Significant Others...

I feel as though I'll never be able to date someone with how obsessive I am about food and calories.

I haven't had a real boyfriend in over three years, and I think it is partially due to this. I dread eating in social situations. I never go out to eat. I only drink every once in awhile (I still go out and have a good time though!). Not even my closest friends know that I count calories. And when you date someone, what do you do? You go out to eat a lot, and that is something I can not handle. When I do end up going out to eat or for drinks with my friends, I end up going way overboard or binging.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Not at all.  Make a picnic, get takeout sushi, etc.  Avoid pizza parties where possible.  Try cooking at home, get a workout on days you have a date and eat lightly earlier in the day.

Tell your date that you believe in maintaining a healthy lifestyle which does not include being excessive most of the time.

I know exactly what you mean. My last relationship actually ended BECAUSE of my obsession with food and calorie counting. I'm in pretty much the exact situation. I would never eat out of eat unhealthy food and I would always talk about what I was eating and how healthy it was and my ex said that I was boring and annoying and he hated it and ended up breaking up with me.  I'm woth you, but at the same time I don't really have any advice...in fact, I'd like some advice as well....

i'm enjoying being healthy, but i really don't feel like calorie counting is always the best idea for everyone.

 i've been doing it for about 4 weeks, and have actually started developing an eating disorder.    i think it's really good to get a hang of how many calories are in the things i eat, but sooooo much control is not healthy for me, mentally.  it's just incouraging my obsessive, perfectionist side.  and i'm certainly uncomfortable with showing that to my friends/boyfriend. probably because they will tell me how unhealthy it seems. and i will know they are right.

i've never had any trouble with body image, but am now freaking out about needing to pretty much fast because i'm going to visit my boyfriend who i haven't seen in ages.

 i've really learned a lot from the calorie counting, and am much more conscious of how many calories i'm eating and what kinda of food i'm taking in, and also how much energy i'm burning, which i can all really get a lot of positive things out of. but the obsessiveness of counting every calorie every day has just resulted in me having sudden binge outbursts, then trying to purge those... so i think i'm gonna quit.  i definitely will keep up with a healthy diet and excersize and all. but this has gotta stop.

i'm not saying you need to stop, this could be really beneficial for some, but it has all just backfired for me. 

eaturn, I'm so sorry to hear that calorie counting is causing you problems.  The way that I handle it (not to say that it will work for you), is that I give myself a daily range of calories.  I supposedly burn 2300 per day at my activity level, so I tell myself that I will eat a minimum of 1500, aim for about 1800 and don't worry if I get up to 2300.  As long as I'm under the 2300 I still count it as a good day.  That gives my plenty of room for the occasional treat without guilt.  If I go over the 2300, then I look at my weekly total and make sure I'm averaging under 2300 per day.

Move to southern california... everyone here's a health freak.  I think my boyfriend cares more about having a healthy diet than I do.

Another easy fix, if you're going out to eat with your boyfriend etc, guys love to finish your food, so eat half and let him have the rest!

Try cooking dates!! My fiance and I love that.  It was one of our favorite things to do when we first started dating-- you really get to know the other person.

And if health and foods are so important to you, then they should be for him also! Or he will at least respect your thoughts on it.   If not, he's not worth it!!!

I gained 20 lbs after starting to date my boyfriend (only about a year now), and he lost 20 lbs!  You can imagine how mad I am about this, and how annoyed I get when thinking about going out to eat. This month, I put my foot down and decided my weight gain had to stop. For the past 3 weeks, I have been obsessing about calories ...he complained.... he says everything we do has to evolve around calories and conversations have been about what I eat. So, to compromise, we decided to make cooking dates, where we cook eachother a meal at home but half of each plate must be proportioned with veggies. Or, we go out to eat at places where there is something healthy on the menu. Almost everywhere, even BARS have salads. He even found a place with a salad buffet for me, called Sweet Tomatoes!  He did such a good job!  So, even though it annoyed him at first, it all worked out and became fun in the end. I understand what you're thinking, but don't miss out on the best parts of life just to stay under a certain amount of calories. You can always wake up a little early and go jogging or go for a romantic walk on the beach that same day.