Self-perception (and a Matrix reference)

I'm sure most people have seen The Matrix. When Neo is first learning about how the Matrix works, he asks Morpheus about his hair, realizing that his physical self has a shaved head and those gross plugs running down his spine, but he seems normal in the Matrix (the way he remembers himself to be before he followed the white rabbit). Morpheus tells him that he appears in the Matrix as he perceives himself to be, not as he actually is (which is probably a good thing, because the physical Neo has no muscle tone and wouldn’t be very good at fighting agents!).

Does anyone else feel like they have a self-perception that is different from the way they actually are? When I was at my most overweight in college (185 lbs), I still saw myself as around 165, like I was in high school. Over the years I have watched my weight jump around on the scale but I’ve never felt like I actually appear different. Even when I see photos of myself from when I was 185, it doesn’t really register that I was overweight.

Now I am trying to get down to 147 (currently at 160), a weight I have never weighed as a full-grown adult (I think I weighed around 145 when I was a good 3 inches shorter than I am now). I feel like because I perceive myself to be a 165 lb woman, I am getting in my own way because I can’t imagine myself ever getting down to 147! It just doesn’t seem possible. Even though I am 160 now, I feel like it is just a temporary fluctuation because I didn’t eat enough yesterday, worked out really hard or whatever and I will pop right back up to 165 tomorrow (even though I’ve been below 165 for nearly a month now). This makes it really hard to stay motivated!

Does anyone else have this problem??

I think it is really common.  The only time I ever confronted my obesity is when I saw pictures (and I worked really hard to avoid cameras!).  Somehow, in the mirror, I always saw the me I remembered from a long time ago.  Oh, not precisely, I knew I had gained weight, but still didn't really "see" it.  Same with general aging, I still feel about 25 (I am 52).

It worked the same way back in the eighties when I lost a significant amount of weight, only in reverse.  I still felt fat even when I wasn't.  That is why this time I am taking pictures of myself as I thin down so that I have a record that I can reassure myself once I am at maintenance.