What is Sexy?

I've just read slshortround's post on sexiness.  It made me think about sexy at 50 something and I think it is different from what sexy was when I was 25.  I must confess that losing weight and firming up makes me feel sexy.  My daughter tells me that I look better than I ever have, and that even my legs look good.  That's a huge compliment from my 32 year old. 

So I'm asking, what is sexiness?  Is it a state of mind, a behavior, a look, or is it all of these combined?  To me, sexy is the way I feel in my clothes and the way my body feels "to me" when I'm touched.  I think this means sexy is an internal feeling of comfort in my own skin; and for the most part, it is my inner feelings about my body expressed outwardly.

What are your thoughts? 

I agree with you.  I'm having to redefine sexy in this overweight, postmenopausal, 52 yr old body of mine.  At present, it hits only off and on, and I find it a state of mind more than a state of overweight body...it's tough, actually.  I'd like to feel sexy again but I think a good portion of the problem is hormonal.  But when all things line up, oh boy! is it fun feeling sexy again!

Hi,

One good thing about menopause; you know once that year is over and your friend doesn't show up anymore, no more thoughts of pregnancy and you can enjoy sex freely without worry, that alone is enough to help a woman feel sexy, at least I think so. 

I asked my hubby...he's my best indicator of "sexy"!

His response was that it's attitude.   When I'm feeling playful, he thinks that's sexy.  Laughter is sexy.  Touching is sexy.  He thinks that body image is beside the point, other than how I let it affect how I feel about myself.   Does he look at the pretty, slender, hot young things?  Yep.   And he appreciates them much like one would appreciate fine art.  Does he want to own one?  Says that there's too much maintenance to bother with.  He'd rather have me, someone he can have fun with and joke around with...even when I weighed in at nearly 300 lbs, he'd have rather had me...

Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!

Confidence is sexy. I feel so good about myself now and my libido has sky-rocketed. I've lost some weight, but more importantly I am working out and loving it--back to trail running. I feel so strong and capable, it makes me feel really good about myself. I feel like any man would be lucky to get me. I must be radiating something, too, 'cause I'm getting more looks and attention, and I'm definitely not thin or even in my healthy weight range yet.

I decided to get a divorce a few months ago, and that has made a huge difference in the way I feel about myself. I didn't even realize my marriage was having such a negative impact on me. It wasn't horrible, but it was sexless. That is just not something I could continue living with, and there was no fixing it. I feel so free.

I agree that sexy has very little to do with body size.  Sexy is different from attractive.  We all have our idea of attractive, our preferences, the bodies that catch our eyes.

John Travolta in "Pulp Fiction."  Not very attractive, overweight, puffy, stringy hair.  But watch him dance at Jackrabbit Slims, that man was SEX-EE.

Unfortunately for me, I needed to lose a certain amount of weight before I felt sexy.  Fortunately for me, I have lost that much and more.  So even though I am not young or slim, I now feel sexier than I ever have before in my life.  I smile that smile that says, "I'm happy in my body."  I dress in clothes I enjoy and that I feel good in. 

If I'm sexually active, I generate the energy that says, "I'm sexually satisfied."  If I'm not sexually active, I generate the energy that says, "I'd like to be sexually satisfied."  Both are sexy. 

I think the ultimate sexiness is not needing someone else to confirm my worthiness as a woman, as a physical being.  Feeling good enough that it doesn't matter whether or not someone else finds me attractive.  Wanting someone, but not needing someone.  That's sexy. 

Sexy, to me, is how we feel about ourselves.  How we look at ourselves in the mirror, how we feel inside about us.  When we feel good, we look good, it changes our body language, our facial demeanor, etc. 

We don't need someone to affirm our sexiness all the time, if we know we are sexy!!! 

The adage, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is somewhat true.  How do we see ourselves?  How do we behold us???

Sex and the postmenopausal woman is so much more enjoyable with no fear of pregnancy, etc. 

We are at an age where we can afford to be looking inward and discovering new avenues of pleasure--it is the golden years in so many ways.

Enjoy yourself and of course your sexiness!!!!!!

At this time in my life I am questioning how to win my husband back.

I have gained weight and his years of having female friends he confides in has escalated with my weight gain from his choice of a lifestyle that excludes me.

Losing weight and getting fit is my goal.  It might not be what wins my husband back but it is what is important to me.

I buy beautiful clothes but until I actually feel confident and beautiful inside they don't mean a thing.

Today is the beginning of my journey and I look forward to sharing it with all of you.