Serious Problems..need advice and help

So, I have an account on here..and I made this one just to post this story because I dont want anyone judging me or whatever. It might be a bit lengthy but if you really want to hear it then you can read it all I guess.

I think I have personality problems. I've takin online test after online test (and not facebook or myspace..but from websites that have info on disorders and ask questions..similar to ones I have takin before at a physicatrists office). and they all say I have this and that and that. Like I said, I've been to a pshyciatrist before but that was court ordered when I was 15.

• I dont feel like I really care about what anyone else sais or does..and if I listen its to see if their story is simliar to mine.
• I have issues believing people.
• I get really awkward and quiet in large social situations, even though normally I'm a VERY outgoing and people person if its in small social situations.
•  I get mad very easily.
•  I dont have any real interests or drives or hobbies.
• I can never remember to do stuff and I'm very clumsy.
• My sexual history is numerous, there was a time when I was 15-18 that i probably had sex with 20 people a year..and it would be older men I met off of the internet. I'm not like that anymore but still.
• I'm smart, I have a 4.0 in college, but thats all I got going for me I feel like. I'm in my junior year and I'm not just figuring out what I want to do with my life.
•  I have a hard time  committing to stuff, like majors, jobs, men.
•  I change my mind alot.  
• I dont know if I've ever really loved anyone, but more of I loved what they could do for me or how they made me feel.
• I dont feel like I relate to anyone my age (20)
• I'm manipulative and I feel like I use people, even though I dont mean to
• I'm not very creative, just logical
• I judge and critisize people harshly for things I've done my self
• I'm very judgmental
• I never have fun in anything I'm doing.
• I long to be like other people, have as much fun as they are, and love like they do

This all makes me sound  like a horrible person but I hate how I am. I just want to be normal and think like a normal person. Help.

Way to beat yourself up! Hell, any one of us could pound out a list like that if we wanted to make ourselves feel terrible. You're young. Lots of people beat themselves up like that when they are young

When you're 40 like me, YOU RULE!

You need to know you aren't the only one suffering with these kinds of issues. You should see a therapist so he/she can make a diagnosis. Sounds like you might be bi-polar, but I'm no psychologist.

I don't understand why you are so hard on yourself.  If you really think about it, most humans could be diagnosed with something.  Try to focus on the good things instead of the bad things.  Maybe writing in a journal each night will help you track your moods.  Seeing a therapist might not be a bad idea, but you need to decide for yourself if you need to take that step.  Even in that case, taking your journal with you might help.  When writing in a journal you will probably feel less guarded than sitting in therapy saying it all out loud.  Maybe make a list of your positive traits and hang it where you can read it every morning--as a fresh start to each day.  Good luck. :)

I think yall are missing something.

I'm not depressed, I dont feel bad about myself, and I dont walk around all day beating myself up. Reading a list of positive things about myself isnt going to change the negative things about me. And I'm not trying to call myself this or that or this or that..i just know I dont feel like I have the normal mind set of a 20 year old girl

On the contrary, I have some friends, I'm on the basketball team at my college, I dont think I'm ugly, lots of guys want to date me, and I know there are good things about me.

These arent things i"m picking out to make myself feel bad and cry like a little emo kid.. its things  that are fact that i have realized about myself and am aware of..and I just dont like them..and I dont think they are normal.

You kind of sound like a regular teenager/young adult. *w* None of the things you've listed sound that outrageous. Being indecisive, judgmental, etc. You're 20, which is plenty young and full of times of confusion. Some things even sound like PMS symptoms (the ones that aren't all the time anyway).

• I dont feel like I really care about what anyone else sais or does..and if I listen its to see if their story is simliar to mine. - Who doesn't do that? You're young, and at the moment, you have a whole lot ahead of you. Other people surely are more concerned with themselves than others.
• I have issues believing people. - You should. People aren't always trustworthy. It takes balance.
• I get really awkward and quiet in large social situations, even though normally I'm a VERY outgoing and people person if its in small social situations. - That's just being socially awkward. I deal with that, but I don't know if it's a huge issue. Do you panic and sweat and what not? You might just need practice.
•  I get mad very easily. - All the time? Some of the time? Could be bipolar, could be PMS. Or you could just have a lot of stuff on your plate which is leaving you irritable.
•  I dont have any real interests or drives or hobbies.- You must have a little something here and there. I don't think most people have their life goals perfectly planned at 20 anyway. :)
• I can never remember to do stuff and I'm very clumsy.- That's a very common trait in all people, sane or not. I don't think that's serious. Maybe practice...balancing?
  
