Single people trying to lose weight? Sign up here

First off, I'm not trying to start a dating service or anything. But it seems almost everyone on CC is married and I know that can't be the case.

While it's great that they are married, single people have different reasons for losing weight, they have different pressures involved, and they don't have any spouse they can depend on for support.

I'm not saying it's harder, in fact we also have more time to dedicate to weight loss (saving single parents)

But this thread is for the single people I know there are on CC.

how about we unite! because there will most certainly be a war against the married people in the coming months (j/k)

I'll start. I'm 24. I've been single for about 4 years now. I got out of a long relationship with a girl that could've been the one, but we just were in two different places. Since then I went into a deep state of depression a few years back, and gained a bunch of weight in addition to pretty much giving up living life.

Well, I heard a song (Jimmy Eat World- 23) that changed my life, as corny as it sounds. Since then I have been working on different phases of getting my life back, and weight loss is now.

However, eventually I am going to try and tackle dating, and it's a scary thing. I've had a few encounters in these past years, but they just didn't work out.

Who wants to share similar stories? Don't leave my hanging people

You know, I feel you, I've been thinking of starting a similar thread myself, because it does seem like everyone's married, or at least in some form of a relationship. I'm 20, and I've only dated a couple girls, just nothing ever worked out. I want to start dating, having fun, etc. like I feel I should be at my age, but I just don't really know how to start, and all that. I feel like I have a good hand, I just don't know how to play the game. So, I'm just trying to get in shape, and look and feel better, and hopefully help out my confidence and all.

Now we just need some girls here to join us...;)

Hi,

My name is Alex, I'm 19, a junior in college, and I'm an English/Religion double major.  I've been single for a long time, and I've never had a serious longterm relationship.  I know that with my low self-esteem, I probably doom any prospects before anything even has a chance to happen.

It is different for single people than married people, and different for single people depending on what kind of situation they are in...i.e. if they are working, going to school/college, etc.  (for example, I'm working at my college over the summer, and living on campus, so I've been eating cafeteria food for 2 years straight now).  And while it seems like we have a lot more time, at the same time, if we are students, we could be working, going to school, homework/studying, on-campus activities, etc. 

I'm losing weight to hopefully gain more self-confidence (which will help with the dating scene) and to stop being the fat classmate I was throughout the rest of school.  I hope to rediscover who I am in the process, and learn to be more comfortable within my own skin--a necessary thing before getting into a relationship.

So that's my little story!

Hey

I'm Megen and very much single.  I've dated a bit but I've never been in a serious relationship, just never found someone that I wanted to go there with.  I'm 21, and a senior in college.  I am majoring in biology with a pre vet option and minoring in chemistry. 

I think that i get a little self concious around guys (not a lot but a little) because i think they are all looking for a thin hot girl and that they won't look at me cause i'm thicker.  But i don't care lol I love my curves I just want to lose weight so that i'm happier with myself and don't feel the least bit self concious. 

I love to laugh and be funny!!! It makes the days in the small town where i go to school more bareable lol.

Well I think that's bout it.............Hi to all.

Hey guys,
I'll be 24 in a couple of weeks and am currently extremely single. I have not been able to bring myself to really date since I gained weight a few years back because, frankly, I gained a couple of pounds of fat and a couple of tonnes of body issues. That's not to say I didn't have low self-esteem before that, but it just got worse.
Since I gained weight, I've had a couple of experiences where I dated men in the same boat, and have discovered that when two people are generally insecure to start with, albeit for different reasons, they bring out the worst insecurities in each other.
I'm here to keep myself on track, I've been slowly and steadily losing weight for almost a year now, and am trying to learn how to stay healthy for good.
I think this is a great thread. I don't have the live-in SO that loves me no matter what I weigh, but I do have friends that love me unconditionally, and this site has been a good source of encouragement for me.
Thanks, shawnmax!

I'm 29 and single.  I started this Jan. 8 after spending about 3 years locked up in my house miserable and depressed.  As of this morning I've dropped 97lbs. and while I still have a long way to go I feel better about myself than I have in years, even when I was 22lbs. lighter than now.   

Overall, I feel like a brand new person physically and mentally.  I'm excited to see what the future has in store for me for the first time in a long, long time.  I still have days where I struggle with low self esteem but I know those days will pass and I try to remind myself during those times of the progress I've made so far.    

I've never really had "relationships".  I've done a small bit of dating where nothing ever actually worked out.  For years I blamed it on my weight.  Now I look back and blame it on my self esteem.  I've got a long way to go but I'm finally learning to be happy with myself I think.  I know I'm not thin and that I have flaws (physical and otherwise) but I'm learning to accept that everyone does, and that while some men simply aren't attracted to girls over 110lbs. there are plenty of men who are.  I'm still not dating, but unlike before I don't see myself dating as an impossibility.  I just see it as I haven't met anyone just yet.   Although there is a prospect, but it's too soon to know for sure.  ;) 

Hey all!  I see a lot of topics around here by married people, many with kids, and I find I can't really relate to many of their frustrations, so this is a great thread!

