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Sensitive Subject -- No offence to anyone, but need advice for the problem

• the setting: My work place
• my job: hairstylist in a dog-eat-dog industry
• my senority: well over a year
• physical stats: Im the thinnest employee 5'4 144 lbs
• my problem: the fresh out of beauty school new employee
• her physical stats: about 4'9 and well over 200 lbs

ok so the problem im having here is obviously with the new girl. She seems to have a gigantic chip on her shoulder. And i cant figure out why.  everytime I speak to her she snapps my freaking head off for no apparent reason.  This has happened 3-4 times in the 2 weeks shes worked there.

my only logical explanation is she doesnt like me because Im taller, thinner, prettier, etc.  She doesnt seem to have the same repoar with anyone else.  Im getting to where i really cant stand her presence. Shes barely been at our shop for 2 weeks.  And of course she already knows everything. yadda yadda yadda.  The bad thing is im kinda supposed to be her mentor and help her. But crap everytime i even try to make small talk she getts all defensive towards me.

Ive been severly alienated before because i was NOT part of the "fat crowd"  But im sorry ive worked really hard to lose weight and be healthy, i cant help the way others take care of their bodies.

Do large people just hate skinny people?

Ok so im not good at confrontations and problem solving.  Ive finally come to the terms of absolute MINIMAL  talking to her.  Its the best ive got.  

Any advise ????????  Imput????????

Is this a joke.

No it is not. this is an actual situation im having at work, and its really bothering me.

Nope. Fat people don't just hate thin people. She just hates you. Why don't you try asking her why. My guess is that it has absolutely nothing to do with your weight.

ive tried to be nothing but nice to her, and everytime i talk to her she has some smartalec defensive response. Its really annoying.

Besides, how can she hate me when she barely knows me??????? She doesnt know anything about me

I'm just going to say flat out that the way that you worded this post was extremely close minded.

Do large people just hate skinny people?

Honey, no one is going to give you any positive feedback with an attitude like this. I realize that your frustrated but your writing this question to a site full of people who want to lose weight, don't you see how offensive this can be ? Be careful with judgements, just as you think she may be judging you for being skinny are you NOT judging her for being heavy?

I am thin and I have friends who are heavy, and I have friends who are thinner than me, and in no way do I see weight as a "Club" that people may leave you out of unless you bring it upon yourself.

Why don't you just ask her what her deal is?
or if all else fails,

Kill her with kindness.

Maybe she's insecure about her job skills.  Try praising her once in a while.

WOW... seriously folks... raw nerve??  I think she's asking a legitimate question, maybe just in a bad way.

Absterry - I'm gonna venture a guess here that your new co-worker does not actually hate you at all.  I would be willing to bet that any hate she harbors is towards herself.  Having been the heavy one, a lot of what I took out on others was not about them, it was about me.  I hated who I was, but it was SOOO much easier for me to "hate" them than to turn it internal.

My advice, ask her straight upfront what her problem is.  If you get nowhere, go to whomever assigned you to mentor her and alert them to your problem. 

first of all did anyone read the title of the post?

NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE?......

As far as the line about do large people just hate skinny people, I cannot begin to count the times ive had rude service at a bank or a resturaunt or a gas station from a large person.  Most are mean and nasty, but let them help another large person, and they cant be nicer to them.  

I smile at people, and am generally polite to everyone. What gives?  

My problem is im not good at confrontations, and the few interactions ive had with this girl have all been negative.   Im afraid if i ask her what the deal is, that its just going to create a whole new problem.  I dont like having enemies at work. and ive had my fair share of them.  Its not fun.

I understand where you are coming from dude.

But I won't say anything because everyone is going to tear this post apart and have hissy fits.

You could be the nicest person in the world, but sometimes people won't like you cuz of your personality, you remind them of someone they dislike, etc., etc., could be anything...maybe she's just a crabby person?

If you don't feel comfortable dealing with it right up front, then you need to have someone else do it.  I am assuming that an owner or manager suggested that you mentor this person.  If that is the case, then you need to speak to them and tell them that you are having a hard time fulfilling your tast.  It would be advisable, however, to leave out the part where you think all heavy people are out to get you.  ().  I really find that attitude a little troubling, because even as a larger person, I had just as many big people as small people be rude to me.  I cannot help but wonder if there is just a mistaken perception there on your part.  Perhaps looking with disapproval at them without even realizing it.  Although you may not mean to, you may be projecting some sort of feeling onto them that can cause a negative reaction.  Just a thought.

Finally someone whos on my side with this one. TYVM

Im not trying to start a war or nothing here, because Ive been large myself.  Ive seen skinny people and felt envious but i was never rude to any of them.

I don't know, it could be any number of things. I wouldn't assume anything though. I would just approach her and ask her politely if something was bothering her.

I kind of understand too. when I was a "big girl" I was a little peeved at skinny girls just because they were thin. I know it wasn't right but I wasn't rude or anything, I was always nice to them it was just something in the back of my mind. Now after loosing most of the weight I've wanted to I find a few people giving me attitude like they are mad at me for finally loosing the weight, I know they are just still upset at themselves like I was and need someone to be upset with and they haven't figured out that they have to take responsibility for themselves.

I'm not saying that that is whats happening in your situation but it's a possibility

I can totally dig someone being insecure about themselves, having been there myself. 

but why be rude and mean to someone whos trying to help you, make small talk, get to know you etc...... being if its a co-worker or  even if its a total stranger?

You mentioned that you have had your fair share of enemies at work? Any with similiar circumstances? For me personally, I have never had those kind of issues at any job I have ever had... and there were periods where I was thin, others overweight. I have never worked in your field, so I guess I am wondering what's the deal? Is it just a sometimes catty/bitchy atmosphere or what?

beauty Salons are pretty much dog-eat dog.  Working with women and lots of gossip.

My last enemy was a stylist that kept stealing my customers, she was a mean, rude, nasty beast (to me and everyone else), and everyone was happy to see her go.  Everyone at the salon agreed that I got the worst from her as far as her antics.  and yes, she was Large.

at 5'4'' and 144. i dont think it is over your size. your not big at all. but not 'tiny'.

maybe you rubbed her wrong somehow.

just be honest, but nice.

'hey, did i do something that bothered you? i get the feeling i have upset you, or that we aren't getting along and i want to fix that.

might i just add to this post so everyone doesnt think i hate large people....  there are LOTS of larger coworkers that are totally awesome, and fun to be around.   So im not being prejudiced here.

just for clarification, Im the smallest one in the salon