Single people trying to lose weight? Sign up here

First off, I'm not trying to start a dating service or anything. But it seems almost everyone on CC is married and I know that can't be the case.

While it's great that they are married, single people have different reasons for losing weight, they have different pressures involved, and they don't have any spouse they can depend on for support.

I'm not saying it's harder, in fact we also have more time to dedicate to weight loss (saving single parents)

But this thread is for the single people I know there are on CC.

how about we unite! because there will most certainly be a war against the married people in the coming months (j/k)

I'll start. I'm 24. I've been single for about 4 years now. I got out of a long relationship with a girl that could've been the one, but we just were in two different places. Since then I went into a deep state of depression a few years back, and gained a bunch of weight in addition to pretty much giving up living life.

Well, I heard a song (Jimmy Eat World- 23) that changed my life, as corny as it sounds. Since then I have been working on different phases of getting my life back, and weight loss is now.

However, eventually I am going to try and tackle dating, and it's a scary thing. I've had a few encounters in these past years, but they just didn't work out.

Who wants to share similar stories? Don't leave my hanging people

I think there needs to be an initial attraction to the other person in order to spark any interest.

nice shawn!  why didnt i think of this idea.  Cataloging single people... so we can invite them for a workout eh? Ahahaha!
[so far it seems like a date thread to me ahem]

So im single.  I like the color green and long walks on the beach... wait ..wrong post lol


and love is certainly a game, have to play it right to get a chance lol



kay27 - yes your right

you know it's funny i whipped out that example... because tonight I hung out with that girl. We were just going to have dinner at a bar and grille like we do a lot (me and a bunch of my friends) and this girl was supposed to come and bring the guy she had been dating so we could meet him.

Well, we get there, and the guy she's with really isn't a stud or anything. I mean i didn't feel inferior to him like I usually do with other guys. I was feeling pretty good tonight too. I wasn't dressed up or anything, was just wearing some shorts and a band tshirt but i guess it is more form fitting.

So she comments first on how good i'm looking and I jokingly say, "I know...thanks" and she makes a few more comments. Then she's like paying me a lot of attention, and we are kinda doing our thing where we go back and forth in a conversation in front of our group of friends, only this time it's all in front of her guy. I felt a little awkward, like we were getting along so well that this guy has to be thinking wtf? Her plan was to tell me about her friend she wants to hook me up with, but she's pretty forward.

she asked me to take a walk with her. She's telling me how she doesnt even want to hook me up with her friend. She is saying, "I'm with this really nice guy, and I said before I want a long term relationship, but now I'm wanting to get with you, and I don't know if its because I really don't lwant to be with him or what"

I said that puts me in a real awkward place. That I held nothing back really. I mean I let this girl know I was into her. You knida have to hang out with her to know what I'm talking about, but it's sometimes hard to read what she wants me to do. I said, "what you want me to be like don't be with him get with me? fine, drop him, get with me, I'm a nice guy too, it's not like you're going to be missing anything. BUt make a decision, because I feel kinda bad for the guy that you're taking me aside telling me this stuff while he's out there buying you drinks"

I felt so in control though tonight, and so confident. I wasn't even sweating her or her little games. I mean i really like this girl, and I told her that. Because as quirky and shallow as she can seem, we just hit it off. She even said something like, "why didn't you make a move at the christmas party or all those times we hung out" and I said, "honestly i had no chance and you know it...not then"

i actually really appreciate her honesty, even if it might come off as shallow, inconsiderate, or just mean. I know where she stands and I like that. She actually probably would've dated me before, but maybe I just didn't make the right moves like you guys are saying.

Anyway, it was kinda awkward. I left the bar just a little while ago while she was in the bathroom with her friend. Well i didnt leave, i left her guy, and my other friends and said I would catch her on the way out to say bye. So then the girl she was with kinda made herself scarce so i knew they were talking about me. And she gave me a hug and said...we will hang out tomorrow, ill text you. and I told her, just make a decision.