Single here, 21 years old, just completed my bachelor's in May, no serious relationships in the past, just casual dating.  I'm not really sure I've ever had self-esteem issues.  I've always had kind of a warped self-image...even though during my heaviest years I knew I was fat, I somehow didn't see myself as "that fat" so I wasn't hard on myself until I decided to join the army and had to meet the weight/fitness requirements.  However, I held ridiculously high standards in regards to potential significant others for a long time, and was often told that I came off as intimidating and unapproachable to guys that might be interested in me.  So maybe that was my form of self-esteem issue, subconsciously pushing people away.

Anyhow, I'm over all that now.  Losing weight for me was mainly for the army, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that along the way I've put a lot of focus on how I look to other people, available men in particular.

So let me pose a question to all you singles on C-C...I know not just single people go out to clubs, bars, etc., but hopefully only singles go out with the occasional intention to meet someone new.  Do any of you find it hard to go out on a dinner date or get drinks, because you scour the menu for the healthiest option or order your mixed drinks with diet soda?  Last date I went on, I ordered something from the Chili's "guiltless grill" menu and passed up on a super-sweetened drink, and my date said "you can order whatever you want, you know."  I didn't know what to say...how was I supposed to say "no, actually, I can't order whatever I want" without sounding like I was fishing for compliments, or seem like I don't know how to let go and have a good time?

Jess-I always say it's what I'm in the mood for that night. Whether it's friends or (few) dates that accuse me of ordering salad when I really want a burger, I say yeah, but it's hot out, I wanted something refreshing. Or something.
But yes, dating is infinitely harder when you have less food and drink options.

I went out to dinner with my mom, sister, and sister's best friend one night, and we went to Friendly's because that's where they wanted to go.  I was so upset that there was NOTHING I could eat!  I ended up making my own meal (lol), but I was embarrassed because of the reactions of people close to me.  I imagine a date would be even harder considering how embarrassed I get just with family and friends.

I don't really understand what you guys are going through, but I sympathize.

I can go out and have a couple beers and a sandwich and stay well within my calorie intake. I weigh 265 and am 6'5" though.

In fact I'm making it a point to go out more. I just try and dance it off. I'm all about regaining my social life as well as my healthy life.


My biggest thing is people telling me I look fine, but I know where my flab is, and it bugs me. I know that I wont be able to think a woman finds me attractive unless I am happy in my own skin, so that's my main goal. Also I compare myself to other guys all the time, and always end up on the short end of the stick in my mind. It's hard building confidence though. People tell my my good qualities, how I'm tall, and funny, and smart but I don't even hear them because of the way I look.

I have probably sabotaged a few oppurtunities because of my lack of self-confidence.

I know that I wont be able to think a woman finds me attractive unless I am happy in my own skin, so that's my main goal. Also I compare myself to other guys all the time, and always end up on the short end of the stick in my mind. It's hard building confidence though. People tell my my good qualities, how I'm tall, and funny, and smart but I don't even hear them because of the way I look.

I second all of that (except change it to me being a woman)!  That's why I'm here too!  I've been told that being overweight doesn't keep a lot of people from getting guys (or girls I suppose, sorry), but that's what I blame my lack of success on--and it's not hard to compare yourself to the skinny girls that always seem to have guys hanging all over them. 

But I do know that unless I am happy with who I am, no one else will be, and I won't believe that someone else could be happy with me too.

I have probably sabotaged a few oppurtunities because of my lack of self-confidence.

That is what the people closest to me tell me too.....I've been told that because I assume the other person (whoever they are) will find me unattractive, they never even get the chance to find me attractive, if that makes sense. 

Although for me, I divide how I feel about myself into two categories:  I have high self-confidence in my abilities and my mind, but low self-esteem and confidence in my appearance and my social abilities.

And being an introvert doesn't help....

I'm 30 and have been single my entire life, if by single "unmarried" is meant, and if you count dating, then I've been single ALMOST my entire life. I've had two boyfriends, one 11 years ago, one 5 years ago. Neither relationship lasted more than a couple of months.

Pretty much just always felt that I wasn't good enough. Don't have enough friends, not socially comfortable enough, not thin enough, not attractive enough. Now that I have gotten to a lower weight AND am okay with it and not wanting to go much lower than I am, and I feel more attractive, I'm hit with the fact that I can now add my age as a reason that I'm not really able to date. I don't really want an older guy and the younger ones just aren't interested once they find out that I'm a little out of their peer group. Kind of makes me wonder why I bothered in the first place, except that it's less hopeless; maybe somebody will win me over despite not being what I'm looking for, or maybe it'll happen the other way, that someone who is a little intimidated at first might look beyond that.

