went shopping today....

So I used to be a 13 (and only in a select few brands..) before I became pregnant. I've gotten down to a five now but for some reason in shorts I'm a 7. Redardless when I was looking for shorts today I actually found myself trying to casually hide the fact that the tag on the pair I was carrying said a 7 instead of a 5. When I realized what I was doing it jsut hit me. What the heck is wrong with us? There is NOTHING wrong with a 7 and yet I felt like everyone around me would think that I was a fat hog for having to get that size. I mean even if it was a 13 still or a 20 nobody else cares what size you are. I obviously have issues but I'm positive I"m not the only one. Does this ever go away?

I recall myself in stores crouching down to find my size in a giant pile of jeans topped off by 0s and 1s and 2s and single digit numbers, then pulling out a pair of 13s and folding them against myself as if everyone was silently thinking "oh, a fat girl". When they're not. They're thinking of the clothes they're going to try on. We're much more critical of ourselves than others; we see ourselves at our absolute worst.

I'm not a 13 anymore either, I'm a 9, but I act similarly. I suggest thinking of all the progress you've made, and the progress you're going to make if you haven't reached your goal yet. You should be extremely proud of yourself and you have no reason to be ashamed.

:)

You know the only reason there are so many 0s 1s and 2s when you go shopping is because hardly no one fits into them! That's why they are always on the clearance racks. So the only thing that people will think badly about you for is that you took the last of their size!

hahahaha! SO TRUE!!!!

I never thought of it that way! I used to get sooo frustrated when I couldn't find my size on the clearance racks (I'm a 5-7 too) and I never put two and two together that it's because everyone's about that size. I was in the dressing room yesterday, and nothing was fitting, which was stressing me out (d*** skinny jeans. . . ) and overheard this conversation:

mother: those look really tight on you, are you sure you don't want the next size?

daughter: no, these are fine.

mother: you're not a 1-2 anymore. I'll get you some 3-4's.

daughter: I'm NOT a 3-4!

mother: you're growing up, sweetie. You can't be a kid forever.

It was so poignant! When I walked out of the dressing room, the girl and her mom were coming out too, and she was this little teenager with braces and glasses and awkward hair (you know, the way everyone is around 12-13) and it hit me: I'm not supposed to be her size. She's a full decade younger than me. Why am I aspiring to fit into the same clothes as kids I could babysit? Sometimes it's too easy to fall prey to what the ads and magazines and racks are telling us we should look like when what we really need to do is get a good dose of reality.