Single people trying to lose weight? Sign up here

First off, I'm not trying to start a dating service or anything. But it seems almost everyone on CC is married and I know that can't be the case.

While it's great that they are married, single people have different reasons for losing weight, they have different pressures involved, and they don't have any spouse they can depend on for support.

I'm not saying it's harder, in fact we also have more time to dedicate to weight loss (saving single parents)

But this thread is for the single people I know there are on CC.

how about we unite! because there will most certainly be a war against the married people in the coming months (j/k)

I'll start. I'm 24. I've been single for about 4 years now. I got out of a long relationship with a girl that could've been the one, but we just were in two different places. Since then I went into a deep state of depression a few years back, and gained a bunch of weight in addition to pretty much giving up living life.

Well, I heard a song (Jimmy Eat World- 23) that changed my life, as corny as it sounds. Since then I have been working on different phases of getting my life back, and weight loss is now.

However, eventually I am going to try and tackle dating, and it's a scary thing. I've had a few encounters in these past years, but they just didn't work out.

Who wants to share similar stories? Don't leave my hanging people

So shawnmax gets himself some prospects and this thread kind of dies?
What happened to the single people uniting and discussing up here? Did we all get married over the last couple of weeks?

still here! haha

ale2121:means he wanted something different....loves you and wants to be friends.  Love you like a friend he means.  Anyways, drop his ass and find somebody else.  He doesnt get best of both worlds unless you give it to him.  Drop his ass, like i said before. lol

Your smile picture is... hahaha you crack me up!  it should be on a cerial box!  Id buy it.

tigerlily120: Because chickz dig sensitive guys that are..avalible :P  Wait hahaha!  Yea... this tread does die....so, tiger... what do you look for in a man?  AHAhahHAha

Well, I've been trying out the online dating thing, and so far I've been trading emails and chat sessions with two people who seem interesting. One I know won't work out, so I'm steering that towards friends-only, since he's really cool and we have fun talking but he just isn't my "type" and I doubt I'm his. The other might be promising, but I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic; if that doesn't pan out either, that's okay, since we have some similar interests and a lot of similar views so that would be a good friendship to build as well. Plus, he lives close enough to me that we can go out and do stuff. I take things slowly, keeping to chats right now, but we might end up going out somewhere public in a couple of weeks.

Still, I need to find something that doesn't originate online, and since the bar/club scene is not my thing, that only leaves non-credit classes and possibly hobby-based clubs. I'm about to go check the newspaper and city guides and see what's going on around here. I also set a routines at the stores I shop at, becoming a "regular," so at least the people I interact with will generally be the same ones and there's a chance of making acquaintances that way. I don't go anywhere more often than I used to, but I'm making an effort to go on the same day of the week at roughly the same time instead of just random whenever.

I haven't read this whole thread, only 5 or 6 pages. I actually am comfortable in knowing I'm not alone on this. I'm 23 years old, and have not really dated whatsoever aside from a couple online things.. I really don't think it has anything to do with my looks/weight, only my self esteem.

I've never been the one to beat myself up about it though, I actually enjoy living alone and being independant. (Since my parents gave me somwhat a hard time being dependant on them.)

There are plenty of girls at my job, its a call center. But I really don't give any of them any time of day, but I think its like a personal defense thing. I'm pretty much at the point where I wouldn't open up to anyone anymore unless they opened up to me first. And being a guy, I'm kinda expected to be the one who dives in first. A lot of girls try to be friends with me, but I still back away because I think I know where its headed.

I've decided to completly axe online dating/gaming for a while so I can get rolling in my new career. I also have somewhat have isolated myself from my friends and family in order to help myself lose weight. My parents and close friends pretty much are all against me losing weight, but I'm the only person who has to look at myself in the mirror every day.. So I'm no longer going to try and get support from them, because they've sabatoged me in previous attempts. I'm sure they have good intentions, trying to boost my self esteem.. but they're not supporting the change at all.

But anyway, while I'm not nessicarily trying much anymore, I don't want to wake up one day and be 30+ and single (no offense to people who are, but I just don't want that personally).

I'm 42 and single. I like many others have great confidence in my abilities but lack confidence in my appearance especially with the weight gain. Just like you Shawn I packed on a 100 pounds battling a bad depresssion.

