I couldn’t believe it! I gave out a short laugh but it crippled me inside. I am 5ft 0 and weigh around 112-113. Yeah, so I’m not at my goal weight but I am not fat.
I never raised this with her again but I can’t believe that people think that they can get away with making comments like that. It’s those kinds of comments that can throw people into eating disorders and / or depression.
That's pretty rude and you should tell her so. That said, 99.5% of the time people make comments about other people as far as looks go, it is because of their own insecurity. This is usually why people seem upset or jealous of other people losing weight or looking good - it makes them insecure about themselves.
Just keep doing what you are doing and ignore rude comments from people. What you believe about yourself is far more important.
Some sister-in-law you have and I can't believe you laughed!! I would have knocked her on her butt.. You are right, you are most certainly NOT fat! You are in a good weight range for 5'0 which is 97 to 127 based on the BMI.. Is she overweight? Perhaps, she's jealous? Ignore her. Sorry this happened to you.
You should have kicked her in the teeth and sent her flying : )
Next time just smash the quiche in her face. :p
People make those comments and think they can get away with making those comments because when they make those comments the people they are making comments about just laugh and ignore it on the outside while being hurt on the inside. The only way people are going to stop making comments like that is to let them know that it is inappropriate.
Next time she makes a comment like that say something to her. "Hey, that comment is not appropriate and I do not appreciate when you talk to me like that."
It very well may be her own insecurities that she is showing with a comment like that. Keeping quiet about her comments is only going to let her know that she can get away with saying those things. Keeping quiet helps no one.
The OP is like so many others that I see in the forums. It is time for people to start standing up for themselves! You don't have to be rude or mean to stand up for yourself but you do need to firmly and confidently let people know that their rude comments will not be tolerated.
Original Post by atech:
People make those comments and think they can get away with making those comments because when they make those comments the people they are making comments about just laugh and ignore it on the outside while being hurt on the inside. The only way people are going to stop making comments like that is to let them know that it is inappropriate.
Next time she makes a comment like that say something to her. "Hey, that comment is not appropriate and I do not appreciate when you talk to me like that."
It very well may be her own insecurities that she is showing with a comment like that. Keeping quiet about her comments is only going to let her know that she can get away with saying those things. Keeping quiet helps no one.
The OP is like so many others that I see in the forums. It is time for people to start standing up for themselves! You don't have to be rude or mean to stand up for yourself but you do need to firmly and confidently let people know that their rude comments will not be tolerated.
AMEN!
People will treat you they way you allow them to treat you. You are not fat (as you stated) but she is rude. You need to nip these comments right away and let her know that her rudeness is not called for.
Original Post by vanilla_swirl:
Next time just smash the quiche in her face. :p
Make it a new fighting style; quiche-fu.
Don't let people get away with that sort of treatment; call them on it and watch the blood drain from their face. :)
Would that make her a conquichetador?
Eggxactly!
Wow...rude. You're at a great healthy weight. Don't let it get to you, that was completely uncalled for...I'm 5'1 very active, very fit and I am usually in the range of 117-122
This is cracking me up -
that said, maybe we should be eggploring the OPs issue regarding the fowl play rather than making fun.
Oh well... I'm off to get some eggsercise, after which I shall dine on a poultry meal of eggplants.
On that note I make my eggszit...
If it's any consolation, the only reason that someone would say something like that is because you are not fat. I know this because I am fat, and no one ever comments on it.
I am amazed at what some people think they can say to someone who is normal weight (let alone the unsolicited advice that people feel they can give to "underweight" people).
One way to handle people like your SIL (people that you have to tolerate because they are family rather than complete strangers you can blow off) is to take those kind of offhand comments and drive them into the ground, pretending to innocent desire for more advice:
- Oh, really? Do you think I am fat? I feel that I am at a really healthy weight for me, I am sorry that you don't agree.
- She will then backpedal (I assume), but don't let it go.
- Work your way around to saying that the last guest (male) really liked your cooking, and made a big point of complimenting you, especially since he hates dealing with girls who never eat anything, and serve nothing but rabbit food, etc., etc.