Part of me wants to go for it. part of me thinks she just likes playing one guy against another. she would be the type i would just "have fun" with if i was like that, but i don't know if i can be like that without getting attached. oh well. just my little update to that example.

funny thing is...im almost 30 lbs down so maybe she meant it :P

lol i just post and i see this long one from you.
Oo one of your comment about looks.
Looks get you in the door quicker to get their attention.


im glad you did good tonight.  dont ever be a fuken chump, that dosent get you far.  You did your hw this time making her choose.  Thats how it has to be, all or nothing since there is no inbetween.  Id say go for it, with caution of course.  Girls do play mind games, alot.  lol  Make sure you put in as much as she does, nothing more.  good luck.

Personality matters more than looks to me. 

A guy who can't get beyond the appearance, either his or mine, is a no.  If I like a guy and there is a connection, then I think he's cute...my friends may or may not, but that's not really a big deal to me.

A guy who makes me laugh and has fun with me definitely is more likely than some hottie who is full of himself.  Now, having said that, a guy who presents himself as a slob (aka drunk, loud, keeps bugging me after I've declined, etc.) doesn't have a chance.  From an immediate impression, a guy who is massively overweight is not as appealing as one who is in some kind of shape.

*wades in late to the party, as usual*

Okay, I'll count myself as one of the singles on this site. Stupid shyness prevented me from doing so earlier. Don't ask me why, but it's probably a good indicator of why I'm single. Grrrr.

At any rate, I've thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread over the last week or so. I can see a lot of myself in many of the posts, and it's nice to know I'm not as big of a dork as I sometimes think I am (though I'm pretty much comfortable with my dorkiness, thank you very much). Either that, or y'all are just as dorky as I am! :P Kidding. Really.

Shawnmax, thanks for starting this thread. And no, you're definitely NOT ugly. It sounds like, from your latest post, you're making progress with the girl. You'll be fine. ;-)

Hey Shawn, if she's into you, that's awesome, and if she's playing you and this other guy up against each other, it's not as awesome, but good on you for being honest! Good luck!

spjesq

As my friends say, I'm a dork, but I'm their dork.

I used to be a wallflower regarding dating, then I started going on dates, a lot!  I once had 3 dates with different guys in one day...now I limit myself to no more than one date a day, and preferrably only 1 or 2 in a week.  I just don't have time or the inclination to meet everyone.  It's like anything else, it's a skill you pick up by doing it and doing it wrong sometimes and doing it right sometimes.

I used to be massively uncomfortable in a bar...still not entirely at home, but I can walk into a bar, order a drink and hang out or play pool without feeling like a complete fish out of water.

hi all! I'm almost 19, going into my sophomore year in college. I'm single and loving it! There are a lot of people out there who bemoan the fact that they're single, but I really believe that you shouldn't enter a committed relationship until you're happy on your own. And relationships take so much time, effort, emotional/physical commitment... Who needs it?

smwhipple - My brother (who was Mr. Popularity in HS - at least with the girls) once told me I was a geek, but a cool geek. Needless to say, I was always "the studious, responsible one" (oooh, HOT). I've always worn the "cool geek" thing like a badge of honor, though.

As for the bar/dating thing, I'm still a bit of a fish out of water. I don't seem to have a problem talking to guys, just initiating conversations with them. Therein lies the problem. Kudos to you for overcoming your wallflower-ness, though!

spjesq,

It's fun to shock the boys...I'm not only a dork, I'm a computer geek.  I've always had a pretty face, so it's amusing to watch idiots think that I'm a dumb blonde and find out that I'm probably smarter than they are.  Now if they want to discuss music or politics, I am not well versed.

The dating thing was hard for me because I always had boyfriends from 18-31.  I'd go maybe 6 months in between before I had a few good dates with someone I knew and next thing I'd be in a relationship before I could blink.  I'm perfectly content and mostly downright happy on my own so I don't need a guy, but I seem to have a good gf tatooed on my forehead or something.  I've worked very hard at not attaching a bf in the last few years just because they're nice. At 33 I'm not interested in spending a few years with someone who is only kind of right for me.

My rule of thumb is that as soon as I know I'm not interested enough, I let the guy know.  Usually it's before a date or after one date.  Occasionally they make it to 3 before I'm sure.  When I first started dating (I weighed 20 lbs more), I had 2 guys make it to about 5 dates before I said, not for me and they were really hurt about it so I figure the sooner the better.

