Sex vs. Driving

How is it that vigorous sex burns less calories then driving a car?

I mean really, some of these moves take quite a bit of physical dexterity and driving is just sitting and paying attention to the road.

Apparently sitting on the toilet burns almost the same amount of calories as sex.

And I do not mean crazy stuff, just regular sex with your wife on saturday morning or after a little bit of wine. 

I find that hard to belive myself. I strongly belive that that cal count is an error!

Hmmm here's ummm food for thought:

 calories Burned During Sex

The Act of Insertion If the man is ready (same vice-versa) 1/4 calories

If the woman is not (same vice-versa) 274 calories

Satisfying Partner (organ size) Most experts agree that size means nothing. Shape is what counts, and the man with a shaped organ can write his own ticket. In those rare instances where a man has a genuinely small member, he may have to compensate by working slightly harder, but this is good for weight loss.

A man with a really large organ, while he might not have to work as hard once inside, may exhaust himself just trying to convince his partner to let him put it inside.

Normal size 22 calories

Oversize 15 calories

Tremendous 8 calories

Teensy-weensy 163 calories

Positions

Man on top, woman on bottom (facing each other) 20 calories Woman on top, man on bottom (Many women find that in addition to its inherent sexual possibilities, this position affords a better view of the clock.) 25 calories

From the rear (Mysterious variation) 40 1/2 calories

Standing: Both partners of equal height 18 calories

Standing: Woman 1 foot taller than a man 90 calories

While in traction(very useful during ski season) 124 calories

Locations

 On a bar stool 20 calories

Rear of a Honda Civic 38 calories

In a phone booth, standing 14 calories

In a phone booth, lying down 274 calories

On an airliner, aisle seat 24 calories

On an airliner, middle seat 42 calories

On an airliner, window seat 30 calories

On an airliner, in the lavatory 100 calories

Possible Side Effects of Intercourse

Bouncing 7 calories

Sliding around 9 calories

Serious Skidding 12 calories

Full cartwheel 20 calories

Whiplash 27 calories

Knee burn 6 calories

Chafed elbows 5 calories

Chafed nose 11 calories

Sex Related Noises

Short gasps (per gasp) 3 calories

Wheezing 5 calories

Squeals 4 calories

Ecstatic moaning 11 calories

Low growling 8 calories

Squishing 10 calories Shouting 16 calories

Screaming 18 calories

Urgent begging 22 calories

Any short speech giving partner directions("Please don't stop," "Faster," "Just a little more" are common examples.) 25 calories

Approaching Orgasm Letting go 5.5 calories

Controlling yourself 79 calories

Digging nails into your partner's back 11 calories

Trembling 15 calories

Shaking 20 calories

Shuddering 25 calories

Trying to keep eyes open 33 calories

Orgasm Real 27 calories

Faked 160 calories

Orgasmic Intensity Scale

Expression didn't change 1/2 calorie

Face turned purple 15 calories

Orchestra swelled 6 calories

Magical explosions 10 calories

Blazing Sheets 25 calories

Earth moved 30 calories

Vesuvius erupted 47 calories

You began moaning in Latin 60 calories

Pulling Out After orgasm 1/4 calorie

A few moments before orgasm 500 calories

Multiple Orgasms For women: 2-14 calories, 5- 30 calories, -8 47 calories (Depending on greed her rate of recovery a woman can enjoy around 8 orgasms within an hour period without losing consciousness or disarranging her hair. As the number increases, however, she may begin to experience a form of "reduced sanity" that will temporarily interfere with her ability to cook, worship ,and ride a Moped.)

For Men: 2-21 calories,3-39 calories, 4-57 calories (For a man, its a different situation, perhaps due to physiological and biological reasons. Many men can enjoy up to 4 orgasms in an hour with little discomfort except for the slight ringing in the ears. With few exceptions, however, a man who tries to achieve more than 10 orgasms within that same period is flirting with irreversible brain damage.)

