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I had serious problem. and i think i will end my life soon

Well, i am used to a strict diet and once facing with something like Anorexia.  But lately . i had been binge eating. I eat non stop whole day ! i gain so much for just about 2 weeks and yet i hasnt stop ! I ate rice . sushi . chocolate cake . ice -cream. and everything fattening. every fattening food and snack that u can name. and i ate it,, I eat till i feel bloated . and even though i wan to vomit .. i stil continue eating. I hate myself so much! I rather to have anorexia than binge.!

 I start binge becuz i feel unhappy. I am waiting for my result. so i went to look for a part time job. and work as a waitress in a japanese restaurant. the ppl is not really friendly. and due to the unhappiness. i started to binge.!

I really hate myself very much. I feel so disgust with myself. and today .i done something bad. I hurt myself by using the cutter and cut my wrist.  I do it infront of my sister because . i was complaining bout my weight and how much i become fatter becuz of this 3 weeks of binge eating. I am not thin anymore and i hate it. I wan to be thin and everything has changed .becuz i gain so much! I was crying and all of the sudden i grab my cutter and cut myself.!Can anyone help.. i really wan to lose weight. back to the way before.

 I am very unhappy.. Anyone suffering from Binge eating disorder and depression? I think i am not cure yet. i Still cant control my emotion. i hate myself very much. can anyone help me plssss.. if u do have msn.. please leave. and maybe u can help me ..

give me advice. pls. i am afraid that one day i may kill myself.. and believe. me.. i have a strong urge to do tat.. aaaand i think i wont be able to control myselff

have you thought about therapy?

 

I really feel as though you should call someone immediately to get help. Even if you go to the hospital they can get you in to see someone right away. They can put you on a healthy diet and get you to a healthy weight, without these feelings.

 

Please, seek help from professionals!

I think you need to think about what things are important to you.  Life isnt about being skinny or whatever.  Its about being happy.  Find something that makes you happy and just do it!  If something doesn't make you happy, remove it from your life.

Are you on antidepressants? If not, it sounds to me like you need some. If you are, it sounds like you need a med adjustment.

It is not normal to want to kill yourself. Survival is the most basic of human instincts. When a person starts to think about suicide - even if it is ideation - it is a certain sign that the brain chemistry has gone out of whack. Luckily today we have medication that can fix that.

The right antidepressant would probably also help you with the cutting, and the disordered eating.

Please see a doctor right away. Then report back and let us know, okay?

Worried about you!

i kind of haev the same problem you do. i used to be anorexic and now i find myself binge eating a ton all the time. i havnt gained any weight from in though do to my metabolism, but i do find the eating entire containers of ice cream, cereal boxes, crackers you name it annoyingly time consuming lol. yeah it sucks but its how our bodies are making sure we get enough nutrients that they lacked for so long. its not worth getting depressed about because your weight will even out eventually once your body doesnt feel like it has to worry about being starved any more. i'm hoping mine will suddenly realize im feeding it and gain weight because i dont look skinny, i look emaciated. and it's gross. but i try not to let it bother me. hang with friends, do your school work, play sports and HAVE FUN. we are beautiful. other people see that, we just have to learn how too

 

=) 

lol. dat sounds so emo.

You should definately go talk to someone if you are truly thinking about ending your life.  I have never been anorexic, but I have had depression problems that drove me to eat more.  Finally, one day I decided I needed to make a change because depression was runing everything I loved in this world. 

I went to talk to a therapist, she helped a little, but I was still having problems.  They wanted to put me on antidepressants, but I didn't want to take a pill to fix me.  To make a long story short, in the end, it turned out that it wasn't a mental disorder at all. 

In fact, I had hypoglycemia and all the food I was putting into my mouth was affecting my mood.  It became a vicious cycle, but once I figured it out, it made life a lot easier. 

Listen, in the end, you can ask for help all day long, but deep down inside you are the one who needs to make the changes to fix your life and make it better.  Simply go into detox mode and stop binge eating.  Work out to keep yourself occupied.  I know it's hard, I still fight the urges and sometimes I lose.  However, you have to keep going.  It's better to take control of your life yourself than let some disease take control for you. 

You are already aware of the problem, so that's good.  Just don't give up, a few pounds truly isn't worth your life. 

 

 

 

Killing yourself is not the answer to anything.  

 Imagine you're at a car wrecker - you see a gorgeous brand new Ferrari, or Lexus or BMW or whatever . . .  it's gorgeous - it's amazing.   But it's missing a wheel or has a couple broken windows.   So the crane picks it up - puts it in the crusher and crushes the whole car.  You think a $100,000 car should be crushed for some problems?