Yeah, I'm studious and responsible.  I had one guy attempting to come home and sleep on my couch...not!  I picked up the phone and called about 20 hotels to find a room before he admitted that he had a place to crash.

smwhipple,

Heh. I like to "disarm" the boys with my sense of humor and arsenal of useless trivia (I know a little about a lot of things like music, movies, technology, and yes, politics), but I think the intelligence sometimes scares them off. That, and the fact that I'm a lawyer (licensed but non-practicing) -- though I usually won't admit to it until I've talked to someone for a while - tends to disarm them perhaps a bit too much. (Eeek! Honestly, I don't bite, and I tend to get along with everyone).

Overall, I'm pretty comfortable on my own, and I actually like spending time by myself, but yes, it would be nice to go on a date or two every now and again. I guess I'll have to just get out there and do it like you did!

spjesq--I think I'm your inter-dimensional superstring twin.  I wore the geek badge of honor all throughout high school and half of college, but a lot of my friends have commented that my "whole personality has changed" now that I've lose weight.  I don't know about that.   But when I first started to lose weight and guys starting paying attention to me for, I assume, my looks and not because they overheard me talking about the latest Madden NFL videogame, I stopped immersing myself completely in geekdom.  I have a degree in biological sciences AND I've joined the Army AND I too know a little bit about a lot of things...I project my intelligence and toughness a bit more around new people than I do in the company of friends because I want to make sure people know what I'm about, but I definitely think it can be a little too intimidating for some.  I try to tone it down sometimes but in a way that feels like I'm lying about myself, you know?

Shawn--I don't know the girl, I don't know the whole situation, and I don't know nearly enough to really break it down and analyze what's up with this chick.  If you like her, and trust that she's not playing around, great!  I'd suggest making your move without jumping completely head-first into anything; if you draw it out a little while still expressing your interest in her you may be able to figure out what she's really about.

Gotta give my input on looks and personality...if I'm not physically attracted to a guy, I'm just not interested, plain and simple.  But attraction is subjective.  Someone may be hideous to one person and incredible-looking to another.  Not to get all Darwin on y'all, and this isn't completely set in stone, but in general there are certain physical features of men and women that the opposite sex are evolutionarily programmed to identify and subsequently to which he or she is attracted because they are indicators of good genes with which to combine his or her own genes to create offspring.  Mate selection...we're all just vessels for our genes.

Whoa...ok...that last bit is totally tune-outable. 

single chick - single by misadventure. 31 year old widow-type (wasn't married, but 10 year relationship. he od'd after i left. sad stuff, but it's old news to me now.)

being single and eating well and working out is an easy venture in that i don't have to juggle time with somone else... but the support is lacking.

no one tells me i look good unless they are trying to get somewhere with me... usually somewhere i don't want to go! the support and conversation a signifigant other could provide would be helpful for sure.

i am sick to death of having no workout friends becuase they are all off with their husbands and boyfriends.  oh well, whaddya do.

my last date wanted dinner at a chip stand. ugh. i had a plain old burger and it fit into my food plan for the day - but it's another reason i don't date often. not many guys really think hiking is a good date. they SAY it sounds good, but always suggest a fatty dinner or drinks after.

i am not really into big buffed workout types either, just slight men. when a guy sees i lift weights it seems to send the signal i am into big fat hairy men, and that is not the case.

well, that was a fun rant! hah!

if anyone uses internet dating, there is even a category for 'workout partner' on some sites. unreal!

Hullo! 21 and single - very say because my wonderous mother has been rubbing it in she was engaged to my dad at 21, and how awful it is I can't find anyone. So, I started dieting in August last year, and have lost 43lbs, but still have about 10lb to go til I'm at my target :)

I hope there is a man for me out there - I'm in the situation with my ex at the moment where I think it's him, and it's a bit depressing, as you can imagine ;)

Smwhipple
A guy who makes me laugh and has fun with me definitely is more likely than some hottie who is full of himself.  Now, having said that, a guy who presents himself as a slob (aka drunk, loud, keeps bugging me after I've declined, etc.) doesn't have a chance.  From an immediate impression, a guy who is massively overweight is not as appealing as one who is in some kind of shape.

