Getting setup with someone...

My co-worker asked how old I was and if I was married/had a girlfriend. I have no SO to speak of. I broke up with my ex about 9 months ago now and struggled quite a bit with it. We were together for 3 years and things kind of imploded. Long story short, she valued her friendship with her ex's more than our relationship so I ended it.

I have had absolutely no desire to meet anyone or go on any dates whatsoever. I appreciate my co-worker thinking that I would be a good match for someone but I am struggling to find the words to let her know that I would really like to be alone for awhile and don't want to get setup with anyone. I'm usually pretty candid but I've only known this co-worker for 4 months or so and she is upper management... should I appease her? Chances are I will offend anyone I go on a date with.

does your co-worker even know you well enough to know if you might be a good match?  if she didn't even know whether or not you're attached, somehow i doubt it.

i hate it when people try to set me up with someone just because we're both single, compatible height, and approximately the same age.  but when someone who really knows me, and really knows the other person, i'm willing to give it a shot.

if you don't want to date, don't go.

Can't you just tell her what you said in your post?  Very nicely say something to the effect of, "I appreciate that you thought of me, but I just don't feel ready/am not interested in starting up something new right now."  I don't see that being inappropriate, even if she is upper management.

I would really like to be alone for awhile.

taken from your OP.  that should about do it.

How about "appreciate it, but i'm not looking to date right now."

you have no obligation to go out with someone just because someone else thinks you'd be a good match.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

does your co-worker even know you well enough to know if you might be a good match?  if she didn't even know whether or not you're attached, somehow i doubt it.

i hate it when people try to set me up with someone just because we're both single, compatible height, and approximately the same age.  but when someone who really knows me, and really knows the other person, i'm willing to give it a shot.

if you don't want to date, don't go.

I would say that she knows my physical traits, knows that I'm a laid back guy and she also knows that I'm dieting again and getting into fitness. I would say she knows enough and I would probably take her up on it if I wasn't so damn confrontational with women right now. It's obvious my ex hurt me bad, I usually wouldn't let myself get hurt so that's why this is kind of a unique situation for me.

Ok. My .02:

1. It was nine months ago. Time to move forward.
2. You broke up with her, not the other way around. You found the situation untenable and you rectified it. Simple. You shouldn't be feeling anything but relief.

Unless...deep down you suspect that maybe you did the wrong thing by breaking up?

As to your OP: Just say "No, Thank you." (Because, you know, be a gentleman if it kills you) :)

Original Post by kkempinski:

It's obvious my ex hurt me bad, I usually wouldn't let myself get hurt so that's why this is kind of a unique situation for me.

 That sounds like the perfect answer to me.  You're still stinging from the bad break-up and you're just not ready to put yourself out there yet.

Just tell'em you're gay.

Just let her know you aren't looking to date right now. No one should have to go on a date they don't want to.

Too risky. We all have a gay friend that needs a hook up.

Although it could be a sitcom in the making...

Original Post by trhawley:

Just tell'em you're gay.

I would rather slit my wrists... nothing against gay people.

Original Post by kkempinski:

Original Post by trhawley:

Just tell'em you're gay.

I would rather slit my wrists... nothing against gay people.

 allow me to pick my jaw up from off the floor.

I would just say "No thank you I prefer to find my own dates"! short and sweet!

Did your co-worker actually say they wanted to set you up?  Or were they just making conversation with those questions?

Original Post by hotfuss:

Did your co-worker actually say they wanted to set you up?  Or were they just making conversation with those questions?

It was the atypical - why aren't you married comment followed by a full fledged, I should set you up there are plenty of nurses, etc. that would love to date a guy like you, blah blah...

Original Post by starlitocean:

Original Post by kkempinski:

Original Post by trhawley:

Just tell'em you're gay.

I would rather slit my wrists... nothing against gay people.

 allow me to pick my jaw up from off the floor.

I very highly doubt that gay people would want to be associated with the likes of me ;) My sister is a lesbo, I give her **** for it all the time. I'm a liberal that doesn't mind pissing people off while being non-pc.

Original Post by kkempinski:

Original Post by hotfuss:

Did your co-worker actually say they wanted to set you up?  Or were they just making conversation with those questions?

It was the atypical - why aren't you married comment followed by a full fledged, I should set you up there are plenty of nurses, etc. that would love to date a guy like you, blah blah...

  If she brings it up again, just say you aren't interested.  But I don't think you need to go out of your way to let her know you don't want to date.  If you don't bring it up, she might just forget about it anyway.

Che was gay.

Original Post by trhawley:

Che was gay.

Riiiight :)

You weren't kidding when you said you like to be non-PC.  Lesbo?  really??