I'm the only single woman over 25 in my workplace, with the exception of one who's about 25-ish and engaged. It's rough and it makes me feel like crap because it's not by choice that I'm single; it's because I don't know what to do and don't have a strong enough social network to make anything happen. Being thinner is definitely helping my outlook, but I am not sure if it's enough on its own.

shawnmax..........i understand but from the woman's perspective.............I am so stuck in the idea that no guy could find me attractive that when I actually got asked out a few months back I didn't understand what he was asking for lol...............i went out with the guy and stuff but even now since we weren't able to make a second date happen because of school ending for the sumemr I don't know if it was as friends or what (even though he paid for my food)...............I always look at the thin girls who are talkin to guys like it's nothing and wish i could be more like that...........but with college I've grown to love my skin a little more and I'm absolutely loving this weight loss thing lol.............I've lost a total of 99 lbs.................a lot of that is my "freshman 15" lol

wow.  okay, my experience of singleness is very different.

i'm 39, never married, and not in a relationship.  i love being single and i love living alone. 

i also think that losing weight is easier because of it.  i'm 100% in control of the food that finds its way into my house.  i don't have to consider anyone else's wants/needs when i cook.  i don't have to worry about someone else bringing pizza or fried chicken home for dinner.  my schedule is entirely my own; i don't have to juggle other people's commitments in fitting in exercise.

for those of you who are struggling, i really encourage you to focus on the benefits of independence.  i know sometimes it feels like the whole world is paired up, especially when you're young, but it's so important to know that you can go it alone.  it will make the relationships you do have much healthier.

 I have high self-confidence in my abilities and my mind, but low self-esteem and confidence in my appearance and my social abilities.

danaisha, I know exactly what you mean, I'm the same way to a tee. Give me a challenge to do, I'm on it right away, and I'll get it done, but don't ask me to start a conversation. I've been improving, but still have a long way to go. I still have this feeling of trying to find what would make me worth having as a boyfriend, and not just a friend.

And, on another note, how can anyone who goes with the name Jaina Solo be single?

I'm 26, and single. My last serious relationship was over 4 years ago. I thought she was the one. Looking back at it, we were so wrong for each other. Since that ended I began to focus on my career. My career took off and so did my weight.

Almost 2 years ago I met this amazing girl who I became close friends with. This past spring I finally had the nerve to tell her my feelings. She told me "sorry, but I look at you like a brother. nothing more". I was crushed. We get alot great and have so much in common that it's hard for me not to believe that the only reason she's not into me is because of my physical appearance. So I'm here to change, she's my motivation. I want nothing more for her to say "wow", and have the tables turn to her chasing me. If she doesn't react that way, I'm sure some other girl would wat the new me.

Hey all...first post ever!

I'm 22 and single, graduating college next year, majoring in Industrial Engineering. I've been single for the most part my whole life...a couple girlfriends here and there but just small relationships. I almost feel like an imposter, because I see some of you doing such great things with weight loss (like 50 lbs+!) and here I am just trying to lose 20 lbs. From 200 lbs to 180 lbs (I'm 6'1"). Anyway, it's been great so far...glad to be here!

Hi I'm Laci. I am 29 and single. I never had that long relationship that I have been hoping for. I am new to this website and found your thread, wow I can relate to it so much. My biggest issue with dating is that I feel out of place in society. I don't drink, I don't goto church, I feel like because I look like I do no man will ever approach me. I like to be active but my friends don't so i get frustrated walking alone with my dog. He is great company but not the same as someone walking with me for the same reason. Unforunately I won't be walking anytime soon because I broke my foot, but I am hoping to control my calories and then ease into exercise next month.

I'm Kelly, 26 years old, and embarking on a journey to get healthier after splitting up with my fiance about 3 months ago.  It's been particularly hard because I'm entering what I will refer to as "The Wedding Season."  Right around 25, all your friends start getting married, which is about the same time that they start looking at you with a look of mixed pity and codescension because you are single.  I have 8 weddings this summer alone, and it's HARD.  I'm not really trying to lose a lot of weight, but I really just want to live a healthier lifestyle overall--my break-up caused me to reassess my life, and I wasn't thrilled with what I've found.  i've had body image issues all my life complete with ED, and now I'm just trying to learn to be happy with myself.  Like someone said earlier, I'm confident in so many areas, but I definitely sabotage myself and my relationships because I'm so unsure of myself physically.  I love this thread, thanks so much to Shawnmax for starting it!

My biggest issue with dating is that I feel out of place in society. I don't drink, I don't goto church, I feel like because I look like I do no man will ever approach me. I like to be active but my friends don't so i get frustrated walking alone with my dog

Exactly.  It's a bit different for me (i'm at a small Christian college) and so none of my friends are into the whole drinking/partying scene (thank God), but since my beliefs have changed and I no longer go to church or to many are no longer Christian (although I still consider myself to be), I don't fit in to the "normal" college stereotype and nor do I fit into my college's society.  Also, I would love to go play random games of ultimate frisbee/football/basketball/whatever, but my friends don't seem to be in to any of that.  And the one exercise I've found that I enjoy is swimming--and none of my friends like to swim!  So I go alone.  Which is good and bad.

All of this combines to make me feel out of place...and keeps me from meeting other potential "prospects" or friends.

sorry--didn't mean to post so much....i'm really bored at work....