*completes licensure paperwork and 5-year business plan for new talking and non-talking gyms*

 

 LoL! That's hilarious.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

is it just me, or is this thread incredibly sad?

we're social animals.  talking to each other shouldn't be a crime.  i understand not wanting to talk sometimes, but if i want to be left alone, i go to a place where i can be alone; i don't go to a public forum and then get bitter when people try to interact with me.

i agree that it's kind of sad, pg

i'm much more extraverted, so it feels like rejection when others won't talk

for all that introverts complain about how awful it is to interact with others, for extraverts, it's awful to be ignored.

i tend to not talk to people at the gym.  i did when i took a water class, but that was different.  i mainly don't talk to people because nobody will make eye contact and clearly want to be left alone. 

i'm not oblivious.  i can read body language.  you don't want any chat, you won't get any.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

is it just me, or is this thread incredibly sad?

we're social animals.  talking to each other shouldn't be a crime.  i understand not wanting to talk sometimes, but if i want to be left alone, i go to a place where i can be alone; i don't go to a public forum and then get bitter when people try to interact with me.

Talking isn't the crime...ignoring the polite social cues that the person you're talking to isn't interested is a crime.  A polite nod or hello is a courtesy, but trying to interrupt someone's activities in favor of yours is rude whether it be talking or cutting them off in swim lanes.  When a person is in the appropriate place for the activities that they're doing, hijacking their activity in favor of yours is rude.

If I'm in the mood to chit chat instead of workout, then I give off an entirely different set of signals.  I actually respond with more than a polite hello or nod and ask questions about the person and introduce my own conversational chit chat.  When I'm not in the mood I bury myself in my ipod, my book, or my own little universe inside of my head. 

yeah and not to mention if im doing intervals on the treadmill, any distractions can be very dangerous. ive seen it happen to a couple of people on the treadmill, it aint pretty and looks very sore. and if you are holding a heavy weight and need to concentrate on your form, distractions are dangerous as well. or im on a program that uses very strict rest periods, there is a lot of science behind the amount of time used during rest periods that work quite well for many people. again conversation can be a distraction and will affect the workout. 

i dont see what the problem is really, i have a little gym friend we only wave hi to each other if either of us are working out, and then we usually chit chat in the ladies room or general area. what's the big deal about only talking to people when its convenient?? i seriously like to workout very hard, i love sweating, heck i some times even hold 'it' to finish a particular set or what not.

Original Post by smwhipple:

Original Post by pgeorgian:

is it just me, or is this thread incredibly sad?

we're social animals.  talking to each other shouldn't be a crime.  i understand not wanting to talk sometimes, but if i want to be left alone, i go to a place where i can be alone; i don't go to a public forum and then get bitter when people try to interact with me.

Talking isn't the crime...ignoring the polite social cues that the person you're talking to isn't interested is a crime.  A polite nod or hello is a courtesy, but trying to interrupt someone's activities in favor of yours is rude whether it be talking or cutting them off in swim lanes.  When a person is in the appropriate place for the activities that they're doing, hijacking their activity in favor of yours is rude.

If I'm in the mood to chit chat instead of workout, then I give off an entirely different set of signals.  I actually respond with more than a polite hello or nod and ask questions about the person and introduce my own conversational chit chat.  When I'm not in the mood I bury myself in my ipod, my book, or my own little universe inside of my head. 

 ^Exactly. I second what Smwhipple said above!

Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

Original Post by pgeorgian:

is it just me, or is this thread incredibly sad?

we're social animals.  talking to each other shouldn't be a crime.  i understand not wanting to talk sometimes, but if i want to be left alone, i go to a place where i can be alone; i don't go to a public forum and then get bitter when people try to interact with me.

i agree that it's kind of sad, pg

i'm much more extraverted, so it feels like rejection when others won't talk

for all that introverts complain about how awful it is to interact with others, for extraverts, it's awful to be ignored.

see, i'm an introvert, but nobody would guess it.  i talk to strangers all the time, strike up conversations, say "good morning" (or whatever) to people i meet on the street.  when people avoid eye contact because--gods forbid--they might be forced to smile or say "hello," i think that's sad.

