Set a challenge and ask for help

Hi, If you have a problem with your weight gain and need answers and help to overcome these problems. Then need people to be on your case asking how you are doing with your problems that you are tackling. Maybe we could post it here?

Right now I am having trouble with

the last half stone gaining

eating fats (ed saying not to)

exercising more

not wanting snacks

My alternative answers are

I will try to

remind myself i need to eat 3 meals and snacks if gaining or maintaining and i need to gain more weight, so

eat fats

find distractions

eat snacks that i want (cause i need to to gain and maintain)

Original Post by eringo2:

I wish you best of luck goobyb - keep in touch though as I am keen to hear how you are doing and your motivation to get yourself to where you are now continues to be an inspiration for me! If you happen to find any magical 'body image fix' solutions then please let me know and I will do the same! he he he :)

 Will do, eringo! Thanks for all the encouragement you've given me!

Hi...

I'm having a hard time because I have not had the nerve to weigh myself. Last time was too triggering for me. I've been eating more but I just can't get on the scale.

My stinking half marathon is in less than two weeks. Saturday, October 3. I'm supposed to be tapering and running less, but I don't want to. And when I do, I don't feel worthy of food.

So...

My goals:

Run less, for my health and for the race, and then don't run for a while after the race.

Eat consistently, and eat more during the morning and afternoon.

Any words of wisdom?

hi bsh - the only thing that worked for me in terms of 100% committing to recovery was giving up running all together. It was very very hard for me to do that as I was running nearly every day and it did take me a good 2 months to taper off but I finally came to the realisation that the only way I was going to actually get better. I am pleased to say it has worked for me so far both in terms of putting on weight but also helping me to relax and change my mindset.

bsh0611: As hard as it might be, I really think you should give up running for a bit, like eringo2 said. You'll allow your body to physically recover much quicker. It's already stressed enough from undereating. At least with me, when I stopped doing my running, I kept eating the same # of calories (~3000) and my weight actually began to stablize even quicker! When I was running, I was gaining nearly 4 lbs a week! Now I doubt you're rapidly gaining weight like that, but holding off on the running might speed up the process of weight stablization like it did me. I know that feeling of being 'unworthy of food'. That's exactly where I got to during my first attempt at recovery, before I relapsed. In order to overcome that, you've truly got to be committed to recovery, and be willing to do ANYTHING to recover faster.. Even if it means giving up running for awhile. Just think how much more energy you'll have for running once you're recovered!

It's also great that you've identified the scale as being a trigger, and that you're actively avoiding it. Remember, weight is just a number. ;-) It shouldn't have ANYTHING to do with your self-worth.

As you said in your list of goals, consistency is key. Try to at least aim for at least 2500 cals or more per day, regardless of whether or not you exercise! I promise everything will all work out in the end. =] Good luck!!!

goobyb thankyou for the advice , altough aimed at bethany i found it really helpful . bethany i really hope you can start to tackle the running i think its really holding you back in recovery . so it serves a purpose but actually does it ?

I couldn't have said it any better goobyb! Although I am still only partway through my recovery and still have a few kgs to get to my goal weight I am feeling much better mentally through laying off on the exercise. My body is thanking me for it as well - I can see it and I can feel it and it has also really helped reduce the tension with my family who were very concerned over my level of activity. It is really hard but find something else that you are passionate about and devote your time to that.

As goobyb says - look forward to when your body is recovered and healthy and you can ENJOY running again rather than it being a chore - that is what I am looking forward to!

Goobyb thanks for sharing that, I always have worried if I cut back on my exercise my weight would just shoot up even more so its reassuring to read what you put that yours actually stabilised.

Bsh: Exercise can really end up becoming a chore almost a punishment, feeling like you have to do it and balancing your food against it. I struggle as well with controlling my activity levels although in different ways, maybe you should cut back on runnning and then after your marathon just stop it completly for a while. Let your body heal, let yourself get to the point you want to and then you`ll be in a better position to fully enjoy your running again at some stage. It will be really tough at the start to cut back so look for some things you could do instead to take your mind off it.

Hi everyone, sorry ive not nposted in long, im back to college and out all day.

BSH: I agree with the others about exercise. I think your best bet is to give it up all together for the moment. You can then step back and get a real perspective on your attitude to wards running. Having said that, another milder form of exercise (yoga?)could tae its place, or fill the time youspend running with new hobbies.

Tessa: Hows the old appetitie?

Betty: Have you gone out to eat yet? What are the positives in your life youi have come up with?

