ok so here is the thing, im not a virgin but im not that experienced. me and boyfriend have a long distance relationship we have been going out for about 5 months now and i have only had sex with him twice and both times he was on top. im going to see him soon and i want to be the one in control. he complains that im too shy and not wild enough. i want to show him my wild side i want to be the one to take control and be on top, but my problem is i have never been on top before and i dont really know what to do and i dont want to look stupid in front of him. so would somebody please explain to me exactly what to do while im on top. please
Edited Apr 14 2007 02:38 by hkellick
Reason: locked, see posting guidelines
Reason: locked, see posting guidelines
10 Replies (last)
I think you should educate yourself. Read some books, but if you are feeling a little more adventerous I would watch some videos. I wouldn't try to emmulate everything you see in a porn vid, but there can be some things you can learn from it.
i say watch some porn. take a few notes because its quite different than being on bottom. you are going to feel a bit uncomfortable, thats just the nature of doing something for the first time, but you'll warm up to it :) if you get scared or feel shy, just close your eyes and try to let your emotions guide you instead of trying to mimic what you think its supposed to be like. ya? hope i helped a little at least :)
most of all, be safe!
most of all, be safe!
Well, I agree porn is a good idea. But you probably are not going to 1. want to imitate everything you see in porn and 2. be [maybe] confident enough.
Um, I don't want to say "get drunk" or something cause that probably isn't appropriate, you might not be legal, and depending circumstances alcohol could lead to bad news. But maybe start by doing something to get your inhibitions down, play game, mess around, wrestle, anything to loosen you up and make you comfortable and try being on top as the dominator in the games, wrestling, tickling, whatever.
It will come natural don't worry too much about it. And if you want to watch something I suggest ameteur porn, that way you can look at some 'real' women.
Um, I don't want to say "get drunk" or something cause that probably isn't appropriate, you might not be legal, and depending circumstances alcohol could lead to bad news. But maybe start by doing something to get your inhibitions down, play game, mess around, wrestle, anything to loosen you up and make you comfortable and try being on top as the dominator in the games, wrestling, tickling, whatever.
It will come natural don't worry too much about it. And if you want to watch something I suggest ameteur porn, that way you can look at some 'real' women.
Definitely watch some porn or get some books... it will help for the whole idea of it to not seem so weird.
The best part of being on top is the control, the power and the confidence. You're pretty much entirely on display and that's why it's so hot! It might help to practice that position on your own, so that you can get used to how to position your body. This position is all about you, so don't be afraid to be loud, be emotional and expressive with your face and to help yourself along. Without a doubt that is the number one turn-on that I've heard from guys, is getting a show while their girl is on top! This is a great time to really get wild, play with your hair, your chest... yourself. You can sit on your knees or you can bring your knees up (kinda like you're squatting), or you can even turn around (reverse cowgirl).
One more thing, if you are at all concerned about your body (I have stomach issues so while this is my favourite position, sometimes I get distracted by wondering how ugly my tummy looks!) I would suggest some sexy babydolls, or a corset... or whatever camoflouages your iffy parts. I know it's great when you're entirely confident in your body, but sometimes it's hard to get there, especially in a new position and there's nothing wrong with covering up bits that aren't your fave! :)
My favourite part about this position is when the guy is sitting up... that way it's intimate, you can kiss and fondle and it's the best way to hit all the good spots. Good luck and have fun!!!!
The best part of being on top is the control, the power and the confidence. You're pretty much entirely on display and that's why it's so hot! It might help to practice that position on your own, so that you can get used to how to position your body. This position is all about you, so don't be afraid to be loud, be emotional and expressive with your face and to help yourself along. Without a doubt that is the number one turn-on that I've heard from guys, is getting a show while their girl is on top! This is a great time to really get wild, play with your hair, your chest... yourself. You can sit on your knees or you can bring your knees up (kinda like you're squatting), or you can even turn around (reverse cowgirl).