Yea, see my point exactly.  Presentation (looks) does impact your chances.  Its not that you dont care about their personality, its because we tend to judge others first (friend or foe).  Of course the attaction has to hit you in the face.  LOL  Then there's the personal wall thing everyone has around them (comfort zone).  So when a non-hot guy goes to ask a girl,  its harder for him to persaude her to give him a "chance" TO "get to know his personality".  Get what im trying to say?  I mean who ever opens up to a complete stranger?  Not many.

Then there's the initial eye contact and non verbal body lang thing :P  Looks opens the door when its locked  (and it has power to persuade, to an extent that is)

Glad you take it nice on the guys feelings.  I for one like things blunt and to the point (at least when feelings are involved).  Not many girls that are blunt like that lol.

Jess1100
LOL you took the words right out of my mouth on the darwin :D  Glad someone realzies!  Hot damn!


spjesq
As for being a dork.  Nothing wrong with that.  We're all dorks as you said lol

shawnmax - WAY TO GO :) I really like that you were able to be confident AND honest, without letting anyone walk all over you.

vudoo32x - " Make sure you put in as much as she does, nothing more". do you really handle your life and love like that? wouldnt that just create a neverending cycle of distance, where no one feels like they can be honest?

Being single can be very difficult. But Im really happy that I have learned to offer people what I truly feel - whether or not they feel the same way is up to them, or hell more often - whether or not they can HANDLE their own feelings. But Ive never once regretted loving someone with my entire heart. It is a gift to love someone else, and an even more amazing gift for that love to reciprocated.

spookychick- totally!  The dates at restaurants, having desserts is romantic, all that crap . . . who started that?  The guy I currently like invited me over to play Wii, which I thought was awesome . . . and then we ended up with all kinds of Doritos and Kahlua (sp?) nonsense.  I just posted another thread how sick I am of guys that like me offering me food, I feel like they would offer a skinny gal something else?  IDK what it would be, but certainly not Cool Ranch?

ocarina- hey, I getcha.  My parents were married at 16 and 18 . . . neither gets why I don't have a serious boyfriend.  My friends are at it too, all, look at Stacy, she's bigger than you and engaged!  And I'm like . . . well . . . I'm not ready for that!  Regardless of my weight.  I didn't date at all in highschool and so I figure my dating maturity is about 18 years old at highest . . . not ready to get engaged!  Regardless of how young my peers are taking the plunge.  Plus nobody's asked anyway. 

And to cap it off (this will sound like I am in highschool, but) the guy I like changed his MySpace page status to "in a relationship" . . . and it's not with me.

jess1100 - I definitely know what you mean about "toning down" the intelligence/toughness factor, but I think I tend to do that around new people (so as not to scare them) and allow my (warped) sense of humor to work its, er, magic (or not). That is, if I talk at all. I also know what you're saying about not wanting to project yourself in a way that makes you feel like you're lying about yourself, but for me, I'll slowly allow the intelligence to shine through as I open up. Perhaps I'd have better success if I just went up to the boys and went, "RARRRR!" I'd get the "scaring them off" thing out of the way, and if they turned their noses up at me (instead of, say, laughing), then I'd know they're not worth talking to.

Okay, maybe not.

P.S. I had to Google "superstring" (a science genius, I am not). But yes, you could be right about the twin thing!

spjesq
intelegence is hot.  The toughness thing? i dont know lol.  be yourself...but a guys suppose to be a guy.  or a man.. whatever hahaha.

echstee
vudoo32x - " Make sure you put in as much as she does, nothing more". do you really handle your life and love like that? wouldnt that just create a neverending cycle of distance, where no one feels like they can be honest?

No, total opposite.  Then again its all situational (since thats how life is).
[i get what your saying though, someone has to take the risk at first, and you cant hide your feelings.  I do agree]

In his situation he isnt sure about the girl [she is or was with another guy lol] Or know her "true" feelings.  So in this situation its best to take it as they come [not put too much hope/feeling in to it until your at least sure shes not playing him.  Of course he knows he can get clingy and whatever too so thats why aslo] 

Feelings need to be known and mutual for things to work.  [this isnt one of those times yet lol  She has to dump the other guy first].  Their not even dating.

Well this post is getting long.  Ill stop there lol