Shnitzel's Diet Diatribes and Distractions! (or Rantings of a Morbidly Obese Lunatic!)

What are other folks doing to accomplish the tough tasks of simultaneously working a full-time job, raising a kid, living a healthy lifestyle and losing weight? What are your diet fears, frustrations, failures and successes?

Me? I'm 5'2", 45 y/o (as of last week), I have hypothyroidism, a start weight of 316.6 pounds, and I'm cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. This is the heaviest I have ever been. I believe that the combination of a high stress job (I worked for the wife of Satan and their spawn), commute from hell (designated as the worst commuting area IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY), and hypothyroidism, contributed to me gaining almost 100 pounds over the course of one year. I have always been fat, and after countless times of trying and failing to lose weight, I concluded that there was nothing I could do about it. Well, a couple of months ago, after my doctor informed me that she would NOT recommend me for bariatric surgery, I came to the profound conclusion that I was on my own if I ever wanted to be at a healthy weight and get off the medications that my doctor is only too happy to prescribe!

I'm not sure what I'm doing, but this is day 20 of my quest to ultimately lose 193 pounds! So far, I've lost 6.1 lbs. UPDATE: Lost 9 pounds as of 3/21/08.

1st diatribe: Diet is "Die" with a "t"! And, exercise must be some sadistic psycho's idea of a joke. My philosophy about exercise is...no pain, no pain!!! Don't judge me for I am weak and immature. I know I'll have to add "exercise" to my daily life, but for now, simply standing for more than a few minutes or walking more than 50 yards causes me extreme pain in my knees and back. Oy!

2nd diatribe: What is with the people who feel compelled to tell you about that 5 pounds they have to lose? 5 pounds? Really? Are we really going there? For a quick 5-lb weight loss, I suggest they try having their brain removed since they're obvisouly not using it. Hey, don't judge me for I am weak and immature.

3rd diatribe: Yes, I have no bananas! I have no bananas today! I'm at work and I forgot my bananas at home. I wanted 1 with my breakfast and 1 with my lunch, but I have no bananas today. I substituted the dreaded pop tarts that were just sitting there in my cabinet, all alone, begging me to eat them. And I did. I toasted them and ate them. Then.....I looked at the box. Ohh, the horror!!! The Horror!!! One...that's 1, un, ein, numero uno, single...strawberry cheese danish pop tart has 200 calories!! OMG! What the....? Why the heck do they come in a package of 2 when 1 pastry is 1 serving?! Curse you Kellogg's!!! Just makes me want to spit nails!!! I don't like pop tarts that much! Farewell, offensive, calorie-laden pastry!

I plan on posting my progress here, so stay tuned...and feel free to add your own pet peeves or whatever.

Guess nobody wants to post anything here...Oh well, I'm used to being alone and talking to myself. Why should this be any different?

Random thoughts...

Lipstick on a Pig!

I am alone, but I'm not by myself.

What's it all about? Alfie?

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Official weigh-in today: 315 pounds. Three weeks. I don't know if an average of 2000 calories/day is too little or too much. Eat too much, gain weight; eat too little, gain weight.

Edited: to delete major whining.

Tracy Tracy Tracy

 

Snap out of it!!!!!!!! 6# is a start. Ive been on the diet yo yo my whole life. Im 56 and this last time I started I was 265#. Im 207 this morning, and I finally ate my calorie goal yesterday. I still lost a pound today. If you need to rant and rave, feel free to add me to your Buddy list. I'll Listen and try to give you some motivation. Leanna

Tracy,  I am almost 53.  I will be 53 on Thursday.  If I say it enough maybe I won't cringe at the number and immediately want to console myself with food....Numbers have always been hard for me.  Not always my age but weight numbers have ALWAYS been an issue.  I am going to learn  to eat for my health from here on.  I am not saying I will never eat anything that I love ever again but I will eat normal sized portions and I will eat it less often.  I will learn to enjoy salads without them being drenched in high fat, high calorie dressing and additions like croutons.  I will eat lean protein and not the fatty cuts that make me sick anyway.  I will make better choices and so can you.  Vegetables can be delicious and fruit is delicious.  We can do this!  We can.

