Shallow....

I can't be friends with ugly people. Now, I know that wasn't the best way to start, but it gets right to the point. That isn't something I just up and decided one day, it's just a statement of fact. There've been many times in my life where I where i've disliked- no, that's too strong a word. been "turned off" ?- by a person for no good reason at all. After much analysis, I've realized that the one thing every single one of those people had in common is that they're ugly. To me, anyway. I realize people have different opinions of what is/isn't attractive.

Well, I thought about it and my justification/excuse: If we're friends, I'm gonna have to look at you a lot. If I can't stand looking at you, how could our friendship possibly work? Plus, In a weird way, i would feel guilty for thinking one of my friends is ugly...

I didn't post this so that everyone can start telling me how stupid an shallow I am. While I don't generally categorize myself as such, I do realize the things that this way of thinking implies about my personality. I just want to know if I'm the only one.....

ps- Sorry for the novel....

You sound young.

I just want to know if I'm the only one.....

Oh my goodness.  I'll refrain from flaming you about this mindset and instead ask - did you really post this looking for validation?  Like others are going to read it and go, "Yeah, she's NOT the only one!  Down with ugly people!"?

Interesting...I find that I can't be friends with people who are deliberately mean.

I don't really look at my friends much and am in fact started when I realized that they've made a major change in appearance.  I have an overall impression of my people and when I don't like them I tend to notice their flaws whereas when I do like them I just notice that they're neat in some way.

Original Post by oplleez:

I didn't post this so that everyone can start telling me how stupid an shallow I am.

well that's what you're going to get.

hmm..  does it matter if they're ugly inside?  or is it 'ok' as long as they're physically appealing to you?

i'd much rather have one physically 'ugly' friend.... than a 100 pretty friends that are ugly INSIDE.   know what i mean?

to each their own...  i suppose

Original Post by smwhipple:

Interesting...I find that I can't be friends with people who are deliberately mean.

I don't really look at my friends much and am in fact started when I realized that they've made a major change in appearance.  I have an overall impression of my people and when I don't like them I tend to notice their flaws whereas when I do like them I just notice that they're neat in some way.

 i like how you worded that  :)  

me too

This is definitely shallow, but I think kind of know what you mean. I'm sure other's who have posted could relate as well if they admitted that they sometimes pre-judge someone based on their appearance. We all do, it's human nature.

I don't know if I'd go so far as too say that I can't be friends with unattractive people, but I would definitely be lying if I said that I have never had negative first impressions, or possibly even avoided conversation with someone based on their appearance alone. It's certainly not intentional.

I have come to find that people who cant be friends with "ugly" people, or "fat" people are in actuallity, ugly themselves (inside and/or out).

I had a friend that couldnt be friends with overweight people because she was skinny and always thought that they were judging her for being small. It was so weird to me. She always thought they were being mean to her because they were jealous or something.

crazy crazy.

Original Post by priceless7:

I had a friend that couldnt be friends with overweight people because she was skinny and always thought that they were judging her for being small. It was so weird to me. She always thought they were being mean to her because they were jealous or something.

crazy crazy.

 narcissistic.

I wont flame you.  Tempting, but I can put I can put it aside.

What interests me is this very notion of "ugly".  What is "ugly"?  Is ugly something that is outside of symetry?  Is ugly something that strikes deep emotion?  Fear perhaps? What in the world is ugly anyway? 

There is a man who comes to my office - most people would say he is "ugly".  But I am facinated by him.  His face is a work of art with its twists and valleys and he has a HUGE mouth.  His skin is pock marked.  But why is this ugly?  Why is the unusual always considered ugly?

I know the OP will get over her notions of ugly as she gains more experience.  And if she doesnt - well she is missing out on art.  Pretty is so cheap and basic and sort of cookie cutter plastic.  But "ugly" comes with a story, a texture and often a mystery.

Original Post by trikki:

This is definitely shallow...

When I think of shallow, I think of someone who can't DATE someone they think is ugly.  This seems different...more...I don't know....bizarre??

jb- thanks?

ps- Thanks for not flaming. If that's what you call not flaming, I mean.  I'm not bragging about this, I'm just sayin it. And no, I'm not looking for validation about how I feel, just wondering how others feel. Thanks for taking the time to respond....

sm- I am not at all deliberately mean. I don't go around telling every person I meet how ugly I think they are or go around looking for people I find ugly so I can run up and tell them I don't wanna be friends and they can't come to my party on Saturday. .

Ugly is as ugly does.

~k

Original Post by madamq:

I wont flame you.  Tempting, but I can put I can put it aside.

What interests me is this very notion of "ugly".  What is "ugly"?  Is ugly something that is outside of symetry?  Is ugly something that strikes deep emotion?  Fear perhaps? What in the world is ugly anyway? 

There is a man who comes to my office - most people would say he is "ugly".  But I am facinated by him.  His face is a work of art with its twists and valleys and he has a HUGE mouth.  His skin is pock marked.  But why is this ugly?  Why is the unusual always considered ugly?

I know the OP will get over her notions of ugly as she gains more experience.  And if she doesnt - well she is missing out on art.  Pretty is so cheap and basic and sort of cookie cutter plastic.  But "ugly" comes with a story, a texture and often a mystery.

<3

No, ugly inside is pretty bad. I'm talkin' purely physical.

Original Post by oplleez:

...I don't go around telling every person I meet how ugly I think they are or go around looking for people I find ugly so I can run up and tell them I don't wanna be friends and they can't come to my party on Saturday. .

But, they CAN'T come to your party.  That is kinda mean.

katonic- my fave reply.

I cant be friends with beautiful people. they make me look ugly. : /

Original Post by oplleez:

jb- thanks?

 I said "you sound young" meaning you're speaking out of immaturity and lack of experience with people. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you'll grow out of this.

Most people just aren't that rotten.

eta: Oh, wait....your profile says you're 22. You're just rotten.

Sorry, Katonic. Hotfuss' reply just took over as my fave.