 You're very valuble,  others know and recognize that -  you need to work on recognizing that.  You're very young - you have your whole great life ahead of you.  You'd be hurting your family and loved ones in a serious and unforgivable way if you took your beautiful life.

 Don't know what else to tell you - except that everyone has problems / bumps in the road on this thing called life.   As for your binge eating - start off each day new - and track your calories until you know what's good to eat what's not.   If you mess up one day - tomorrow is a new day.  

 I've failed at A LOT of things -  and learned from those failures.  just keep at it.

 Be good to yourself, be good to others.

 

 

Please talk to your parents or another adult in your life that you trust.  You need some help with the issues going on in your life and how to handle them.  Life is really sucky sometimes, but at other times it more than makes up for it.

If you don't have anyone to talk to, then try a school counselor or a clergy member. There may also be suicide hotlines or teen hotlines in your area which you can call anonymously for support and referral for additional help.

Your body will probably go through quite a number of changes in the next few years.  Many of them are hormonal and can cause extreme mood swings which may be why you feel so out of control emotionally.

I was reading your webpage and I can see that you're really having a hard time with work and family and food and life in general.  You're going to make it through this and it does get easier.  You learn to deal with and survive the not so great people that you meet in life and enjoy meeting some of the truly nice people who do exist.  If you can afford to quit your job or to get a job somewhere else that might be productive and get you away from one source of stress.

Please post again and let us know that you're doing okay. 

 

I know it's all good and easy to say get professional help, but sometimes you just can't do it, even though you know you should.

So, if this isn't an option for you, then look at other ways to help yourself.

If the people you work with aren't nice, look for another job, there will be jobs out there for you, get out of where you work as it's not helping you get better. You will feel better about yourself just by doing this.

Next thing is, if you are self harming and you have done this infront of your sister, what are your sisters views on this? Get her to support you in getting over this.

In any kind of disorder just letting someone you trust know what you are going through can help you so much. Trust your sister, tell her your fears. She may come with you to a support group or a doctor, etc.

Lastly and most importantly, believe in yourself. You are an attractive young woman, you've got the world at your feet. Start living your life for those people who don't have long to live and can't do anything about their illnesses.

Whenever you have negative thoughts channel your mind to something that makes you happy or makes you feel good. Smile more and you'll find people smile back at you.

As for losing weight, unfortunately it's the same old. Exercise(which makes you feel happier because of endorphines) eat between 1200-1500 cals a day to lose weight gradually. Change the way you think about food. Have the occasional treat and dont beat yourself up about it. Everyday is a new day, and you can forget about yesterday and get on with your goals.

Best of luck, you can do it.x

 

 

 

 

 

I don't want to sound crass, but, people who say they want to kill themselves are only looking for attention. Which, since you are hurting yourself in front of someone, seems like your main goal. If you are truly feeling that way. GET HELP. I'm speaking from experience. Don't waste people's time if you don't want to make an effort to make yourself better. No one can do it but you.

I don't want to sound crass but it's best not to assume that you know someone else's motivation when they are confessing to thoughts of suicide -- whether in their heart of hearts, they intend to go thru with it or not, it is still a cry for help.

Most people who consider suicide see it as the only way out of a problem they are having -- part of that problem IS their mental illness.  Sometimes there are other external problems that contribute to the mental illness.

Japan has experienced a dramatic increase in suicide over the past 10 to 15 years.  I found this Japanese site for suicide prevention.

I hope the OP will be able to think rationally about the problems she faces, find someone she trusts that she can talk to, with that help decide how to improve her situation and then take the steps necessary to put her plan into action.

The past is gone. The future is not yet yours. All you have is right now. Make the most of it.

Peace.

I don't know if your sister is younger or older, but you shouldn't be dragging her along into this. You need to seek professional help, not look for attention in a forum. If you really honest to goodness wanted to kill yourself, you'd have done it already. I know that. You know that. You're disturbed and you need to seek professional help.

Whatever you do is your business. Don't drag your sister into this. Just think of how f'ed up you'd be if she commit suicide or cut herself in front of you!

Original Post by joleva75:

I don't want to sound crass, but, people who say they want to kill themselves are only looking for attention. Which, since you are hurting yourself in front of someone, seems like your main goal. If you are truly feeling that way. GET HELP. I'm speaking from experience. Don't waste people's time if you don't want to make an effort to make yourself better. No one can do it but you.

Broad assumption. You're right that most people who say it don't follow through, but some do.

Imagine if someone you cared about threatened to kill themselves and you just thought they were seeking attention, so you ignored them, and they actually went through with it. 