Have you put your stats in on your account page?  It will tell you how many calories you burn daily and tell you how many you eat to maintain your present weight.  You can choose how many you want to eat from there.  If you eat 500 less that you need to maintain you will lose 1 pound a week.  If you eat 1000 less than you need to maintain you will lose 2 pounds a week.  Do not eat less than 1200 calories a day.  That is something you and I will not have to worry about for a while as our weight allows us to eat many more than that and still have a deficit.

If I have explained this wrong I hope one of the veterans on this site will correct me.  I began this campaign to regain my health on New Years day and I have been a member here less than 1 month so I am just learning too.

Feel free to make me your buddy.  I will add you to my list as well.

You have a great sense of humor.  Try not to be so hard on yourself.  Also try to stop the negative talk.  Everytime you catch yourself doing it  STOP and think of something that you can say about yourself that is positive.  I am trying to practice that as well.

Karen

 

GAAAHHH!!! Why is CC+ listing a McDonald's Big Mac sandwich under my Food Suggestions? Those 2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun aren't exactly high on my list of acceptable foods for someone to eat while trying to lose weight!!! That makes me crazy every time I see that stupid list of recommendations. Why doesn't it just list a Tub O' Lard? Friggin fraggin *mumbling to myself*...

The 5 Stages of Diet Grief...

I've come to the conclusion the 5 stages of grief that occur during a catastrophic personal loss/event also applies when dieting; thus, the 5 Stages of Diet Grief.

The 5 stages are:

1. Denial (the initial stage): "Nuh, uh, I’m not out of shape. Round is a shape.”
2. Anger: "Why me? It's not fair! Curse my parents and their vile genes!"
3. Bargaining: "Please, Mr. Scale, if you show I lost weight this week, I promise I won’t throw you out the window."
4. Depression: "What’s the point? Why bother with even trying?"
5. Acceptance: "Water, fruit and veggies are my friends."

As with any other catastrophic loss, the stages do not have to be experienced in the order as listed above. Personally, I cycle through all of the stages quite a bit - sometimes in the span of just a couple of minutes, especially when I step on the scale (the order is usually this: bargaining, denial, anger, depression, more anger, more depression, acceptance).

Just my observation of my own personal experience and of reading some of the posts on CC+. Seems to make sense to me, but then again, I have become... quite... insane! Mwahahahahaha, m-kay?  

Loved the 5 stage theory!  I have visited every one of them.  :)

 

 

Zippity Doo Dah, Zippity Yay; my, oh my, what a wonderful day!!! I couldn't resist, I just couldn't, I tell you!!! I stepped on the scale this morning. I know, I know - my OCD is getting waaay out of control, but that's entirely a whole other issue. But, oh happy day, Mr. Scale said I weigh 310.2 pounds! Woo hoo. I think I'll break the 310 barrier by Saturday, I really do!

Okay, Kashi ain't so bad. I just need to drink more water, since too much fiber and too little water apparently equals a bad night in the Hamptons (huh, what the heck does that mean? I don't even know where that came from). Intestinal blockage is bad, m-kay?

What's the plan today? Well, it's steady as she goes! Aye, aye, Cap'n!! That reminds me, where be me water jug, matey? ARrrrr.

Water helps, but tea makes me pee!!

Must have tinkled about 20 times yesterday. I'm beginning to think that it's not the water itself that helps with weight loss, it's running to the bathroom all the time that burns those extra calories, which is the real cause for losing weight! Note to self: check for "running to bathroom" in Activity database; add 20 times to Activity Log. hahaha

Good news: BROKE THE 310 BARRIER! Now at 309.

My January 2008 Weight Loss and Nutrition Report

January 7 Start Weight: 316.6
January 31 End Weight: 309.8

January Loss: 6.8 (2.1%)       Total Loss: 6.8 (2.1%)

Fat - 35.3% (1,872 grams) – Ooo, need to get this down a bit, but I LOVE CHEEEEeeeese!
Protein - 19.0% (2,266 grams) – need to get this up a bit
Carbohydrates - 45.6% (5,436 grams) – I’m okay with this

Daily Calorie Intake - 1,893 cals – not bad
Daily Sodium Intake - 4,797 mg – not good
Daily Cholesterol Intake - 323 mg – uhhmm?
Daily Fiber Intake - 20 grams – “I NEED MORE COW BELL!”

