Self-Sabotage

Every time I near my goal weight, I go and ruin it on a pointless binge I don't even enjoy.

For the past few days, I have been hovering around my goal weight, sometimes abovem sometimes below, but close enough for me to start increasing my intake to maintain.  

However, today when I got home, I decided to skip the gym because I wasn't feeling well.  Siince I didn't have to worry about eating super healthy foods to improve my workout, I decided to indulge in some of my easter candy.  I'm not going to go into details, but what started out as an innocent indulgence ended up turning into a full on binge.  The worst part is, I ate all of the good chocolate I got (instead of the cheap stuff) and hardly even tasted it.

I guess I just need to vent, although anything you could say to motivate me to not give up and instead eat healthy and hit the gym tomorrow would be mega appreciated, especially since I sort of feel like giving up on all of my efforts now..

Give up when you're so close? why? Just think however far you've come from your starting weight, and how long that took. Just keep in your head that what you're doing is making you unhappy - the gym skipping, the eating chocolate like a duck - (no chewing ...lol) so just remember how bad that makes you feel and then how good you will feel if you don't do it.  It would be tragic if you started to gain after all that effort don't you think!

But at the sme time, if you are that close, don't beat yourself up too much, you've come a long way and done really well.

PS Brett and Jermaine rock.

:) That was just what I needed, thanks.

Also, I'm really glad someone recognised flightotc=flight of the conchords...they are definitely doing more than their fair share of work in lifting my mood tonight.

I'm so bummed the season is over.

My husband looks like Jamaine, especially when it stretches his lips out :)

I do the sabaotoge thing too.  Im not at my goal weight yet, but it seems whenever I start making good progress, I ruin it.

Like today with the brownie and tootsie rolls...

If you're hovering around your goal weight, sometimes above, sometimes below, I think that means you've reached your goal, so hurray for you!!! 

At this point, I don't think the occasional binge is sabotaging, it's just living.  Yes, I know you still have to count and you still have to go to the gym, and we all all do forever, but poo poo...  Look at how far you've come and love yourself for all the discipline and hard work you've put in to get here!!! 

I gave myself permission to go overboard on my birthday and I think I felt the same sensation you are describing...  All that food, drink, candy and otherwise didn't make me happy...  at the worst I didn't taste it or don't remember it, and I was SOOO disappointed.

It wasn't until the next morning that I realized what that all really meant...  If food doesn't make me happy, then I don't have to be an emotional eater any more, and I felt liberated and more tan a little relieved to get back on the wagon.  

I am sorry to hear your "good" chocolate is all gone, that is sad...  But look on the brightside, now it won't be in the drawer calling your name :-)

And again, congratulations on being awsome, dedicated, and disciplined and making it to goal!!!

ok this is just one theory ...

once you reach your goal weight you are done - hurrah! - but what then? no more buzzes from losing another pound, no more highs from fitting in a smaller size jean, no more comments from ppl on how much weight you've lost. its over. you will have to switch all that effort and self-discipline and motivation to something else (perhaps something that requires all those things but you've been putting off - that you've been transfering on to the whole weight loss thing so you don't have to deal with it - the thing that really needs solving/doing...?). so, you have a binge and the scale goes up a bit and you feel crappy but - woo hoo - for another week you get to focus all your energies on losing weight and at the next weigh in you're down a pound and you get your buzz and you're on a high... oops but the you binge again... it's a vicious cycle!

i think this is susie orbachs theory from 'fat is a feminist issue' but i could be wrong... anyway, it could be that you are sabotaging yourself because you don't want the whole weight loss thing to be over - for whatever reason - be it the buzz, be it that you're putting off something else you should be doing, or even some investment in being overweight - in the way in which you view yourself or think that other people view you and how that is connected to the way you look (e.g. a very motherly person might subconsciously feel that the extra weight makes her seem a more comforting caring person..).

Anyway, that's just one theory and I'm sharing because i know i've fallen foul of it on many occassions. I have a major piece of work I have to do before the end of the year and I know that I use weight loss etc. as a way of not having to deal with that work - I'm maintaining now but I'm still putting a lot of time and effort into doing that when i should really be focussing on this other thing. The trouble with weight loss is that (for most) it is a no brainer - you eat less than you burn and the results will (most of the time) be favourable - you can't really fail so long as you follow that formula. however, with my work i can't be so confident - i might fail, i might not get the result i want, i might not even be good enough to get it done - there are risks associated with it whereas there are no real risks associated with weight loss which makes it very seductive.

It helps me if I count every item I put in my mouth - even if I am binging.  For instance, I looked up the calories in a tootsie roll before stuffing it and got the strength to pass it up.  Instead I choose an ice cream sugar cone (50 calories) filled with frozen yogurt (100 calories) - yummy - got the same sensation as if eating one from Carvel for only 150 calories!  So, I had another.  Sure did enjoy that binge - and for only 300 calories!