The great thing about waking up to a new day is a chance to change what we don't like about our lives.  If you're job is no fun and people are being rude to you...QUIT!  You can get another job.  It' s not worth it.  As for your mental health, you can also get help.  Your webpage made me so sad...you are forgetting that you are not powerless in your life.  YOU can make the changes that need to be made to be happier.   What would you say if it was your sister cutting herself and talking about suicide?  How would you help her?  What would be your first step?  and the next?  Now apply that to yourself.  You're worth it.  

It would be important for you to go to your local hospital and enter into an eating disorder clinic.  It's not uncommon for people with eating disorders or depression to cut themselves.  There are many reasons why it's done.  It can become addictive and you can cut yourself accidentially and cause significant damage.  Take care of this before it gets out hand.  Eating disorder clinics will address many different issues which are contributing to your binging.  Good luck and stick with it.  You will get better if you get a strong support system around you and stick with it, even when you relapse.  You just get back on track.

I have never battled with eating additiction,  but I do have many friends who have.  I understand how painful and difficult it can be to be so depressed you are trying to find anything to fill that hole.  Reaching out for help was a huge step.  You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to admit you are having problems and need help.  Many of my freinds with eating addictions have found Overeaters Anonymous saved their lives.  OA is similar to Alcoholics Anonymous with the exception that the addiction is food.  This is a link to their website  http://www.overeatersanonymous.org/index.htm

If you are really having a difficult time with depression and start thinking about hurting yourself  the suicide hotline has 24 hour support to help you through it.  It is a toll free call 1-800-suicide.

I wish you the best.  Please remember you are a beautiful person who deserves to be happy and healthy. 

 

Thanks ppl for caring! I think i am depressed because of my binge eating. I feel disgust and i hate myself so much for eating like this. I have difficulties on controling my emotion .

I do want to feel happy. It is just that i cant find it.It seems like Nothing really matters for me . I have no urge to watch movies. when i go shopping, i dont have any intention to buy anything. i used to enjoy shopping and buy all kinds of girls stuff. Sometimes buying a pair of earring will make me happy too. but now, everything has changed. Seems like there is nothing that i can do .. or want. I hate this feeling of depression. It makes my life so pointless. and i feel that living is useless. I need life motivation. i need

You just told the story of the last 6 weeks of my life.  I'm not sure how to help you... but I just want you to know, you are not alone.  I too am fighting an eating disorder, and just when I was able to pull myself out and maintained a healthy weight for almost 3 months, I started binging... and couldn't stop.  I tried... but I couldn't.  It's like, my body wanted what I didn't let it have for so long.

I just spent the last 2 days crying because of the 15 pounds I have gained.  I too have also struggled with cutting.  I have not cut in 10 months but I came oh so very close just last night.  I finally left my apartment and hid out in a lounge on my college's campus where I knew no one would be and cried because I felt so ugly and fat and I just want to be my perfect 132 pounds, size 7 again instead of this ugly pig who barely fits into her size 9 "fat pants".  This is hard, I know sweetie.  I am struggling against my eating disorder at this very moment, having pushed myself on the track today for 4 miles in 37 minutes and doing an intense Flip Fitness aerobic workout as well as playing raquetball... and at 10PM I have eaten 800 calories, and I know I should eat more... but I can't.  I've had a headache all day long that I know will be cured by eating... but I just can't let myself.  Many times I struggle in my head, tell myself I must choose between starving or cutting because I am too fat and ugly to be kind to myself.  Sweetie... please know... YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  I am struggling just the same as you are right at this very moment.  But the one thing that keeps me going is knowing that I am not alone, and that this will pass.  I surround myself by people and with things that comfort me.  Do you like music?  I am a music major and I know when I am angry with myself, I'll pop in a CD of some great pipe organ music or one of Mahler's symphonies, and I get so lost in the beauty of it that I forget myself and my problems, at least for the moment.  Try to find something that you love to distract yourself with.  I find this to be the only way to fight the urges.  It doesn't cure them, but it at least delays them, and then you can chalk that up to one more day survived.  I also find that light does some good things for me.  I suffer a bit from seasonal-affective disorder so winters are especially hard for me.  I turn on every light in my apartment when I feel bad and get nice and warm in my electric blanket.  I also go to a tanning bed a few times a week and the light and warmth from the bed does a lot of good for me too (as well as gives me a good tan... even if I can't ever be skinny, people ARE so jealous of my tan).

Feel free to PM me if you'd like... I can't make it better, but I can listen (or in this case, I can read).  Sometimes all you need is just knowing that you aren't alone in this and that there is somebody there who listens.

once you stop binging you'll feel better, your mood is tied to your weight it seems,