The Significant Other Factor

I'm sure a lot of you are dealing with this challenge, so I thought I'd create a place to rant.

My boyfriend knows I'm watching everything and being careful, but he seems to take the opportunity to taunt me with foods he knows I can't afford to eat (like delicious, ghee slathered naan) or take huge bites of my food.  I tried to tell him that I can't count calories for one serving minus one bite, so basically he's taking calories that I won't get to eat, but I think I just hurt his feelings.

But it's not all him, of course.  He's a complete sweetheart about most things...but eating less can make my moods pretty shaky.  I snap more easily and I'm quiet and irritable.  I know I'll adjust to the calorie restriction, but with the combined stresses of hunger, school, and work, it's been a tough week.  I know I've been trying his patience a lot.

So, what do your significant others do to derail you guys?

ooo great topic! okay a major factor why i gained so much flippin weight was my b/f. we've been dating for over 4 years and i gained about 70 pounds during that time (due to multiple factors). but my b/f LOVES mexican food. he swears he was  a mexican in a past life! that's what he always suggests for us to eat. that or chinese food. so tonight when he's running through ideas for dinner here's what i get: mexican, chinese, mcdonalds, pizza. i'm like NO! and he gets frustrated b/c i tell him i dont want to eat any of that! it took me so long to be able to resist those foods when he suggests them but now i can and i'm so glad!

Oh, I can SO sympathize with you about the "taking bites" syndrome. My ex boyfriend used to say, "Oh, can I try that?", and then take a huge bite out of a pretty small serving. And mind you, this was after I had asked him if he wanted the same thing I was having. He'd say no, and then say, "Well, I'll just have a bite". It used to irritate the heck out of me (That, and a few other things!)

This my exact situation too! My BF was the reason I gained weight in the first place; I would just eat the same amount, at the same times, as he. He is skinny skinny, extremely active in work and play, and actually has a hard time gaining weight. One year and 20 pounds later, I decided something needed to be done! At first he was very apprehensive about my 'diet', he always said all I needed to do was work out and then I could eat whatever I wanted, and that I was sexy the way I was, etc. etc.

After a month or two when he started seeing how much better my lifestyle change was making me feel, he gave me his support. When I sat down with him and explained exactly how I was going about losing weight, safely, and for my health, he felt a lot better about it. Now I can easily keep up with him on our backpacking trips, and he knows I can handle almost anything he can now, so we have more trail options, and I can DO MORE fun things!!!

He still has moments when he tries to get me to go out to McDonalds or eat an entire pizza with him, but I flat out tell him that kind of food doesn't sound appealing anymore, and I might have a bite, but I'm not going to pig out quite like he does sometimes. I think it's something I'll just have to keep working on and watching, because it's my responsibility to watch what I eat, not his. 

My husband just frustrates me, because it seems like he eats three times the amount I do and he weighs 150 at 6'. We've been together 8 years, and I've never been under 200 lbs. and I think half the problem is, he's completely happy with my weight! I hate to cite that as a 'problem' but it does give me less motivation to change anything when my hubby already thinks I'm a hottie! :P

 Overall, however, he's very supportive, and he'll walk/ride a bike/run with me, and when I make "diet food" he always compliments me on it. :)

Ack! Double post!

im very excited that my b/f is finally going to go riding with me this weekend! i trained all summer for a triathlon and he would never go work out with me but he ifnally is!

When it comes to taking bites of my food...that's my kids.  I make myself a snack and make sure it portion it properly and the next think I know, my daughter has stole my grapes...and she doesn't know how many and I can't remember how many I already ate!  Or they will take pieces from my "100 calorie" pack of mini rice cakes!  DARN THEM!! 

 As for the Hubby...my problem with him is that he really needs a diet worse then me (he's 6' and 215lbs...all in the middle).  But he wants to constantly go out to dinner and eat out...he understands that I can't eat the same things as I used to, but there are just so few choices when you go out...especially with kids!  But he just eats and eats and NEVER exercises...but then bugs me about eating "rabbit food" and always having to go to the gym (I only go 3 days a week....geezzz!)

It's just tough when they don't understand how difficult it is.  He doesn't want to join me in the journey although I think he should at least try.

Ok...I'm done ranting! 

i am on board with this forum!  i was at my very happy and healthy weight of 135 (BMI 21) when i met my boyfriend.  Now that we have been living together for a year, I am up to 155 (BMI 25)!  He is so sweet, as he tells me all the time he loves me just how I am.  But what is hard is that he is trying HARD to put ON weight.  He is 6'2" and has a goal weight of 180 (he's at 165 right now).  So he needs lots of food, lots of carbs, lots of protein, etc.  So, the house is always STOCKED.  When I lived alone I had no problem watching what I ate, because if it wasn't in my house, I wouldn't eat it.  Now  my house is full of yummy foods that he eats CONSTANTLY. 

 Anyway, with the wedding approaching, it is time for me to stop blaming HIS eating habits for my weight gain and take some responsibility and self control for myself!! 

I know I can do it, but it sure is hard!  So it is nice to have people who experience the same thing as support!   

