I was wondering if any one else here suffers or has suffered from bad self-esteem and why you think that your self- esteem is so bad. Is there anything that you do to try to increase it?
I have really bad self- esteem and I am not really sure why it is so bad, but I am trying to increase it.
well, first off, you look lovely in your pictures. and i'm not saying that to raise your self-esteem or anything. if it wasnt true i wouldnt say it.
and i've gotta say, the reason my self esteem is so horrid lately is because i used to be skinnier and miss having people commenting on my thinness. i also now have to deal with SLIGHT muffin top that NOONE else (probably) notices. as well as the constant reminder of my thighs touching.
i'm actually trying to increase my self esteem by loosing weight. PLUS if i weighed less, i wouldnt be expected to row as hard for crew. so much less seems to be expected of me when i weigh less.
bleh, so for me its really about my little bit of pudge that noone else notices.
and
i probably should raise it by listening to compliments people give me, even if i think they're lying. i'm constantly doubting people's sincerity.
Sometimes I think that low self-esteem is a way of over-compensating. If you constantly tell yourself that you're rubbish then no one can accuse you of being egotistical or having an inflated opinion of yourself. If you're really afraid of that then sometimes it feels like the only way to avoid it is to constantly berate yourself for not being good enough.
It seems ridiculous, but even something as simple as saying "I look pretty good" or "I'm quite a nice person" can make it sound like you're full of yourself, even if those statements are true.
see my "self-esteem help :)" post.
Writing in a journal really helps, try not focusing so much on the things you think are wrong or bad about yourself and focus on all the positives. :)
I've had bad self-esteem b/c all my life I've been trying to make everyone around me happy by living my life based on what people think of me. Now that I'm 24, I'm realizing that it is quite impossible and extremely exhausting. I'm going one day at a time doing what I want to do, wear what I want to wear, and living life how I want to live it. It's even simple stuff like, I want a new purse but I'm afraid since I just bought one (I'm an addict ;) ) I'm going to hear critisicm from people around me. Well, it's cute, it's cheap, and I'll use both new purses I got. Lol.. I know it sounds weird.. and I have more examples.. but I just know that I can't make everyone happy...
I also have to start being better about when I don't make someone happy or do something someone doesn't agree with; not everyone is going to agree with what I do with/in my life. I'm not going to turn into some selfish jerk, but I can't be worrying about everyone else's feelings and emotions when I don't feel my own.. ya know? I'd really like to tone up and lose like 5 lbs but am afraid of what people will say to me since I'm in pretty good shape... but I'm trying to not care. I lift weights frequently and I eat a lot and very healthy.. so I don't know why I'm so worried about people commenting if I lose a few pounds....
Not sure if this is the kind of answer you were looking for, but it's my interepretation ;)
I do voluntary work with young people, probably much younger than you. Some of them already have quite low self-esteem and their first response to anything new is usually... 'I can't do that'. Whether it's something that's innate or whether they're not encouraged at home, I don't know. But part of what I do is to show them that they 'can do' things if they try hard.... and then praise them for trying and/or succeeding.
Another area these kids seem to struggle with is when it's a case of comparison. They're 'not as good'.. as other kids. Or they think they're not. Again, I try to encourage them to find the things they are good at.... everyone has something, it's just a question of finding out what that is.
You can waste quite a lot of time trying to work out why your self-esteem is poor ... it's easy to blame parents/the media/teachers but it doesn't really get you very far. Conversely you can really change your life for the better if you set out to challenge yourself, stop caring so much what others think and find your own niche in life.
Original Post by international_chick:
well, first off, you look lovely in your pictures. and i'm not saying that to raise your self-esteem or anything. if it wasnt true i wouldnt say it.
and i've gotta say, the reason my self esteem is so horrid lately is because i used to be skinnier and miss having people commenting on my thinness. i also now have to deal with SLIGHT muffin top that NOONE else (probably) notices. as well as the constant reminder of my thighs touching.
i'm actually trying to increase my self esteem by loosing weight. PLUS if i weighed less, i wouldnt be expected to row as hard for crew. so much less seems to be expected of me when i weigh less.
bleh, so for me its really about my little bit of pudge that noone else notices.
and
i probably should raise it by listening to compliments people give me, even if i think they're lying. i'm constantly doubting people's sincerity.
I would like to say thank you. But I have the same problem as you. I am the only one who even notices that I have a gained a little bit of weight, but I feel terrible about it. That is why I am trying to lose a little bit of weight.
I know what it's like to suffer from low self esteem . To put it lightly- I'm a perfectionist. Nothing I do is good enough. This eventually led to my anorexia. When I cave and binge, like any normal human being does sometimes, I feel as though I need to punish myself. I stay up all night and don't allow myself any food throughout the day. Not even a piece of fruit! My self-esteem is REALLY bad. the important thing is that you're not alone, just remember that. And PLEASE don't try anorexia. It's a cage you can't escape from. Not only that, but you're so young, so beautiful, and odds are you're still growing. You're a woman, and so you need that little bit of extra weight on you. I know, this is coming from death on legs, and you may feel as though I don't know anything about accepting myself, but the truth is I used to be one of the most self-confident girls in my work, school, and social circle. I miss that girl! SO PLEASE don't try to lose weight! Right now, at this age, we need to have fun, grow, live, laugh , and enjoy. I know, I know, you're probably thinking" What are you talking about? You're the anorexic!" And my answer to that is: Exactly.
