Self esteem crisis! help!

Does anyone have any tips for increasing my self esteem now that I am gaining weight? I went from about 108 to around 118 (at 5'7")in a relativly short amount of time (like 2 1/2 weeks) due to my body's starved state. Now I feel like a blow up doll. I don't think its bloat, unfortunately. I know my body needs this extra fat/weight, but I think I look gross and ED is telling me to go back to 105 (my lowest weight). Help me! How can I love myself?

Maybe you could go shopping for some new clothes that will flatter your more healthy size? Or how about make up, some fun earrings, etc? Physical beauty is not simply about weight.. it's about the image that you present with the body you have--so maybe have some fun with that image. Invest in some moisturizer to make your skin nice and soft? Or learn how to do your hair in a new style. :D

You're doing a good job of ignoring your ED! Congratulations on that. Is there anyone that you trust to talk to about this? Sometimes confirmation from a close friend/family member can help boost your confidence immensely.

Thanks for the good advice! But I haven't really told anyone about my eating issues. I was never diagnosed with an ED, but I recognize now that I was exhibiting extremely anorexic behavior. I lost a lot of weight and lied about why I lost it. So no one really knows about it and now that I am recovering, I see not reason to worry them all...

I kind of wish I had told them. It might have been easier that way.

You are stronger at 118 I'm sure than you were at your lowest weight. Think about how much better you can now do things that you love (biking, running, walking, anything!). It's expensive, but if you feel like splurging maybe get a massage or something spa-esque? Besides, 118 is still quite thin. I guarantee you that you are the only person who thinks you look like a blow up doll.

It sounds weird, but try doing yoga or pilates, or even just some light stretches or breathing exercises. Something that forces you to focus on your body, especially the more spiritual side of you. It helps to get in touch with your new form, and although it may sound a little spacey, getting to know yourself as a separate entity, as a body and a machine that can do certain actions that yield certain results and feel a certain way really helps me to feel more in tune with this strange new shape. Also, try going to healthyplace.com and reading some of the articles on there. Some great, really affirming stuff that definitely gives me a boost! 

Thanks for the advice. I've been saving a little bit of money, so I think I'll go on a splurge and buy myself some clothes! :) I might try some yoga too, sounds like fun!

ponee11 i hav e the exact same problem. 5'7, 17 years old and i dropped to 105. never officially diagnosed with an ED, hid why i was loosing weight, over exercised to the extreme. now i've gained to 115lbs, and sometimes it just al seems too much especially when i can't afford to buy new clothes to fit me now. but think about how much healthy your body is. i get comments from people too who tell me i have the glow back in my skin, my hair shines again, and from personaly experience i feel fantastic. my energy is up, im not tired all the time, i don't look lskeltal, i am beginning to look like a women again and not a boy in girls clothing. its really hard and im till struggling, i can't go a day without exercising, i count calories religiously and have my binges too. but everyday we're closer... we can do this. i started lifting weights more too!! it makes me feel strong and i don't mean lifting small weights either i mean hard core lifting heavy. you feel invinceable, you see muscles and since muscle takes up less space than fat, you look smaller but your weight is higher sicne msucle weighs more. its a great feeling. i could probably take on a bunch of the guys in my gym.

GOOD LUCK!!!

I say again and again, I love to find kindred spirits here on CC to help through recovery. Maybe I'll start lifting weights and I won't feel so fat...

Thanks for the great advice and comradship! :)

I have low self esteem, and I am slowly getting better at being "good" to me..I wake up every morning, go in the bathroom and look in the mirror, and no matter how bad I look, I say I LOVE YOU JENNIFER..I know it may sound silly, but its working for me..Also, maybe you should talk to someone about the ED..I wish you the best!

 

Jen

I do this too Jennifer before I get into the shower....at first I would cry and hate doing it, but now I love to rush to the mirror and let myself know just how amazing I am!!

Keep pushing...you all are on the right track...and hopefully thinking happy thoughts!

Oh my gosh. Thanks you guys SO MUCH. This site has helped me so much in increasing my self-esteem. I will go right now to the mirror, tell myself how awesome I am, and tell ED to go jump in a lake, becaue I don't need him. Not anymore.