Special Orgasms Clitoral. 15 calories Vaginal 21 calories Penile 21 calories Scrotile 15 calories Rectal 25 calories Oral
(can also occur during an especially good meal) 30 calories

Premature Ejaculation* During insertion 2 calories During intercourse
(Approximately. 2 sec's or 3 thrusts after insertion, whichever comes first.) 5 calories During foreplay 3 calories Immature ejaculation
(Similar to premature ejaculation except male acts childish and throws a tantrum.) 4 calories

Consequences of Premature Ejaculation Even if you have a good heart, it takes much understanding not to feel like a victim when your partner climaxes after 3 sec's of intensive sex, especially if he immediately sits up to watch the football on tv.

 For Women Frustration 8 calories Anger 15 calories Violent mood swing 20 calories Surpressing rage 25 calories Not surpressing anger
(In extreme cases, this can include cursing, nose tweaks, and gently massaging partner's head with a tire iron.) 65 calories For Men: Cursing 10 calories Apologising 3 calories Snivelling 5 calories Pleading for mercy 8 calories Begging for another chance
(Note how unfair: Men never seem to mind if a woman has an orgasm after 3 seconds of sex.) 15 calories Possible Side Effects of Good Sex The first indication that sex was a positive experience will be a buzzing in the pelvic area and a clear complexion. You might also feel pleasantly light, as though you were dozing in a vat of cream cheese. If sex was really terrific, you feel dangerously drained, as though your body had been connected to a large milking machine for several days. Additional reactions include: Swooning 6 calories Palpitations 10 calories Shortness of breath 5 calories Perspiring 8 calories Possible Side Effects of Bad Sex A less-than-sunny desposition 1 calorie

Recovering Un-entwining 3 calories Regaining motor control of pevis
(After especially tiring sex, you may feel numb from below the waist to the opposite wall. The result will be an inability to walk [put one foot in front of the other], which will seriously impair your chances of going to the bathroom or getting some juice.) 7 calories Standing up 9 calories Getting some juice 11 calories

Rolling Over and Going to Sleep After intercourse
(Classic behavior for shiftiness men who believe they've done their job and are now entilted to a rest. This "rest" may include snoring.) 18 calories During intercourse
(Women find this to be a subtle, yet direct way of suggesting dissatisfaction.) 32 calories During foreplay
(Indicates either an advance case of fatigue or a serious lack of interest.) 12 calories Avoiding the wet spot 80 calories Trying Again If the woman is ready 5 calories If the man is not 156 calories

Dreaming Regular dream 2 calories Wet Dream
Add 5 calories if it occurs while in bed with your partner;
Add 20 calories if your partner notices 16 calories Wet Trance
(Usually occurs in the presence of a sensual hypnotist.) 20 calories

Group Sex Introducing yourself 3 calories Overcoming shyness 8 calories Swapping partners, willingly 4 calories Swapping partners, unwillingly 62 calories Jealousy
(Partner having more fun than you are) 16 calories Mixed doubles 26 calories Being nice to everyone 100 calories Anger
(You suddenly realize that you're wanted for you body and not your mind. Difficult to cope with, especially if you have a Ph.D.) 10 calories Finding your clothes 5 calories

Masturbation For pleasure only 6 calories For exercise, too 10 calories For relief from tension 12 calories To pass the time 7 calories To avoid overeating 16 calories To get in touch with inner self 10 calories To get in touch with outter self 10.5 calories To avoid insanity 24 calories To avoid spending money on a date
(In addition to being a viable alternative to television, shopping, and binges, masturbation is a quick and inexpensive way to get warm.) 9 calories Using your hand(s) 11 calories Using your finger(s) 9 calories Using tweezers 2 calories Using an inflatable doll 24 calories Using Any fruit or vegetable
(Except watermelon or a sprig of parsley) 19 calories Using a vibrator, hand-operated 12 calories Using a vibrator, windup 9 calories Using a vibrator, electric 5 calories Using anything not mentioned here 50 calories In a pornographic movie theater - purchasing the ticket 2.5 calories In a pornographic movie theater - finding isolated seat 78 calories In a pornographic movie theater - adjusting raincoat 3 calories