I am struggling with gaining back a little weight i lost because of little habits i have piced up. I am also fighting with my parents (the atmosphere has altered) similiar to how it was in the house when ed was really there. Im trying though

So I am going to

eat what mum makes for dinner and finish what she puts on my plate

eat snacks everyday

try to identify and break little habits that i have gotten into

count conciously over 2500 everyday this week

what exercise are you guys doing ?

betty i hope you can begin to challenge the exercise it can be a real pitfall in recovery

erin your a little star i know how hard you find it but you always keep fighting

driven im sorry your having problems at home , and i hope you can resolves these but it would be grt if you could eat what your mums makes. the hunger hasnt subsided yet despite not doing alot and eating more werid cause i feel more starved than ever despite being a higher weight and eating better im sticking with it i guess my fear is ill go the oposite way and turn into a compulsive eater !

thanks tessa - you are a sweetie and I really have all my faith and encouragement behind you for you to keep going - you are doing so great. So many others have had the same feeling re: becoming a compulsive eater but the hunger subsides once your body starts recognising you are no longer going to starve it so feel it while it is hungry and trust that over time it will settle.

Driven - good luck with your new challenges - maybe talk to your mum and see if she can prepare some of your favourite meals as that might help make the dinner time challenge easier for you?

tessa1223: I'm glad you could find it helpful Helen! =] Keep on going! You've made great progress!!!

eringo2: I've noticed the exact same thing. When I stopped exercising, my mental focus improved greatly. Plus, I wasn't tired and worn down all the time. And since I wasn't tired all the time, my mood improved greatly, which also translated to a slightly improved body image. It's almost like one big domino effect! If you can get over the hump of over-exercising, recovery becomes significantly easier! You're body is able to devote more energy to the mind, and this leads to a more rational view on yourself. And I'm so glad you've discovered this! I know refraining from doing something you love is very hard.. I too enjoy a lot of very active outdoor activities, such as backpacking, hiking, biking, running along the beach at sunset, etc. Like you said, it's best to wait until you're fully recovered so you can truly enjoy your favorite activity. Keep up the great work!!

betty1302: Glad I could help! If you think about it, it really makes logical sense too. The body is already under tremendous stress from undereating and fueling your muscles for exercise. Reducing that stress load on the body would make it realize sooner that you aren't starving and that it doesn't need to hold onto every calorie you eat. It really does seem counterintuitive, I know.. I struggled with this actually a couple weeks ago. You've just got to put a little trust into your body and ease off the desire to control your weight. If you can do this, I can assure you everything will work out.

Sorry for the huge paragraphs I keep writing lol I really want you all to get better!

Awww thanks Goobyb, we all really want to see you better to, you've been making a really good effort recently   

Driven: No I havent been out to eat yet, Im thinking maybe Thursday as long as I pluck up the courage. I have focused on some positives in life though, Ive realised that I may have screwed up big time in the past but thats all in the past and now I can work towards changing my future and making it better, so thats one positive thing!  Ohh I know how easily those little habits can creep back in, once I break one it takes a lot to stop going back to doing it, its really best to nail them now before they start again properly. I think you've made some good aims there, letting your mum cook for you for a while might help your situation, ease a bit of pressure of you.

Helen: Its strange isnt it? I feel the same, Im eating more than I used to and my appetite just seems to have gone up with it! I guess its just our bodies catching up with us, I worry to about turning a compulsive eater and I think a lot of people in our situation have this fear but I think as long as we stick to a good balanced diet it will all even out in the end. Keep up your good work!

I will give it up after my race. I definitely cannot wait. I'm having such a hard time this week. Running just seems to hurt, I feel so exhausted, so unmotivated. I wish I hadn't signed up for this.

My appetite isn't growing consistently... it comes in fits and starts. I'm stopping the birth control (it came out Friday and won't go back, we can't afford it) - do you think this will help or hurt?

Challenge: Deciding that I need to gain weight.

What I'm going to do: Eat enough to at least maintain. I don't know how many calories that is, so I'm going to try and stop counting. And exercise less, too. Then I guess I'll just see how things go...

Girlplurailty: Im gald youve decided to gain. It is scary at firtjust like any change. But once you get going, it becomes easier. 2500 is the recomended to gain if your sedentary. If you dont want to count cals then i suggest making up meals and snacks that you knwo are a good amount of calories and bulk, without knowing the exact content. If you are trying to recover from an ed, and the thought of eating a high amount of cals scares you, well then remember you want to gain weight and this is what has to be done. If you want to recover, dont listen to the part that doesnt want to gain or eat a high amount. Good luck on your journey

So, I went to an appt. with my counselor and my dad today. The result?-My dad and i dont get on. He is a big trigger to my ed. He shouts, I feel bad, I restrict etc...I realise I cant change him nor is he willing to let his guard down and change a little to improove our relationship. I can only change my part in the relationship. I am not strong enough in myself yet to be around him without being so affected by him. We have decided to spend less time together, untill, and so that i can, recover more.