• My sexual history is numerous, there was a time when I was 15-18 that i probably had sex with 20 people a year..and it would be older men I met off of the internet. I'm not like that anymore but still. - I have nothing to say about that because I don't know the norm for other people's sex lives.
• I'm smart, I have a 4.0 in college, but thats all I got going for me I feel like. I'm in my junior year and I'm not just figuring out what I want to do with my life. - A lot of people change majors, and, since you seem to be in a bad mood, you probably can't see the good things you have. Like money for college. And food. And a computer. :) And maybe a pretty face? And a few friends? Perhaps a funny trait?
•  I have a hard time  committing to stuff, like majors, jobs, men. - A lot of people do. It's good to take time deciding things.
•  I change my mind alot.  - Same as above.
• I dont know if I've ever really loved anyone, but more of I loved what they could do for me or how they made me feel. - You're young. I seriously doubt that young people can truly love, but that's just my opinion.
• I dont feel like I relate to anyone my age (20) - ...So? I mean, you shouldn't want to force yourself, right? Find people that relate to you, not who you can't relate to. :D
• I'm manipulative and I feel like I use people, even though I dont mean to. - Everyone uses everyone. It's a hard life out there. It's good to be tough. However, it isn't good to lead people on, but I'm not sure how seriously you do this.
• I'm not very creative, just logical. - Do you need to be? That's not really a disorder trait. Many people re logical.
• I judge and critisize people harshly for things I've done my self. - Don't we all? Are you doing it seriously? I mean, are you treating people badly? :(
• I'm very judgmental. - Unless you're treating people badly, or shutting them out, it might be normal.
• I never have fun in anything I'm doing. - Change what your doing? You must of had fun once in your life, right? :) Even as a little kid, it  might give you some links to what you like.
• I long to be like other people, have as much fun as they are, and love like they do. - How do you know what they do? People have fun doing what they like, so you have to find what you like. Forcing yourself to be someone else to fit their picture isn't going to make you any happier at all. I think you need to find time accepting yourself instead of comparing all the time.

If they're really bothering you, a therapist would be the best advice. I don't mean t seem like I'm downplaying all of your symptoms, but I think you're going through pretty normal stuff.

But a therapist really is best D:

Hopefully you'll get some better advice. Best of luck.

Original Post by anonomyss:

• I dont feel like I really care about what anyone else sais or does..and if I listen its to see if their story is simliar to mine.

 So? No one says you need to care about the events of random people... you just looking for someone to relate to because you do not relate to your peer group (lots of people are the same way, it's nice to know there are others out there like orselves).

• I have issues believing people.

That is good...people lie a lot. Or you are paranoid and should be more trusting?

I get really awkward and quiet in large social situations, even though normally I'm a VERY outgoing and people person if its in small social situations.

 Lots of people do this too. You are just shy around large groups of people... I'm the same way.

• I get mad very easily.

I judge and critisize people harshly for things I've done my self

I'm very judgmental

When you catch yourself doing it... just try harder to stop it. Being judgemental isn't always bad though, you can judge people all you want.

I dont have any real interests or drives or hobbies.

 Do you want them? Lot's of people your age don't have much.... just find what you are interested and keep trying new things till you do.

I can never remember to do stuff and I'm very clumsy.

Make yourself notes? To-do lists?...as for clumsy, just be more aware and move in thoughtful ways.

My sexual history is numerous, there was a time when I was 15-18 that i probably had sex with 20 people a year..and it would be older men I met off of the internet. I'm not like that anymore but still.

 Lucky guys? Haha

Probably not the safest thing you could have done... but nothing bad with sex, as long as you are doing it safe.

I'm smart, I have a 4.0 in college, but thats all I got going for me I feel like. I'm in my junior year and I'm not just figuring out what I want to do with my life.

GPA doesn't have anything to do with smarts. And again, lots of people have no clue what they want to do (best idea in that sittuation is to get a flexible degree, like in business or something).

 I have a hard time  committing to stuff, like majors, jobs, men.

 I change my mind alot. 

Who said you need to commit to stuff? You can change your mind as much as you want...

I dont know if I've ever really loved anyone, but more of I loved what they could do for me or how they made me feel.

 Your young, that's normal... no one says you need to fall in love at X age...just have fun and if it happens, it happens.

I dont feel like I relate to anyone my age (20)

 Lots of people feel this way (more around your age). There is a LOT of growing up that happens in the late teens and early 20's...

I'm not very creative, just logical

 Do you want to be creative?... Go create something if you want...

I never have fun in anything I'm doing.

Stop doing it?

I long to be like other people, have as much fun as they are, and love like they do

The grass is always greener.... but you can't just go out and pick up things like that...

Sounds like you just want a better relationship than what you have been having... .so... go date? Or find something else to get your mind off things?

Wow I'm bored.

Original Post by anonomyss:

I think I have personality problems. I've takin online test after online test (and not facebook or myspace..but from websites that have info on disorders and ask questions..similar to ones I have takin before at a physicatrists office). and they all say I have this and that and that. Like I said, I've been to a pshyciatrist before but that was court ordered when I was 15.

From someone who has dabbled in mental health studies, just about anyone and everyone will fulfill the reqs for some kind of DSM-IV diagnosis. They have a lot of disorders in there.

And you think you're not normal, but a lot of 20-year-olds experience the same things you feel. A friend of mine, around your age, is amongst the most cheerful, fun, outgoing people I know, and he sees a therapist. So relax, your feelings of being 'not normal' is actually...quite normal.

