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First off, I'm not trying to start a dating service or anything. But it seems almost everyone on CC is married and I know that can't be the case.

While it's great that they are married, single people have different reasons for losing weight, they have different pressures involved, and they don't have any spouse they can depend on for support.

I'm not saying it's harder, in fact we also have more time to dedicate to weight loss (saving single parents)

But this thread is for the single people I know there are on CC.

how about we unite! because there will most certainly be a war against the married people in the coming months (j/k)

I'll start. I'm 24. I've been single for about 4 years now. I got out of a long relationship with a girl that could've been the one, but we just were in two different places. Since then I went into a deep state of depression a few years back, and gained a bunch of weight in addition to pretty much giving up living life.

Well, I heard a song (Jimmy Eat World- 23) that changed my life, as corny as it sounds. Since then I have been working on different phases of getting my life back, and weight loss is now.

However, eventually I am going to try and tackle dating, and it's a scary thing. I've had a few encounters in these past years, but they just didn't work out.

Who wants to share similar stories? Don't leave my hanging people

Singlesville!

we should totally start a village.

vudoo23x - Whew, so glad you clarified :) Hehe. I do totally agree re: shawnmax's specific situation....I mean its not like the feelings could even be that deep, they arent even dating (yet).

I know about the intellegence thing. I generally don't overtly display my intellengce, more because I don't want to come accross as arrogent and bragging. That said, I don't try to hide my extreme nerdiness, because, well, that really is a large factor of who I am, and if I hid that, I just wouldn't be honest about myself. Besides, I'd rather have a nerdy girl over a physically "hot" dumb blonde (sorry blondes, I know some of y'all are plenty smart), any day.

caz1984: Oh no! I hate that - I know I'm going to be crushed when the fellow I like changes his, as well. The internet is quite cruel to hearts really :S

robyneg: It would be a great village - banning all those terrible slemmly fast-food vans that lurk near where I live and cause me great sadness. (Fish and chiiipppss :()

stephmc45 and starffy have some good points! I totally agree about the subjective time frame. Men need to make their move before its too late and end up in friend land.

shawnmax, dude, you're killin me! ok I have a couple more pages to catch up on here still but please change your attitude! I don't know why you call yourself ugly at all, you look like you have no problem pickin up. Your 1st problem is that you probably didnt believe I meant what I just said. Your 2nd is lack of faith. We all have to take risks sometimes. Why not have some faith in that one of these times your risk taking will pay off? Not EVERY TIME, but you don't need every time - you only need ONE TIME.

got it? or do I have to come over there and slap you? (j/k ha)

echstee - yea!  When i read your thing i was like "uhh thats not what im trying to say lol"  im not cold am I and distrusting....am i??? OF course im not LOL!!  its all good.

faith in yourself, totally agree with cshamman00!

stop fishing for compliments already shawn. LOL  your not fugly.  Now get some self confidence!  Thats where the gym/dieting comes in. Woo Woo!

I really wish I was just fishing for compliments and didn't honestly feel the way I do. I know it's a confidence problem more than anything, and I'm trying to work on it. I'm getting better at focusing on my good qualities more than my not so good ones, but it's a hard road for me because there have been so many comments in my life that I've taken to heart about my looks.

But anyway, I haven't even really been talking about that except i said that one post a few pages ago. People just keep bringing it up hehe.

Ok well you're on the right track now focusing on your good qualities and building up your confidence. If we took all of peoples negativity to heart we'd all go nutz and be a bunch of assholes to each other.  We don't want that!

yeah I know I am trying not to be annoying with my image issues. I really have made some progress this past week with that whole situation I had. Each day I chip away a little at it.

Actually I hung out with the girl friday night, and it appears as if I may be able to help out smwhipple with her august challenge ;-)

Love this thread, but just wanted to say to the original poster that 23 by Jimmy Eat World is probably one of my favorite songs ever!