when i want to be left alone, it's easy enough to arrange that without being antisocial.

well pg, there's nothing wrong with smiling or just waving in the gym, id definitely smile & wave at you . 

but talking about the weather to me while im huffing & puffing around 80% of my max heart rate while trying to keep my frantic pace on the treadmill is a different story. the little voice inside my head doesn't even get my attention then & that's saying something.

i agree with pg.  this whole thread is very sad.   i personally dont like being talked to when i work out, but i wouldnt get upset if someone tried.  even if its an inconvenience we should all be happy that there are people out there willing to offer up a friendly conversation for no reason at all.  its annoying to be talked to in the gym, but at the same time i like that the gym is somewhat of a social place.

edit:  if someone tries to talk to you while you are clearly right in the middle of some vigorous workout, then thats just bad timing in general.  i dont think that means the gym shouldnt be a social place.  and the term "conversation rape" is just way too overdramatic.

I'm socially broken and not to mention terrified of any kind of social interaction that I avoid it like an incoming tornado in the area. =P I'm just really bad at having a conversation/being normal/social... I always studder, embarass myself or sound completely stupid. I'm not only a clumsy person physically but so is my tongue. T_T

I don't go to a gym because I don't wanna be near alot of people. =/ I avoid the checkout area (LOADS of people around there) when shopping too til I have to cash out.

Argh.

And you social butterfly-type people scare me. T_T I don't hate you, I like you and envy you but you frighten me! :P

Jessicab, glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way...... was starting to think I was alone on this.. I agree that if you're in the middle of a vigorous workout then chatting is a no-no, but I didn't mean to that extreme, I just meant people being a little more socially involved in general, thats all

maybe this speaks more to what's wrong with gyms, and less to what's wrong with people.  getting a bunch of people in a big room to not interact is pretty unnatural.

i am near detroit and it is the same here....the thing is, is alot of people dont have a bunch of time so getting in and then out is a necessity....what bothers me are the people who stand around talking on their cell phones, they just take up space and get in the way.....if you want to talk on the phone go to the lobby...

another good argument for vhemt.

Original Post by nevarren:

Not to be all uppity about it, but we're not all extraverts.  I'm an introvert, and find being social taxing unless I know someone really well.  My close friends are wonderful, but they got to be such good friends precisely because they're aware of and sensitive to my introverted nature.  They know that I need lots of alone time, respect that, and don't take it personally.

Maybe it's a generalization, but I imagine that people who insist on talking to me at the gym (or insist that being social at the gym is necessary) are advertising the fact that they lack those sensitivities.  All the more if they're judgmental about my "antisocial" (I'm not antisocial, I'm just quiet) nature.  I'm sure they'd be a good friend for someone, but probably not for me.

I find there is really very little understanding in the world for introverts in general.  It really is not personal, it's not about snobbery, it's not about narcissism or self-involvement.  It is draining and physically and emotionally tiring for us to talk to people, anyone, ESPECIALLY strangers. 

It's like we have a battery energy to socialize, and all day it drains out the more you socialize.  When it's gone, it's gone.  It's nobody's fault.  You need time to recharge.  Now extroverts on the other hand fill up their batteries BY socializing, which is why it is so difficult to be ignored.  Nothing is charging your battery.  You just gotta find some people who are willing to be your charger.

I hope that makes you feel better.

Original Post by huggitbear:

Original Post by nevarren:

Not to be all uppity about it, but we're not all extraverts.  I'm an introvert, and find being social taxing unless I know someone really well.  My close friends are wonderful, but they got to be such good friends precisely because they're aware of and sensitive to my introverted nature.  They know that I need lots of alone time, respect that, and don't take it personally.

Maybe it's a generalization, but I imagine that people who insist on talking to me at the gym (or insist that being social at the gym is necessary) are advertising the fact that they lack those sensitivities.  All the more if they're judgmental about my "antisocial" (I'm not antisocial, I'm just quiet) nature.  I'm sure they'd be a good friend for someone, but probably not for me.

