She's so stupid I want to punch her but I'd get fired ...

There is a 42-year-old idiot in my office. She's so freaking stupid I could scream. She's been going on and on and on today about a baby bird she saw that has fallen out of its nest. She has tried to get quite a few of the guys to pick it up and put it back in its nest. She has even been saying a prayer for the little baby bird.

GAG!

tell her that "god must want this angel with him right away, it is his will"

(and then go stomp it)

bwahahaha

Twisted meet Sick...

Sick? Twisted.

I heart this place.

The idiot just had tears in her eyes. I want to scream.

Why didn't she pick it up and put it back in the nest if she's so freaking upset about it? Why does a guy have to do it for her. You wouldn't believe how stupid and immature she acts around the guys here. I can't believe she lived to be 42.

Mooni, you could always pitch the fledgling back into the nest just to shut her up.

Sorry bagga, but I like CDC's suggestion i #1 better. Besides, if I did go put it back in its nest she'd thank me on and on and on all of the rest of the day and probably all tomorrow too. That'd be worse.

Wait until she leaves her office for un momento and then set it on her keyboard.

actually, if anyone touches the bird, the parents will stop caring for it. nobody needs to do anything  - the parents will come down and get it.

(this recently happened at a friend's house)

so the whiny 42 yo baby can shut the F up already, nature has a way of caring for itself. does she cry thinking about all the other baby birds that fell out of their nests? or just the ones she sees?

Nobody needs to do anything. :) isn't nature brilliant?

Original Post by moonikins:

...Why didn't she pick it up and put it back in the nest if she's so freaking upset about it? ...

 Just because its cute and sad doesn't mean its not grooooooosss.  I wouldn't expect someone that obnoxious to actually care.

  Tell her the momma bird kicked it out of the nest because its possessed with a demon and will go to heck if she doesnt take it home and exorcise it.  Im sure that will clear up her tears

Once upon a time I heard that if baby bird is touched by a human (ie gets a strange non-bird scent on it), the mother will abandon the baby.  Plus, if the newly scented chick gets the new scent on other chicks in the nest, the mother will abandon those chicks as well.  So, if this is true, handling the bird to put it back in the nest won't do it much good.  If she really wants it to live she can take it home and attempt to nurture it herself, which probably won't work either (I know that one from personal experience).

Summary: that poor chick is pretty much screwed.

The latest update is UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE! Her stupid tears actually got one of the guys on the repair floor to go out and put the bird back in its nest. She practically fell all over the guy who helped her.

I don't know who's more stupid, the dumb chick or the repair tech who helped her out. 

Original Post by pavlovcat:

Wait until she leaves her office for un momento and then set it on her keyboard.

That's the best suggestion yet.

That's an old wives tale.

Most birds do not have a very well-developed sense of smell. However, most mammalian predators (skunks, foxes, raccoons, weasels, etc.) do have a good sense of smell and may follow your scent trail to a bird's nest. If you are going to handle a baby bird be sure to place it out of harm's way, back in the nest, or in an open-topped cardboard box propped in a tree. However, many bird species are equipped to survive outside the nest at a very young age. These species include many shorebirds, gamebirds, and birds such as robins and wrens. Link

I'll bet the momma bird could smell my office worker's stupity from a mile away.

Original Post by moonikins:

The latest update is UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE! Her stupid tears actually got one of the guys on the repair floor to go out and put the bird back in its nest. She practically fell all over the guy who helped her.

I don't know who's more stupid, the dumb chick or the repair tech who helped her out. 

 EFFING ENABLERS!! ridiculousness.

Original Post by moonikins:

I'll bet the momma bird could smell my office worker's stupity from a mile away.

 maybe she will swoop down and peck her eyes out when she leaves for the day!

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

Original Post by moonikins:

I'll bet the momma bird could smell my office worker's stupity from a mile away.

 maybe she will swoop down and peck her eyes out when she leaves for the day!

 That would make my day.

Original Post by moonikins:

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

Original Post by moonikins:

I'll bet the momma bird could smell my office worker's stupity from a mile away.

 maybe she will swoop down and peck her eyes out when she leaves for the day!

 That would make my day.

LoL!

Original Post by moonikins:

I'll bet the momma bird could smell my office worker's stupity from a mile away.

you just made me spew water all over my monitor

EDIT: says a little prayer for moonikins.

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

Original Post by moonikins:

I'll bet the momma bird could smell my office worker's stupity from a mile away.

 maybe she will swoop down and peck her eyes out when she leaves for the day!

Something like this 

Yes sheila yes. Just like that.