Katydid22 - I was just going to post something about that song! I have it in my iTunes Library, but I never listened to it until this weekend...and I've listened to it over and over and over (and over) again. Shawnmax, thanks for writing about it. It's an AMAZING song, and, from what you wrote in your bio and in this thread, I can see how it  had a profound effect on your life.

shawnmax :

I know how it is.  It just takes time but the only real opinon that matters much at all is your own.  The rest can fk off because its just that.  Opinons...different view points of people who will not matter to you (well of coures opinons of your close friends/family matters to some degree but the rest can go). 

then again you can also use the comments as constructive criticism

Anyways, good luck with it all.

vudoo32x-I agree wholeheartedly that the only opinion that really matters is your own. We are out own harshest critics and while it's the words and actions of others that scar us, it's only our own faith in ourselves that can erase the scars.
shawnmax- YAY!

It is not easy to date in this day and age.  I am a forty year old divorced single mother of a beautiful and fantastic twelve year old girl!  I work full time.  My commute is about half an hour each way, and by the time I get home from work, I am usually pretty darn tired.  It has been really hard for me to exercise regularly.  I start, but I don't continue.  Part of me thinks I'll never date again.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty girl, just a little heavy.  But I am at the age where everyone is married, and those who are not are much younger than me.  At any rate, I need MOTIVATION!  Give me a good reason to lose weight.  I NEED to do this for myself.  I'm in a slump.  I too got out of a long relationship with a guy who I was SURE was THE ONE, but one day he said, "I don't want this anymore."  So, we went from wedding plans to "It's over".  Part of me has no faith left.  The key for me in dieting is exercise.  I just need someone to help me get and stay motivated and to remind me that I am doing this for myself.  When it comes down to it, I need to take care of my daughter and myself, and if I don't take care of me first, I can't take care of her. 

ok, how bout this. is it really true that fat girls are for fun, but not relationship material. I'm noticing a dating pattern. I start dating a guy, he's seems really excited and totally into me, so we make out hook up whatever. Then, when things start to get a little more serious, bam everything fizzles out. He tells me that he loves me and wants to be friends. I know he means it because he tells me things he won't tell even his best guy friends. he wants to hang out with me all the time. But when his new love interest comes along, sure enough she's rail skinny and lame as hell. So somehow aformentioned jerk gets the best of both worlds. WTF?

Hmmm...I wonder if that has some truth to it.  Since I've gained weight I haven't felt much like dating material.  But maybe that's more of a mental roadblock than an actual one...or maybe we're just trying to date the wrong guys!

About four years ago I got motivated to lose weight.  I lost about 10 pounds and looked fabulous!  A month later, I started dating my first boyfriend ever (and my most decent one). 

After we broke up, I gradually, then suddently, started putting on the pounds.  I've had other boyfriends since, but not any decent ones.  Sometimes I wonder if this is a weight issue or a feeling of self-worth issue. 

Maybe a little bit of both?

well I like to poke my head in here everyonce and awhile!!  Here's the deal you cant let negative experiences get the best of you! ALWAYS look on the bright side!! Here's my example...

I was dating a girl for 3 years.. on the verge of marrying her looking at a house to buy the whole nine yards!  After one day of looking at houses she drops a bomb on me...  Thats right, about a year into our relationship she cheated on me! Not just a one time slip up but multiple times with multiple partners at once!  Aside from the shock I was pissed cause she lied for 2 years about it! and could have given me any number of std's without caring at all!!  for the first week or two I was sick from it and hated women altogether! But then I realized that hey it just wasnt meant to be!  So what if she cheated on me! I'm not going to associate with her anymore and thats that!  Yeah it sucks to lose a companion like that and someone you thought you would marry! But such is life! Now if I kept that anger I'd make a horrible husband for the girl I'm ACTUALLY supposed to be with!  I dont want that I want to treat my wife like a queen and thats not possible with someone elses stupid decision plauging my heart!!

So long story short.... let negative things go! Dont let negativity get the best of you! EVER!

katy and spjesq,

yeah that song really seemed to just speak right to me. I still listen to it on a semi-daily basis, and it's such a beautiful song even if it didnt have a profound impact on my life

Shawnmax: Agreed, it's a beautiful song. This sounds a bit stupid, but think I listened to only that song during one of my runs over the weekend. I'm by no means a runner, but I wanted to keep running and not stop mid-song, so I just kept hitting the "back" button on my iPod. I'm a dork, yes, but that song got me off the couch and to the gym. It has quickly become one of my favorites.

Now back the the subject matter of this thread... ;-)