I find there is really very little understanding in the world for introverts in general.  It really is not personal, it's not about snobbery, it's not about narcissism or self-involvement.  It is draining and physically and emotionally tiring for us to talk to people, anyone, ESPECIALLY strangers. 

It's like we have a battery energy to socialize, and all day it drains out the more you socialize.  When it's gone, it's gone.  It's nobody's fault.  You need time to recharge.  Now extroverts on the other hand fill up their batteries BY socializing, which is why it is so difficult to be ignored.  Nothing is charging your battery.  You just gotta find some people who are willing to be your charger.

I hope that makes you feel better.

 ^ this, this this this THIS!!! YES!! EXACTLY!!!!

Original Post by octo-luv:

well pg, there's nothing wrong with smiling or just waving in the gym, id definitely smile & wave at you . 

I was thinking about this the other day, and the people who say that they rely on cues from the other person to decide if it's appropriate to start talking to them.

Say I'm on the elliptical, doing my thing. Someone smiles at me. I smile back, either as an automatic response or because I'm feeling friendly. They take this to mean that I want to talk, but I don't! I don't want to talk - and now by being casually friendly, they think I've given them the ok to interrupt my workout. So now they are standing next to me, and I am faced with a decision - stop my workout (or at least turn off my ipod) to be polite, possibly ruining the rhythm I had finally gotten into, or ignore them.

But if I hadn't smiled in the first place, they wouldn't have had tried to talk, and instead would be thinking "my, there are some unfriendly people at this gym."

So I can either be rude to start with and ignore a smile, or I can unintentionally invite someone to interrupt me during my workout, which for my own personal needs, should be done without interruption, and be faced with the possibility of being even ruder than had I just ignored the smile from the beginning.

Which would you have me do?

Original Post by huggitbear:

Original Post by nevarren:

Not to be all uppity about it, but we're not all extraverts.  I'm an introvert, and find being social taxing unless I know someone really well.  My close friends are wonderful, but they got to be such good friends precisely because they're aware of and sensitive to my introverted nature.  They know that I need lots of alone time, respect that, and don't take it personally.

Maybe it's a generalization, but I imagine that people who insist on talking to me at the gym (or insist that being social at the gym is necessary) are advertising the fact that they lack those sensitivities.  All the more if they're judgmental about my "antisocial" (I'm not antisocial, I'm just quiet) nature.  I'm sure they'd be a good friend for someone, but probably not for me.

I find there is really very little understanding in the world for introverts in general.  It really is not personal, it's not about snobbery, it's not about narcissism or self-involvement.  It is draining and physically and emotionally tiring for us to talk to people, anyone, ESPECIALLY strangers. 

It's like we have a battery energy to socialize, and all day it drains out the more you socialize.  When it's gone, it's gone.  It's nobody's fault.  You need time to recharge.  Now extroverts on the other hand fill up their batteries BY socializing, which is why it is so difficult to be ignored.  Nothing is charging your battery.  You just gotta find some people who are willing to be your charger.

I hope that makes you feel better.

i think that sums it up nicely. i'm a moderate introvert, had to move around a lot when i was in school so i had to kind of be less of an introvert. but it is draining at times, i seriously need my quite time if not i go a bit mental. i wish i could afford to and have space for my own home gym in my little apartment, but i don't, so if i want a good workout with weights i have to go to the gym.

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

Original Post by huggitbear:

Original Post by nevarren:

Not to be all uppity about it, but we're not all extraverts.  I'm an introvert, and find being social taxing unless I know someone really well.  My close friends are wonderful, but they got to be such good friends precisely because they're aware of and sensitive to my introverted nature.  They know that I need lots of alone time, respect that, and don't take it personally.

Maybe it's a generalization, but I imagine that people who insist on talking to me at the gym (or insist that being social at the gym is necessary) are advertising the fact that they lack those sensitivities.  All the more if they're judgmental about my "antisocial" (I'm not antisocial, I'm just quiet) nature.  I'm sure they'd be a good friend for someone, but probably not for me.

I find there is really very little understanding in the world for introverts in general.  It really is not personal, it's not about snobbery, it's not about narcissism or self-involvement.  It is draining and physically and emotionally tiring for us to talk to people, anyone, ESPECIALLY strangers. 

