Significant Others

I was looking for some feedback from people who are well on their way to maintaining a new healthy weight.  I am getting started with gaining weight.  Right now my bmi is 16.  I always used to worry about being overweight and my husband not being attracted to me anymore.  Now, I have gone to the oppposite extreme and I am very underweight and unattractive to my husband.

What has been the experience of other people as far as their significant others feelings/reactions as you gained weight.  I feel like this is the only place I can ask this question seeing most women worry about their husbands losing interest because they gain too much weight.

Thanks!!!

honestly, my husband prefers me with a bit more on me.  And, as you regain the weight, your libido comes back....and they definitely like that.  :)  Plus, your moods are better and you're just much more easy to be around.

My husband says my personality is completely different if I am stressed out and not properly fueling myself.

Remember it isn't so black and white.  Gaining weight doesn't = getting fat.

The worst thing my ex boyfriend ever said to me was this.

"I don't find you beautiful any more."

That was at my lowest. He left me before he could see any real gains. Instead, I have my family. My mum burst into tears when she first saw how bad I really was - 13.5lbs up from that and she has told me I look gorgeous. And I actually feel a little like it, for the first time in a long time.

As far as the men go-- everyone is different. I've been married, divorced, have dated-- a lot-- and am engaged now. I've had men tell me I was too chubby and men tell me I was perfect. The man I picked proposed to me at my heaviest weight ever and doesn't care one whit what I look like.  I know its hard, but you have to get the attitude of looking good for you and that your husband needs to love you as you are-- if he doesn't, then he has a problem. If he's worried about your health, then I'd say that's a valid concern-- if he's worried you don't have the perfect body, then he needs to take a hike.

So I'm not married or anything but I just wanted to say that since I've gained weight I've been getting lots of positive comments from males, something that I stopped receiving when I reached my lowest weight. I'm actually getting 'noticed' again. And guy friends have been telling me how good I look.

But I think what your husband wants most is for you to be healthy again. And if he married you, then he thinks you are beautiful I'm sure. :)

Hi

Skcr73...i can relate to you cause i am a young married woman and like you i worry that my husband may fall out of love for me due to me being so underweight. Its a feeling that you cant shake off so easily...trust me i know. When you in that mood of not being so self confident ...it shows in the way you speak to him, your atitude towards sex and in what you wear. I hate clothes...cause there is nothing that fits me good in my wardrobe.

But, what i've learnt is that.... my husband will not fallout of love for me because of my size cause he did not marry me for my size. Underneath that size i am the same person he married and he still loves me. I have fallen out of love for my self.

Knowing that i am loved despite boosts my self confidence. Being healthy is whats important to him and trust me he ensures that i eat all the heathy stuff and have breakfast one etc etc. And i love him for that.

So my advise to you is..dont worry about how you look but how you feel inside as a result of how you look. You owe it to urself and to your husband to feel self confident, healthy and sexy.

my boyfriend likes my body how it is, a bit more on me i guess.

My ex used to cook terrible food for me and liked the fact that i was gaining weight...she wanted me to be pudgy and succeeded after about 3 years, i was pushing 190 on a medium frame at 6 feet 1. Not terrible i know but i hated it and it was really stressing me out...she didnt care so long as i had some extra weight on me.

So i left her and dropped down to about 152 which is underweight...i have started to put muscle weight back on and i am at around 160 which is where i am pretty comfortable. 

I need to eat more however if i want to continue to gain muscle, finding it hard to get over 2k calories in a day.