Showing confidence

So this has probably been covered somewhere on this site since pretty much everything has but I wanted to tell an experience.

A big group of friends and I used to go bowling every wednesday last winter and we would always invite more and more people to come the next week. One week a group of girls from the university came and a couple of them were overweight. One was wearing a really tight shirt.

One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "I cant believe that girl is wearing that! That is not attractive and she shouldnt be wearing anything that tight"

I told my boyfriend what this guy said and my boyfriend said, "I liked that she was wearing that shirt. Even tho she is bigger, it shows that she has confidence in herself and thats a lot more attractive"

So I am kind of asking the boys (but girls chime in please!) this: What do you think the girl should do? Hide her rolls of chub that are "unattractive" and find clothes that better fit, or wear what she wants proudly and show confidence?

Ok, I'm a girl, but here's my take:  Be confident and wear flattering clothing that suits your body.  A super tight shirt with rolls showing probably is not the most flattering thing she could have picked.  Nor is a feed sack.  But something that actually fit well would have been the best choice.  If I wear something that fits well, I have more confidence in my appearance than if I am self conscious about people staring at me because something is too tight or ill-fitting.

have you seen "people of walmart"?

Those girls should change.

Girls that aren't sticks but still want to rock the tighter look: completely different story.

Final answer: Depends on the girl. I do think there is a line, but where exactly it's drawn, I'm not sure.

Original Post by adolphs:

Ok, I'm a girl, but here's my take:  Be confident and wear flattering clothing that suits your body.  A super tight shirt with rolls showing probably is not the most flattering thing she could have picked.  Nor is a feed sack.  But something that actually fit well would have been the best choice.  If I wear something that fits well, I have more confidence in my appearance than if I am self conscious about people staring at me because something is too tight or ill-fitting.

 i agree with this! i don't necessarily think that just putting what ever you've got out there on display shows confidence. some clothes are just NOT flattering to certain body shapes, and to me show a lack of taste more than they show confidence.  

Original Post by priceless7:

One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "I cant believe that girl is wearing that! That is not attractive and she shouldnt be wearing anything that tight"

I told my boyfriend what this guy said and my boyfriend said, "I liked that she was wearing that shirt. Even tho she is bigger, it shows that she has confidence in herself and thats a lot more attractive"

So I am kind of asking the boys (but girls chime in please!) this: What do you think the girl should do? Hide her rolls of chub that are "unattractive" and find clothes that better fit, or wear what she wants proudly and show confidence?

Well, your boyfriend is either a lot more tactful or a lot nicer than a lot of guys I've known.  Keep him.  :-)

I've heard a lot of guys make rude remarks about girls in the same situation.  Now, mind you, those guys were jerks who aren't worth dating anyway, but I would lean toward finding clothes that fit properly (aren't too tight or too loose), flatter your figure and make you look and feel awesome in them.  And I wouldn't be doing that for the guys; I'd be doing it for myself.

As I've said in a thousands posts similar to this, I really don't care what people wear. But for the sake of arguement, I think she should wear something flattering to her figure. But flattering can be subjective to each individual, what's she wearing could be flattering to herself in her eyes.

I suppose the rolls are gonna be there whether she hides them or not. *shrug*

She has more confidence than me, that's for sure.

Original Post by jules817:

Original Post by adolphs:

Ok, I'm a girl, but here's my take:  Be confident and wear flattering clothing that suits your body.  A super tight shirt with rolls showing probably is not the most flattering thing she could have picked.  Nor is a feed sack.  But something that actually fit well would have been the best choice.  If I wear something that fits well, I have more confidence in my appearance than if I am self conscious about people staring at me because something is too tight or ill-fitting.

 i agree with this! i don't necessarily think that just putting what ever you've got out there on display shows confidence. some clothes are just NOT flattering to certain body shapes, and to me show a lack of taste more than they show confidence.  

 I agree with all of this.

When I was 60 lbs. heavier, the only tops I wore were XXL t-shirts, sometimes XL. I made sure that my rolls were never that visible (to me anyway). I'm still overweight, but I'm OK enough with my smaller rolls, that yeah, I'll wear a snugger fitting top. I'm not talking Gus-Gus from the Cinderella movie tight, just closer fitting. To each their own, but I think we all know when that line of bad taste has been crossed (again peopleofwalmart.com).

lbh - I absolutely love that tshirt you have on in your pic. Love it!!

I agree with LBH, adolphs, cptbunny.... I think confidence is great and about 50% of looking good. the other 50% is choosing flattering clothes. No matter your body type. I'm not a fan of letting all the goods hang out and skin tight clothes all the time, no matter a person's weight. Taste and class go a long way.

ps: how great is peopleofwalmart.com? In a totally scary, great way of course.

Original Post by april_bride:

lbh - I absolutely love that tshirt you have on in your pic. Love it!!

I agree with LBH, adolphs, cptbunny.... I think confidence is great and about 50% of looking good. the other 50% is choosing flattering clothes. No matter your body type. I'm not a fan of letting all the goods hang out and skin tight clothes all the time, no matter a person's weight. Taste and class go a long way.

ps: how great is peopleofwalmart.com? In a totally scary, great way of course.

 Thanks! I like how it shows off my smaller rolls . Seriously, I don't know how to control myself in Rue 21...Some of the coolest stuff in there.

I think your boyfriend is a nice guy, and definitely more forgiving than most people.  However, even though the other guy was quite rude about it - he has a point.

I definitely don't think that everyone needs to be a size 2 (I'm certainly not!), or have the perfect body to wear cute clothes - and if you don't you should just give it up and wear t-shirts. 

There are cute styles and clothes for every body type!  I've seen heavier girls that look great because they've chosen to flatter their best features, and I think it's the ones who try and fit into a size 8 when they're a size 18 that do all the other curvier girls an injustice! 

Perhaps in this particular situation this girl didn't look as bad as your bf's friend was making it out to be.  But at any size - it's possible to be beautiful! :)

I think everyone has the right to wear what they want---but that's no guarantee that anyone else is going to find it attractive. Cest la vie.