It's like we have a battery energy to socialize, and all day it drains out the more you socialize.  When it's gone, it's gone.  It's nobody's fault.  You need time to recharge.  Now extroverts on the other hand fill up their batteries BY socializing, which is why it is so difficult to be ignored.  Nothing is charging your battery.  You just gotta find some people who are willing to be your charger.

I hope that makes you feel better.

 ^ this, this this this THIS!!! YES!! EXACTLY!!!!

Yes, THIS ^^^^ ALL of it!

I am a very nice person, there for friends in trouble, even friendly - to a degree - on line at the supermarket, etc. I was a bartender for many years and darn good at it, but after 4 days of being behind the bar, talking, socializing, serving, etc, nonstop, I would be home almost constantly for 3 days straight, just to refuel, recharge, become ME again. This carries into today. I still have a job dealing with people, but the schedule is my own and I can make it work so I get "refueling days" a few times a week. When I must go out during this time, it makes me crazy if people say more than a few words to me. It has nothing to do with them. Or YOU. It's the way I was built and thankfully I'm not alone. So glad I found you guys, it's a little like coming home to someone who understands - but please don't talk to me today, I refueling!

Original Post by surfkitty:

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

Original Post by huggitbear:

Original Post by nevarren:

Not to be all uppity about it, but we're not all extraverts.  I'm an introvert, and find being social taxing unless I know someone really well.  My close friends are wonderful, but they got to be such good friends precisely because they're aware of and sensitive to my introverted nature.  They know that I need lots of alone time, respect that, and don't take it personally.

Maybe it's a generalization, but I imagine that people who insist on talking to me at the gym (or insist that being social at the gym is necessary) are advertising the fact that they lack those sensitivities.  All the more if they're judgmental about my "antisocial" (I'm not antisocial, I'm just quiet) nature.  I'm sure they'd be a good friend for someone, but probably not for me.

I find there is really very little understanding in the world for introverts in general.  It really is not personal, it's not about snobbery, it's not about narcissism or self-involvement.  It is draining and physically and emotionally tiring for us to talk to people, anyone, ESPECIALLY strangers. 

It's like we have a battery energy to socialize, and all day it drains out the more you socialize.  When it's gone, it's gone.  It's nobody's fault.  You need time to recharge.  Now extroverts on the other hand fill up their batteries BY socializing, which is why it is so difficult to be ignored.  Nothing is charging your battery.  You just gotta find some people who are willing to be your charger.

I hope that makes you feel better.

 ^ this, this this this THIS!!! YES!! EXACTLY!!!!

Yes, THIS ^^^^ ALL of it!

 Agreed, for the Nth time.  I'm an introvert at heart.  Especially around strangers.  I don't care if a big gym full of people is supposed to be a social situation or not.  MOST people don't go to the gym to socialize.

I love being around people, but I'm not crazy about talking (unless you get some beers in me).  I prefer to sit and observe others and listen to their conversations and the conversations of those around me.  But at the gym, that's not really possible, so I'd prefer to just keep to myself.

This is totally strange too.  Because I love talking on the forums and if you get me started, I'll post to anyone.  I guess in real life and face-to-face, it's just more draining for me.

Peaches I'm right with you. I was just thinking that here on CC and other forums, I do interact pretty easily. I think it's because we can come and go at will. If "the drain" starts happening, I just get offline, no insulting anyone by suddenly taking off or shutting off, because I have to. No one judging me for being snobby, above-it-all or whatever, which I am not. I was just told recently, by a GOOD friend, that she sees me as an observer. True. Interaction can be rough on me at times, but to quote Peter Sellers "I like to watch". I haven't gone to the gym much because of the socialization, too much interaction really distracts me from my workout and other life stuff. A home treadmill was an absolute revelation and now I bought a few other small pieces of gym equipment and it feels so good to work out without constant worrying that that person I just smiled at is gonna come over. I swear OP, pgeorgian and others, it's not sad, it's not antisocial, really. We're just a little different. I think we CAN all just get along!