Overall, I'm pretty happy with the results for the month, considering I didn't start until January 7. Pretty darn good, Trace, pretty darn good. *pats self on back and begins to sing theme song to Mary Tyler Moore...you're gonna make it after all...* Umm, I gotta go... I've got that special feeling... again!

Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Dish of Desserts, I will fear no Pastries; for Thunder-thighs art with me!

The banana and the mango, they comfort me Safety on the table in the midst of mine enemies My food shall not be annointed with oil and my cup runneth over with water. Surly good health and sex appeal with be with me all the days of my life and I will wear a size 6 forever

Good one!!! I LOVE IT!

I WENT OVER MY DAILY CALORIE LIMIT!!!  I WENT OVER MY DAILY CALORIE LIMIT!!! AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

I don't know why I was so hungry. Why did I have to eat the whole thing? I feel SO bloated now, yuck!

Well, it's not a complete disaster. At least, I didn't overeat on junk food; I actually ate mostly healthy stuff today. I ate about 2500 calories today, which is my maintenance level, so if I meet my 2000 daily limit the rest of the week, I should still see a little bit lower number on the scale by Saturday. Oh well, pobody's nerfect. After all...tomorrow is another day.

Doing pretty well on the 'eating lifestyle' front (that is, no cravings to rant about, or whatever), so nothing to complain about there. Mr. Scale was up a bit this a.m., but considering I ate like a freaking pig last night, I sort of expected it. Mr. Scale was unsympathetic, but then again, he never is. Mr. Scale never lets me hide anything I eat; he throws it back in my face encapsulated in a huge 2-inch, day-glo red, numerical display, mocking me as he makes me wait for his poundage proclamation! Curse you, Mr. Scale, curse you! I love to hate Mr. Scale. Maybe one day, we will be friends, but today is not that day, and tomorrow is not looking too good either.

Sticking with it! 307 as of this morning. It's almost 7:00pm and I've only had a little under 1200 calories for the day. Although I am waiting for my homemade chicken/sausage/shrimp gumbo to finish cooking, which is what I plan on having for dinner in just a few minutes. I think I can afford to have some cornbread too! Yummers!!

Don't you love it when that happens?

I have not been losing at 1600 - 1700 cals/day -- afraid I may have to decrease.  Yuck!

I love the diatribes, but then, my sense of humor is kind of dark.

I know it's seriously annoying to hear about people wanting to lose 5 lbs or just wanting to tone up, but that is human nature.  We're rarely satisfied with what we have and woman, especially, tend to want to fix whatever we perceive as wrong with us even if it's so minor as to be ridiculous.

I am completely with you on the serving size issue, who eats one pop tart when 2 come in the package?

Look for mollymouser, xstarx, and sun123, they all have either past or current experience with shedding a lot of weight.

Also, look for some good substitutes for the things you like instead of depriving yourself entirely.  hungrygirl.com has some great information and it's free. 

I was naughty today. Oh yes, very nauuuuughty! *says in a prolonged and sinister tone, and grins*

Alas, I succumbed to the dreaded...dunt,dunt,dunt,daaahhh...Chocolate Turtle Chex Mix!!! AAAaaaahhhhh! *runs away, shrieking and flailing arms wildly*

Hahaha you're hilarious.

 I like to psychologically condition myself to hear something different when I see "Diet." I pronounce it dee-et. Like Diet of Werms. (Dee-et of Vurms)

See? Painless. All that comes to mind is a meeting of important people and resultant excommunication!

Excommunication, eh? Uhm, I'm not Catholic.

Ohhhh, I get it.

Cabbage Diet becomes the Baggage Dee-et.

Dolly Pardon Diet becomes the Don Pardo Dee-et.

Coconut Diet becomes Cuckoo Dee-et.

Give me some time; I'll come up with some more.

GOOD ONES!

Hahah I'm not Catholic either. I was referring to the "diet" (German for "council" and pronounced "dee-et") of Catholic clergymen that met to decide Martin Luther's fate in the days of the European Reformation. It was held in a city in Germany called "Verms" (pronounced "worms")- so now we call it the Diet of Verms (and at that diet they decided Luther would be excommunicated). It always makes me laugh...so yeah, thankfully none of us are on a Diet of Verms :)

Sincerely, European History Freak