Still in shock! People are unbelievable!

Like many on CC I struggle with food/exercise/body image issues. I lost 60lbs 3 1/2 years ago, got down to a too-low weight, have suffered for 6 months with binge-eating episodes followed by restriction, etc. So I am a little sensitive to anything to do with my weight. I have gained around 5 lbs - I needed too, but it is hard to accept. Anyway, I had a co-worker come up to me the other day, look me up and down and then physically reach out and with both hands grab the roll of loose skin and fat on my stomach. She said "Wow, you are getting quite a fat roll there, what happened? Did you stop running?" WTF would posses someone to do something so hurtful and brazen? I was so taken aback that I just stared in shock and then left. What would posses someone to make such a comment but to actually grab my stomach ?!?!? I have had 2 kids and lost a lot of weight - nothing will help that roll short of surgery. Can you believe that. And for the record, this lady is not exactly the picture of health and fitness. I am glad I am semi-stable or that could have sent me over the edge.

That's horrifying!  I would guess that this person has been watching you very closely (perhaps with jealousy?)  If it were a co-worker of mine, I feel certain I would let them know in some diplomatic way that what they did was hurtful and inappropriate and that I would not want to hear any more comments from them regarding my weight.   And who told this person they could touch your body!  Foul! Red flag!  Penalty!

Oh dear.....how awefull. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I am really sorry. You know, that is just things we have to put up with. We have to understand and get it in our heads that all people who are insensitive, harmfull, hurtfull, etc actually have suffered themselves. Instead of making us feel bad, we should feel sad for them because someone probably did that to them as well.

Original Post by newdays18:

...If it were a co-worker of mine, I feel certain I would let them know in some diplomatic way that what they did was hurtful and inappropriate and that I would not want to hear any more comments from them regarding my weight.   

you'd be diplomatic?  not me . 

crazy people are funny, aren't they?

You look FANTASTIC.  She's obviously a nut.  She had no right to touch you, either.  I agree with the post above, that she likely has been eyeing you with jealousy.  BTW: cute kids! (your clones...)

V.

Holy hell, that is about the rudest thing I've ever heard!  Honestly,  while I wouldn't want to be labeled as a tattle tale, this is the kind of thing I would seriously consider talking to HR about.  Her actions were not only rude, they were extremely inappropriate for the workplace.  Hopefully this isn't someone you're at all close to.  Otherwise, you could always go for some passive-aggressive fun and make comments right back to her...just depends on your personality ;)

What a crazy woman. I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm creepy and looked at your pictures--you look great!! I don't even know why someone would have the balls to do that.

People never cease to amaze me.  What that woman did was wrong on SOOOOO many levels.  She is lucky you didnt report her to Human Resources. 

Look at it this way....you may 'think' that you have a roll of fat and are sensitive to it....but this woman has and probably always will be uneducated, uncouth and insensitive.  In my book, you win.

Tell HR.  This person is barely operating on a kindergarten level.  Trying to confront her yourself would not be satisfying. 

Obviously you are mature and professional on the job so I commend you for that. You could have just looked at her and said " if that's true then I guess WE are in the same boat" and then sashayed away. Don't let her or anyone else steal your joy by trying to deflect their feelings of inadequacy on you

Love that "sashay away" advice.  Let's all "sashay" today.  :)

Original Post by newdays18:

Love that "sashay away" advice.  Let's all "sashay" today.  :)

 LOL...I read an interview with Beyonce where she was talking about how she will just break out into her sexy walk sometimes to boost her mood. Now that I think about it I saw a special on Rupaul yeas ago and he was showing some of his female relatives how to "work it" with their walks. It was hilarious, he was like "titties, titties, titties" telling them to stick their chests out and let them guide them as they walked ROFL

So ladies that is your assignment for today...especially you mokeskalo

Wherever you walk today; stick your chest out (even if you have no boobies hahaha), shoulders back, suck in your gut (it's great ab exercise), point your toes and sashay away...

"People are gonna talk about you whether you are doing good, bad, or nothing at all so you might as well be doing/feeling good!" So give them something to talk about!!!

I can't believe she actually grabbed you! That is the rudest thing I've ever heard and I am so sorry.

I hate being touched by people I am not extremely close to. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT! Call me unstable but I would have punched her in the face! I would have completely lost it and gotten fired. Props for keeping your cool you are the bigger person. :) 

There is absolutely no reason for anyone to be touching anyone else in the workplace.  If a man had done that to you, he could be called up for sexual harassment (not that same-sex harassment isn't just as bad, but you know what I mean). 

I cannot FREAKING BELIEVE what some people deem acceptable behavior. 

And for what it's worth, I think you look fantastic.  10x better than a lot of people who have never even had any kids (like me haha).  Don't let her full-of-crap comments get you down, but DO call her on the completely inappropriate physical contact if she ever does it again.   

sorry about this but you coulda been like ya isn't it great.... have you seen pics of my beautiful kids?  they gave that to me.  hehe anyway I only replied to this post cuz you don't have a journal for me to comment in & I wanted to tell you wo you look AMAZING!!!  I can't fathom your before & after pic. so impressive and motivational, you have done so great.  hope you can be like watev & know how hot you are.

Tjlo

Hun in my opinion, those that express that much concern in your appearance, are in reality, insecure with their own.  Do not let her wreck your confidence. Bravo on gaining the 5lbs.  Don't let this insecure sad RUDE woman wreck your goals for yourself. Just feel sorry for HER.

just remember that what people say and do is about THEM, not you.  

your co-worker's behaviour has more to do with her own emotional baggage than anything else.  she likely feels vulnerable about her own flabby bits - that's why she looks for them in others.  maybe she's tried to get fit and failed, and now lashes out against anyone who succeeds.  who knows?  all I know is that her behaviour is NOT about you.

learn to love the one soft spot you have left - it's a reminder of all the hard work you've done to get to where you are.  

Wow, that's rude. Sounds like she's incredibly jealous. I would complain to someone above you at work.

I really don't know what I would do.  Probably what you did -- stare in shock. Following up though I would totally shun that person so they clearly knew what they did was unacceptable.  

One thing that is true however:  People rarely know the depth of emotional turmoil that goes on within others.  You can be certain that whatever is going on in your co-worker's mind is all she's thinking about.