One more thing, if you are at all concerned about your body (I have stomach issues so while this is my favourite position, sometimes I get distracted by wondering how ugly my tummy looks!) I would suggest some sexy babydolls, or a corset... or whatever camoflouages your iffy parts. I know it's great when you're entirely confident in your body, but sometimes it's hard to get there, especially in a new position and there's nothing wrong with covering up bits that aren't your fave! :)
My favourite part about this position is when the guy is sitting up... that way it's intimate, you can kiss and fondle and it's the best way to hit all the good spots. Good luck and have fun!!!!
Like avriel said, you definitely need to get your inhibitions down and really feel like "I am woman! Hear me roar!". So play some sexy, feel good music, get dolled up, practise in front of a mirror so you can see how hot you look... whatever it takes to really bring out the dom in you!
What you need is a man whore, or a loser friend that could use some extra hoochie.
Just climb aboard another novice and practice untill you feel comfortable.
Then voila! Instant boyfriend pleasing machine.(unless he finds out.....)
Just climb aboard another novice and practice untill you feel comfortable.
Then voila! Instant boyfriend pleasing machine.(unless he finds out.....)
Oh also.
When on top instead of trying to imitate everything you thing should be done on top just straighten your legs next to or on his and lean forward. It will be much easier to be comfortable that way and when you feel more confident you can start (haha, I was about to say hopping around, but that's weird) -- doing other things.
When on top instead of trying to imitate everything you thing should be done on top just straighten your legs next to or on his and lean forward. It will be much easier to be comfortable that way and when you feel more confident you can start (haha, I was about to say hopping around, but that's weird) -- doing other things.
Get up there and do what feels good to you. Do not under any circumstances feel like you have to be putting on some kind of porn star performance. Sex is about intimacy between two people. Nobody is watching you. It's not a show and you don't have to worry about looking stupid. There's nothing artificial you could do that could be more exciting for him than seeing you feeling good for REAL. Be yourself :)
I respect the people who suggested porn but I am going to politely disagree with you. I think it could have the opposite effect of what you intend. Part of the appeal of porn for a lot of people is that it's not realistic. For someone who is inexperieced and worried about how she looks/how to behave, I would think she would get unrealistic ideas about sex from porn and feel even more pressure to do it the "right" way. I think you'll agree with me that there is no "right" way, that it is different for every couple. While I am personally opposed to porn I understand it can be a tool for learning, but I think it would be more helpful to someone who is more experienced and comfortable with the basics in bed.
I would like to recommend The Guide to Getting It On because it deal with both the psychological issues and the mechanics of sex. You can order it from Amazon marketplace for less than $10.
I respect the people who suggested porn but I am going to politely disagree with you. I think it could have the opposite effect of what you intend. Part of the appeal of porn for a lot of people is that it's not realistic. For someone who is inexperieced and worried about how she looks/how to behave, I would think she would get unrealistic ideas about sex from porn and feel even more pressure to do it the "right" way. I think you'll agree with me that there is no "right" way, that it is different for every couple. While I am personally opposed to porn I understand it can be a tool for learning, but I think it would be more helpful to someone who is more experienced and comfortable with the basics in bed.
I would like to recommend The Guide to Getting It On because it deal with both the psychological issues and the mechanics of sex. You can order it from Amazon marketplace for less than $10.
Just do what feels good. From what Ive been able to figure out, if it feels good for me, it feels good for him ;-P
And, it doesn't hurt to wear some sexy garments to start with. Heck, if it makes you feel more comfortable blindfold him =D
And, it doesn't hurt to wear some sexy garments to start with. Heck, if it makes you feel more comfortable blindfold him =D
Hi folks,
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Going to lock this.
After some discussion, the moderators do not feel that this is an appropriate topic on a site such as this with such a wide audience. I'd like to suggest that any further discussion on this topic be done within your private journals. Thank you for your time.
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