After that, we will continue to manage our time together, becasue as individuals-we dont get on-ed aside.

I am also going to develop my hobbies and relationships with others so that his opinion wont matter to me as much as it does now. The exact details of how this will happen will be decided this weekend. Im glad this has happened Its not a sad thing. Its just facing up to the truth, and its a chance for me to break free further from my ed, and see what kind of relationship I can have with my dad, when managed properly

Drivenlass, eringo and goodbyb: You are all so right, thanks so much, I know the weight does go to your stomach first, the key is to wait it out and have faith that it will redistribute itself at some point. It's just giving it time because last time I didn't and that's what caused my relapse.

My stomach has always been my most sensative are though, that was the body part I wanted to lose weight mainly on when I started restricting. It is hard to cope with the changes, when I finally got it 'thin'.

Hello everyyyone

This is my first ever post to the "weight gain" forum, so yeah, I hope to get advice/support etc :) and this is also the very begginning of me trying to gain weight.

I am struggling with:

- Body image: constantly checking myself in the mirror, worrying I will suddenly look fat/big stomach :/

- Eating the amount I know i'm supposed to be eating

- Feeling happy when I feel hungry/empty/weak <-- bad :/

- Freaking out about calories grams of fat i'm consuming (trying to up protein so I tend to stress when I see the amount of fat in whatever it is I'm eating, but yeah)

- Keeping positive: some days i think i'm convinced i want to maintain or even lose, when I know i'm underweight

I will try to:

- Avoid the mirror a bit more, try not to stress over minute changes

- Keep self talk positive, none of this negative, self hating stuff.

- Find good distractions

- Oh and not over-estimate calories, I seem to be doing this a lot. Probably to convince myself I am eating the right amount, when in actual fact i'm eating way under.

Wow I'm so glad I found this thread. Its reassuring somehow to see that others struggle with the same things as I do.

Right now I'm struggling with...

- accepting that I'm too thin. I know the numbers say I'm underweight but I just can't see it when I look at myself

- (as a result of the above) accepting that I need to gain weight

- weighing myself too frequently and basing my mood of the day on the number on the scales. also body checking all the time

- letting myself sit down and relax - I feel so guilty if I'm not exerting energy all the time. I'm exhausted all the time because I spend all day walking about and keeping myself up and busy.

Goals I'm setting myself...

- weighing myself once a week on a non-digital scale. I find it much less triggering to weigh myself on a scale with a dial so that I'm not faced with an exact number to compare myself to each time.

- consciously trying to stop body checking. My body is going to start to change soon and I need to accept that.

- remember that I need to feed myself whether I've been active or not

Another major goal is to increase my calorie intake from where it is at the moment (about 1600). But I feel like I've already gained weight on this amount, so I'm too scared to increase it any more :(

illusionjx and scarlotti09: Welcome!!

Illusionjx: Stomahc is the first area that weight goes to to protect your vital organsm but keep preservering and it will redistribute to the rest of your body. As far as feeling good about feeling weak, at least you can recognise that this is not a good thing- i mean, what will being cold and weak get u?what does that feeling really mean?ask yourself those questions. Fat calories can be good, for your hair skin and nails as well as keeping your mindactive and body satisfied.

Remember, the neg self talk is the ed, not u! it is seperate from u, it doesnt want u to b well, so ignore it! And distraction is great!! what kind of stuff do u like?

Scarlotti09: write down what are the things that u are getting and not getting from being thin. This may help ur perception of what u see in the mirroe. I feel ya on the exercise buzz. But normal people eat whether they exercise or not, your body needs fuel to just think, breathem for your organs to work and all that.  Once u get into the habit of sitting down and realxing, youll notice how great it is, and how much u can do when u allow yourself do it, movie nights, having a long chat with a friend in a coffee shop, sitting on  a lng plane journey even! Try and make out a few foods that will help u bosst ur calorie intake. Are you trying to gain?

I hope u guys preservere, guud luck!

xx

Thanks drivenlass :)

It's hard sometimes, because I often find myself thinking i'm not "sick" enough to be having to gain weight, you know?

But I know that I have to for my health.

Things I like that work well in distracting me are:

- Listening to music :D I love metal haha so that works in taking my mind of weight and food

- Calling up my friends/hanging out with them. I find that I forget about this when i'm having fun with them :) That is, until it's time for lunch..

- If i'm really desperate, i'll clean something, or, and this sounds weird because it involves food, I will make my brother meals. He is 14, underweight and doesn't seem to care of he doesn't eat (he's just lazy :/) so I find trying to keep him healthy distracts me (maybe I should practice what I preach!)

- Or reading a book :)