Original Post by anonomyss:

I think yall are missing something.

I'm not depressed, I dont feel bad about myself, and I dont walk around all day beating myself up. Reading a list of positive things about myself isnt going to change the negative things about me. And I'm not trying to call myself this or that or this or that..i just know I dont feel like I have the normal mind set of a 20 year old girl

On the contrary, I have some friends, I'm on the basketball team at my college, I dont think I'm ugly, lots of guys want to date me, and I know there are good things about me.

These arent things i"m picking out to make myself feel bad and cry like a little emo kid.. its things  that are fact that i have realized about myself and am aware of..and I just dont like them..and I dont think they are normal.

 

Good.  Shows both insight and conscience.  Don't worry, you're probably not a sociopath.   Just introspective and intelligent.  Nothing wrong with that.

I don't like disagreeing especially on these forums, but really I do think some of the symptoms you describe need to be addressed and treated. "Don't worry about it" is a non helpful and not completely honest reply to a really disturbing list of issues you  put forth.

The one that stands out the most is the never having fun no matter what you do. This speaks of a flatness, if not depression, a non feeling--numbness--and if it is constant then it is, indeed, a problem you should deal with.

Not having empathy for others is not a small thing despite some of the replies. And no, it is not living at your best.

Each issue you list, alone, seems to be common self obsession but put all together it does really sound like more than that. I hope you seek further input from a professional.

You practically described me with 70% of your list. I never thought I had a personality problem, neither should you. I think you wanna (or think you should) conform or be like other people who are 20, but you are who you are.

I do think that you should perhaps talk to someone, you could have a minor personality disorder (lack of empathy?). I mean, would you care if something were to happen to your family or close friend? I mean seriously think about it. Not having empathy for people you don't know or aren't close to is pretty "normal" as far as I can tell (a lot of people are this way).

However, if you feel you are not right for whatever reasons, you should get help.

When it comes to mental stuff, don't put it off, it's easiest to seek help, be told you're normal than to assume your normal and you get worse.

Good luck.

And you shouldn't hide who are. The large majority of us don't judge, especially when someone is completely honest (I have said some seriously personal things on here and the people are awesome).

1.If my mom died

2.if me and my boyfriend broke up

3.if my best friend died

would be

1. Damn...no where to go when i need something

2. who gonna help me with my rent

3. no one to hang out with when I'm bored..****.

If you're wanting someone to tell you that you're a sociopath...

You're a sociopath.  There.

Original Post by cptbunny:

I think you wanna (or think you should) conform or be like other people who are 20, but you are who you are.

I do think that you should perhaps talk to someone, you could have a minor personality disorder.

if you feel you are not right for whatever reasons, you should get help.

When it comes to mental stuff, don't put it off, it's easiest to seek help, be told you're normal than to assume your normal and you get worse.

this ^^^

seek out therapy on a regular basis to ease your mind and get a professionals on-going input.

the many avenues of psychotherapy can be a wonderful tool.  And who knows? Perhaps with the added help of psychotropic medication(s)..

you describe yourself as being, well, fairly self-absorbed (which i really believe is normal and natural in humans; but regardless --), this should make you more prone to want to help yourself. so do it. get help for yourself.

If you don't care what we say, why ask?

If you want to be somebody else - change your mind.

Two thoughts:

If you don't LIKE these traits - work on them.  A lot of them don't sound BAD per se, just individual traits.  But you can try to change them.  Empathy CAN be developed to some extent.  So can creativity.  Make goals to baby-step your way to the person you'd rather be.  Some people just aren't as emotional as others, and if you are a highly logical person, you may not be.  That is OK.  High emotionality can be very irritating - I'm one of those!

If you are truly concerned - Calorie Count isn't going to be a lot of help.  See a professional, who can at least tell you yay or nay on being "normal", maybe give you some advice.

Original Post by kathygator:

If you want to be somebody else - change your mind.

 ;o)

The question seems to be 'am I normal?' and there's an extremely wide range of 'normal'.  Most of us learn our behaviour and reactions initially from our families... then it broadens to other people we meet & influences like the media.   Many people feel different or 'other', or that they don't fit in and, quite often, they'll deliberately go to find those with similar opinions and attitudes.   (BTW The sexual episode happens quite often when teens mistake 'sex' for 'love'.)  All of that is arguably normal in young people when personalitites are not fully-formed.

I think the true test is not one you can do with an online site.   It's really that if you're sufficiently concerned about any aspect of yourself to the point that it negatively affects you living a normal life, then it's a problem even if it doesn't fall neatly into a predetermined pigeonhole of this or that condition.  Everyone has character traits they're not proud of..... but I'd say most of us gloss over them.  You can either take the aspects of yourself that you don't like and consciously work on them yourself or you can ask other people to help you.  Could be the medical or therapy route or it could be something closer to home....  If you're self-centred, for example, it helps to engage in work that helps others. 

I'd talk to your doctor if you're genuinely worried. 

If there are traits about yourself you don't like, maybe think about what you can start doing to change them?