I guarantee that after a few of these conversations she will learn to keep her mouth shut about other people's weight or what they serve to guests-- so you will have done the world a service in re-programming someone away from making thoughtless rude comments!
Wow...what a bitch!
It's totally an insecurity. Now matter how close you are to some one, it's never okay to be rude like that.
And how pathetic is this woman to act as if not having a husband is such a horrible thing? Man, if being skinny but a bitch is how you get a husband, forget it! I don't want a man that's attracted to that!
My mom told me something along time ago: "She maybe skinny and I maybe fat, but I can lose weight...She'll always be ugly".
mperic81 hit it on the head. That said, I wonder if her husband (your brother) was present and if so, what was his reaction? This is behavior that shouldn't be tolerated in your own home, ever.
True or not, no one should insult another person in their home. That is a boundary issue and needs to be corrected immediately.
When I was a kid, I was forced to allow all sorts of derogatory comments about my body. Yes, it led to my having a completely distorted self-image and eventually taught me to be just as nasty and critical to others.
And yeah, a woman needs a husband like a fish needs a bicycle.
wow, that was uncall for. wondering what was up her ass that she felt the need to attack you.
you should have said any guy who doesn't find you healthy doesn't deserve in the first place, but just let it go because clearly you are not overweight and she was being a nasty bitch.
Original Post by dkenworthy:
If it's any consolation, the only reason that someone would say something like that is because you are not fat. I know this because I am fat, and no one ever comments on it.
I am amazed at what some people think they can say to someone who is normal weight (let alone the unsolicited advice that people feel they can give to "underweight" people).
One way to handle people like your SIL (people that you have to tolerate because they are family rather than complete strangers you can blow off) is to take those kind of offhand comments and drive them into the ground, pretending to innocent desire for more advice:
- Oh, really? Do you think I am fat? I feel that I am at a really healthy weight for me, I am sorry that you don't agree.
- She will then backpedal (I assume), but don't let it go.
- Work your way around to saying that the last guest (male) really liked your cooking, and made a big point of complimenting you, especially since he hates dealing with girls who never eat anything, and serve nothing but rabbit food, etc., etc.
I guarantee that after a few of these conversations she will learn to keep her mouth shut about other people's weight or what they serve to guests-- so you will have done the world a service in re-programming someone away from making thoughtless rude comments!
LOVE THIS!!!!! great adive!
My husbands cousin is like this. Only she is nearly twice my age.. and weight (immature much?) When she starts in, I just remind her with a smile that I'M not the one thats stayed with a man for 16 years, has two children with, that will not marry me. Then she starts in on my husband and I remind her, that I'M not the one thats my spouces punching bag. For some reason she always shuts up...
But...I'm evil...
Hmmm...yeah she is insecure. You are not fat.
It could also be that she was trying to make a joke. In bad taste - maybe not well executed. But at 112 you are spot on for an ideal BMI. So you probably look pretty damn good.
Agree 100% with dkenworthy. This girl is a bully. It has nothing to do with your weight, she's just trying to find something she thinks you're sensitive about, singling it out, and picking on you. I can't stand when people do that.. it's so ugly and unwarranted. I'm getting angry just reading this. What a b**ch.
Original Post by dkenworthy:
If it's any consolation, the only reason that someone would say something like that is because you are not fat. I know this because I am fat, and no one ever comments on it.
I think that's exactly it. Most people would never say anything like that to a real fat person, because it would just be mindlessly cruel. Not that it wasn't cruel anyway, or such comments don't hurt non-fat people, but it sounds like she was trying to make a bitter, ironic joke and just ended up sounding like a jerk. It might have gone something like:
1. If you continue to eat quiche, you'll get fat.
2. You're a woman, and you have to be constantly on the alert for signs of approaching tubbiness. If you're not fat, you should at least spend your life terrified that you could be someday.
3. Fat women don't get married. Doesn't life suck?
Either that, or she has some kind of social disorder. Or she really is just a jerk. You would know better than I would.
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