Self Worth tied to heavily to self-image?

So my boyfriend has recently told me that I base my self worth too highly on my looks. I have always been pretty and have made that my basis for how good I feel about myself and feel that if others don't think I'm absolutely gorgeous then I am worthless. I don't want to feel this way, and it only recently dawned on me just how big of a problem this is. What should I do? I know I'll always take pride in my appearance and try to look nice but I need to stop caring as much as I do about my looks and more about my other qualities. It's too much pressure! Anyone else struggle with this, or have advice/thoughts? It would be greatly appreciated!

P.S. I should also add that I've been on CC for about 9 months and have lost 20 lbs, I'm now 20 yrs old 5'5 140 lbs.

I've dealt with problems of basing my self worth on my weight and I can relate to how you're feeling.  The best course of action would be to seek professional help (a therapist, councillor, psychologist, etcetera) and try to work out your problem there.  It's important to find someone that you feel comfortable talking and don't be turned off just because you don't mesh well with the first person you go to.

Best of luck :]

I've also been there - still am, to a degree, but I hope I've retained just enough to force myself to be dedicated to exercise and eating a healthy amount.  For me, it was when my husband called me superficial.  I didn't feel that way.... but once I analyzed it from his point of view, well, I was judging someone he cared for deeply despite a few extra pounds - and being much harsher than was warranted.

What has worked for me is, finding out a true healthy weight (from my family doctor) and maintaining that with healthy diet and exercise.  I always think of excuses not to work out, but I always feel proud when I do.   And I do eat bad things, too, just minimal amounts.  I guess it is all about portion control.  Sigh

I think for a lot of people a large part of their self-worth is tied into how attractive they are. I thought being beautiful was the most important thing for a long time... until recently in fact. But then I realized that I had so many things about myself that were good...

It takes hard work to change your perceptions of yourself but it's worthwhile in the end.

i can't give you any advice, 'cause my self-worth is entirely wrapped up in my self-image. that self-image includes things i'm good at, but it also includes how good/bad i think i look. that sucks, but i think i do it b/c if i don't, i won't get an idea of other people's first impressions of me, since a visual is the very first thing.

My advise is keeping a journal of your thoughts.  You don't have to start it with dear diary or anything like that.  Anytime you're emotionally charged start writing.  I really recomend writing when you're feeling that your self worth is particularly low.  Then you can work out those thoughts and build yourself up.

I'm sorry I don't have a lot of advice since I have this problem too. Heck, even if I'm at home by myself, I feel the need to wear makeup or I get gloomy.

Maybe instead of concentrating on the appearance of your body, you could learn to better appreciate what it can do. Take up a sport or active hobby, like yoga, rock climbing, water sports, etc. You will gain confidence and not focus so much on appearance.

The best way to stop thinking only about yourself is to think about others. Use your talents to help someone else. Take the focus off of your looks and focus on your talents.

Well I've had the exact opposite problem. I never judged myself on physical beauty so I let myself go. When I was thinner and younger...I dressed so shabby. When I was over weight I only changed because of health. I always knew that judging oneself solely on physical beauty is a losing cause. Because no matter what your stock is always going down. Trying to slow the clock and getting plastic surgery may do just that...slow the clock but its always ticking. Im average weight now but I have a tummy. Sure I wish it was flat but Im not about to get cut up to achieve that. While on the other hand if you grow through education or life experiences then that stock only rises. You may be a 40 yr old woman but a doctor say, or a 20 yr old model. Who would you rather have when push comes to shove. Its hard to change your opinions until it hits you in the face.

  Also, your surroundings play to your worth. I have a friend whose a guy and is overweight. Hes a former marine and is now a paramedic. Hes the sweetest person in the world. His value is far more important than some celebrity or some shallow person. There is sooo much more to life than physical beauty. One day youll figure that out :) Just by posting this it shows that your starting to see it. What a wonderful boyfriend you must have.