How can I show him that I love him?

It's a rough patch at the moment, we're getting married in 12 months.

Finances are a struggle and we both have different personalities when it comes to money, we are both considering changing jobs, we are looking to buy our first house, then there's the wedding planning, the dance lessons, the housework, the fact that I am considering starting a part time evening degree, my car has just failed MOT and cost us £300, and now the computer has blown up so we've got to find another £200 to replace it.

Sometimes we come togther when there are issues, sometimes we end up blaming each other and arguing.  I love him so much, I can't wait to be his wife but it seems so difficult at the moment, we haven't had sex in about 3 weeks, it used to be almost every day, it's mainly my fault, I just can't seem to get in the mood at the moment. 

How can we look forward to a life together when this is life at the moment? 

you need to tackle one issue at a time. don't think about EVERYTHING that is going on, just focus on one thing today. if it takes you a week to resolve the issue, then so be it. then, once that issue is handled, tackle the next big thing. sit down and write out a list of stuff you have going on.... changing jobs, buying a house, wedding plans, etc. then, as you get each issue handled, cross it off the list. don't try to tackle everything at once, because then it is overwhelming for you.

the stress of everything is probably why you aren't in the mood. one night, you need to just relax and stop thinking. have a couple glasses of wine, and seduce your man.

My husband and I have been through some rough times.  Getting through them together, relying on one another, working toward our goals together... Those are the experiences that confirm to me that our marriage is solid.

I agree with mamaaa that you should tackle these things one at a time, to the extent that it is possible.  Prioritize together.  Come up with a game plan.

This time next year you are going to say "I do" knowing full well that the two of you can solve any challenge that is set in front of you.  Think of how wonderful that will be.  Not everyone gets that opportunity.

Thanks both, you were / are completely right.  We have still got a lot on but we are working through them.  We can't buy a house until we know where we are both going to be working, so that's on the back burner for now, nothing that we can do.

I am going to interviews for jobs, if anything great pops up then I'll be happy but for now my current job is safe, it;s him that needs to find out what his options are (redundnacy or transfer, but we don;t know where the transfer option is to).

And I've postponed my degree, I really want to do it but I can start it in 3 months, or 6 or 12 months, whenever, so we decided that it;s best not to pile more pressure on.

And Julie, you are so right about next year, I'm lucky to have someone that I know will support me through anything, he helps me make my own decisions and supports me no matter what I decide.  I guess it's a caseof choosing our priorities at the time.

Hey,

Keep holding on there. These are all challenges and trials of life. Life will have its ups and downs, and most certainly the little problems here and there and the big ones. Thats what actually spices life up :D. However what is important between the two of you is to keep the attitude that no matter what the challenges are, you guys are going to face it together, and solve it. And like the people above said: Look at how much closer you guys would have gotten after you guys face and solve these problems together. so patience :P

And most certainly again like the above replys, don't tackle all the things at once, or you will be too overwhelmed. One thing at a time. Plus its all in your thinking pattern, if you think negative like omg we are going through such a tough time and oh no i got to get another job, our house, my computer!!... most surely everything will seem big and wont get done. If you take the positive attitude and understand that no matter what the problem, its solvable: then you see, house, your new job, your school, all of them out of the window for the time being. Take it easy, and don't put too much pressure on yourselves.
Hope that helps

I can only agree with what the others have said.

Talk things over, prioritise together. Make lists with pros and cons if you get stuck.

Try to do some fun things too, to get away from all the stress.

Agree not to talk about the things that are bothering you for the night, and do things you used to do when you first met. I'm not saying spend money (that's probably the last thing you want to do), but enjoy eachothers company.

you will remember why you want to marry him and one thing follows another.

good luck, and remember, everyone goes through rough patches, but great couples come out the other end stronger.