Typical Sex-Related Fears Partner hates me for what I did 4 calories Partner hates me for what I didn't do 8 calories Forgetting the instructions in the sex manual 10 calories Climaxing too soon 5 calories Climaxing too late 6 calories Not climaxing 20 calories Partner thinks of me as a sex object 9 calories Partner doesn't think of me as a sex object 47 calories Partner will neglect to adminster last rites should I not recover from orgasm 88 calories

Personal Fears Gigantic cellulite that shake and ripple during orgasm 6 calories Stretch marks that look like a plowed field 8 calories Penis envy 72 calories Body odor of a disgruntled yak 25 calories

Getting Caught By partner's spouse 60 calories By your spouse 60.5 calories Trying to explain 165 calories Stuttering 28 calories Throwing up
(Calorie counts here are flexible, depending on type of spouse-whether understanding and open-minded, or narrow-minded and armed) 40 calories

Almost Getting Caught Trying to remain calm 100 calories Fright (includes trembling) 66 calories Leaping out of bed 25 calories Getting dressed in one large motion 300 calories Thanking partner quickly 2 calories Jumping out of window
add 5 calories if window wasn't open 15 calories Landing 1 calorie Running very fast 50 calories

http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/csex.htm

That's.... FAR more information than I think I ever wanted, m3lody ;)

http://www.herbalfields.com/calories.html

Says you burn 50 calories per half hour driving

http://www.healthstatus.com/cbc.html

Based on my weight it says I burn 172 calories in a half hour durning sex.

Its always good to check several sources.

*Edited for clarity.

yes hk, but entertaining.....LOL

well, m3lody, what can I say but thanks a bunch.  That was exactly what I was looking for, a good smile, which when I showed my wife she really enjoyed it and we may try some of those things just to see if the calorie thing works in the practical, good research you know.  That other site is pretty good and makes a little more sence to me when it comes to the exercise part and the sex exertion.

Of coarse, I only use this site as more of a drive to succeed, good reference for choosing certain foods and catalogueing my exercise routine.  The sex part was always a little odd, and since I have started exercising and watching my figure my wife and I have more of it, even though she always said I was cuddly before like a big bear she seems to like this a little better.

One question though, is that per move, or hour or minute that you are calculating those i.e.=Screaming 18 calories -what if we are on a roller coaster and we scream for the full ride, around 5minutes-is it 18 colories-or if it is in spurts here and there in bed is it 18 calories/time we scream or do you group it all together.

well, I would suggest that in order to avoid confusion that your goal would be to produce a roller coaster screaming ride in the bedroom.... LMAO

so how exactly does one lie down in a phone booth? even without trying to have sex, i think that would be pretty difficult...

I have lost more weight with my laughter than with any of the above antics.

I think that whoever came up with those calories burned for vigorous sex wasn't doing it right

Either that, or there is a category beyond vigorous.

well that turned me on!!! lool

how about behind a hummer?!! u said behind honda civic burns 38!! lool!!

that was funny informative!!

ROFL!!!!!
I almost fell over while laughing at M3lody's post and my mom stared at me weird.

WOO GO GIRL! I'll keep it all in mind :P:P

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I LOVE THAT LIST OF SEXUAL ACTIVITIES.

HAHA, LMAO the calories of sex depend on your location.

that's some new information.

*Prints list to p-oist on bedroom wall*

There now to check off most of it ;)

wow-but how the heck do you log all that calorie burning? XD

This gets bumped because I only just found it whilst browsing on my lunch break and it made me laugh loads!!  remind me to take a note book to bed to log my calories!!  :o)

wait...so...if i fake an orgasm i'll burn more calories than a real one????

looks like i'm having like FIFTY ORGASMS TONIGHT!!!  better yet, that can be my workout....i'll just go home and practice faking orgasms.

Laying down in a phone booth? now HOW would you do that?

yuck, who would want to? (lay down in a phone booth). People urinate in those things!

Laying down in a phone booth...

Now that is a feat all in itself, not to mention trying to have sex too. No wonder it burns so many more calories, that's a lot of effort lol