"The Significant Other Factor"

I must say that it was disappointing to hear that so many of you have significant others who are making your attempts at weight loss and eating healthier more challenging. My hope is that you persevere, and that they become more supportive and less obstructionist as you continue to eat well.

My wonderful DH represents the other side of the coin. In the six weeks since I've been dieting, he has been over-the-top supportive, encouraging, cooperative, and helpful.  As I went through the cupboards, pantry, fridge and freezer and cleaned out "problem" foods for me, he just smiled and either (1) took them to work; (2) hid them on the bottom shelf of the freezer; or (3) moved them out of sight so they won't tempt me. He is very gracious at the store and asks if something will tempt me before he adds it to the cart. And he's agreed to only go out to dinner/lunch with me to places that will work on my diet ... Applebees, Macaroni Grill, Boston Market, Panda Express and Denny's.

At my request, he bought me a bike ... and has been "pimping it out" quite nicely. He even bought one, too, so he can keep me company on bike rides! And he bought me (at my request) some good walking shoes. And he went with me to join a Fitness Center and has agreed to go with me twice a week as my personal coach and trainer.  And he's offered to get me this nifty treadmill we saw at Sports Authority (once it goes on sale.)

To keep me motivated and encouraged, he's promised me some nice incentives for sticking with my diet .....

LOSE 50 POUNDS .... trip to Hawaii

LOSE 100 POUNDS ...trip anywhere in the world

Woo hoo! Isn't that pretty exciting? I've lost 31 pounds so far, that's only 19 more to get my trip to Hawaii! And I hope to have my trip around the world in hand by late next year ..... YAY!

=^..^=  MOLLY

Hey, was someone peeking at my journal entry today!?!?  Lol

As I've been losing he's been gaining.  Neither of us have ever been a model of healthy weight.  He is fighting every step I take to make healthier meals (except all the grilling I'm doing), he drinks soda like I drink water, and he has exercised with me a total of 4 times in the past year.  I should be grateful for that I guess. 

And then he will applaud my "cheating".  Mind you, I am very good about staying in my calories and even when I'm having a splurge day I still try to be very good to not go too far overboard.  I'm very proud of that!  He saw me eating tortilla chips last weekend.  I counted them in my calories and I stayed in my calories that day.  He said..."I saw you cheating...good.  You need to enjoy yourself more often.  You didn't count them, right?"  I told him I did.  He was shocked.  I told him if I didn't count them I'd be lying to me and it's not a good lie because I already know the truth.  He didn't get it.

I'm not even going to get into the grocery shopping hassles.

Taunting you with food?  Taking huge bites from your limited allowed food?  I'm sorry, but he doesn't sound like a "sweetheart, " he sounds like a diet saboteur. 

I'd deal with the taunting directly, by telling him how it makes you feel.  Perhaps he just doesn't have enough empathy to understand that what he's doing is mean.

As for taking large bites, you could  prepare a little bit more (emphasis on little) and then  offer him a bit.  Be proactive -- you cut off a piece to give him, if at all possible.   I wouldn't let him decide how much of it he wants.   If he accuses you of being stingy, then tell him you'd be happy to make some more of it for him later.  

 

 

When I first met my DH, he used to expect me to eat the same as he did - even though he's a foot taller and weighs almost 100 lbs more than I do.  He was truly deluded on what constituted a "portion" for me.  I guess he'd always dated taller women, or they just didn't care! :)  As for food, I don't think he's been grocery shopping in 10 years, so that's pretty easy for me! 

We did have to change some patterns, however.  He used to love to bring me food treats (chocolate, Frostys from Wendy's, cake) to cheer me up when I was down, or as a show of love - because he loves food, and it makes him happy.  It took a few times of leaving the treats untouched in the fridge for days or weeks before he realized I really meant it when I said I loved the thought behind the gesture, but that I did not want to eat them.  Now he's great, and doesn't push food at all.

Now that DH is on a sodium restricted diet, and for the first time in his life is reading food labels, he understands a bit more of what I've had to do regarding food for pretty much my entire life.  Now he reminds me that we are not "siamese twins" and that we don't have to eat the same things. 

i agree with mollymouser my boyfriend is the positive other side.  He's not neccessarily counting calories with me, but asks about how many calories are in this, and asks how my quest is going and keeps me motivated.  He even bought me some new running shoes for my birthday, and gave them to me a month early so I could train in them before my race, two days before my birthday.

he does slip up sometimes when serving me food, his idea of a portion is a little skewed.  But I just tell him, I don't need to eat all of that, give me about half and he'll fix it.  He's also taken an interest in healthier cooking.  He's a great cook and will take what I've been teaching him about cc to make something delish and low cal.

hopefully your guys will come around to our side soon!

My SO is just unbelievably awsome. Back when I worked and he didn't (now it's the opposite) he made me diet approriate food. He also tries to stop me when I over eat.

But we looooove to watch TV and drink a few beers or some wine and munch! And he's super thin and the kind of person who doesn't eat if htye are stressed. So I have to gt on him to eat.

My main problems with him are: When hoe looks at my body I feel fat and ugly and embarrased and that does the opposite of motivate me, and that there is nothing better in the world than me and my Jimmikins and a nice cold guinnes. And of course if I drink beer I have extra calories + lower inhibitions which equal fatass. :(