When you are heavy it just seems to me the opposite sex pays no attention to you. I would give a limb for a woman to show an interest in me.

That really stinks about your friends and their lack of support. I'm lucky to have family and friends that actually fully support what I'm doing and when we go out my friends will actually recommend healthier things to eat.

I know what you're feeling like too in the whole shutting yourself off thing. It's hard to open up, but eventually you can build your confidence through friendships and then in turn open up to strangers more.

A lot of people do act like it's easy. "You just need to be more confident." That is like telling me I just need to lose 20 lbs. I know I do, but it's going to take time. Then we feel like time isn't on our side.
Our friends are settling down and we used to think doing so at such a young age wasn't what we wanted, but now that we are around that age, and don't forsee any immediate relationship, we start to fear for our lives like we will never find someone.

I try to remember how I felt about marriage about 5 years ago, I thought I was way too young and that I would want to get married in my late 20s or even 30s. Now that I'm almost 25 though I feel almost in a panic mode.

You definitely aren't alone though. This site will actually do wonders for your confidence, just because not feeling alone in your struggles gives you a sense of belonging where before you just felt isolated.

Good luck with everything.

I've so been feeling the pressure lately to find someone to have a life with and im only 21.  All my friends are married or headed that way and it just makes me feel as though it will never happen for me.  I always saw myself as married and with kids after i get out of college but I have no prospects at this moment and it made me start thinking...........What if it never happens for me?  Kind of a depressing thought.  I try to tell myself my life will be fine even if I don't find someone but will it really?  Idk I'm the type of person who really wants that life and I can't see my life being complete without a husband and kids in the future.

I know it's a little panicy but needed to vent it in a post. :P

Megegen, I hear you!  I have that thought ALL the time.  At 26, I have had two long-term serious relationships that resulted in me spending 7 years involved with guys who, ultimately, weren't right for me.  Sometimes I'm really afraid that I wasted prime dating time when I could have been meeting the right person.  But I've also learned a lot about myself, about what I'm willing to tolerate, and while I'm still not sure exactly what I "want" in a guy, I have a very good idea of what I know I don't want. 

That is true.............I've had the time now to understand who i am and what i want..............and I've seen enough from friends relationships and such to know what i deserve lol..................good to know that there are others out there thinking the same as me thanks runner_girl

megegen, I feel ya.  I only have two really close friends, close enough to where what happens in their lives influences/affects my life.  One of them just got married in June, to a guy with a 3-year-old daughter.  So one month she and I are in college together partying, the next we're graduated and she's married with a kid.  It was a kind of a shock because she seemed to move right on with her life while I was still dragging along with 3 months left till basic training (one month now!  whoo!), stuck in college mode.

Once in a while I wish I would be swept off my feet, get married, and have some kids in the next couple of years.  Most of the time I realize how impossible/unfair that would be to the other parties involved, especially kids, as I'll be an active duty officer for the next 5 years and I've requested overseas deployment.  I guess I just keep reminding myself that I'm still young, and I should take every opportunity that comes my way to do the things I want to do that would interfere with a relationship.  10 years down the road I don't want to be saying "I wish I had done [insert something here] before I had a family."

jess1100 that is true there are many things I want to do before i have a family.  I mean I want to get my DVM and go to Italy and things like that so ya i see your point.  I just wish I had someone who I knew I was gonna eventually end up with..............but I guess that takes away the excitement now doesn't it lol :P

Oh and have fun overseas....................should be exciting to see another place u know..........be carefull to though :)

I'm 110% sure that there's nothing else I want to do before having children. At this point, it's just a matter of waiting to find a partner, because ideally I'd want to stay home and raise the children. If I'm not married by 33, though, I'm considering being a single parent. It's not the best situation, but I COULD afford it now (with some lifestyle changes) and in three years, I should be making considerably more money and thus getting child care while I work wouldn't be difficult. I really don't want it to have to come to that, but if the alternative is never having children, then it's the better choice for me. I couldn't tolerate being childless forever, and I know I'd be a good mother. Better if I didn't have to work, yes, but still good if I must.

I'm making every possible effort to find somebody first. It's actually a little easier knowing there's an alternative, although the alternative isn't as good; it takes a little of the pressure off, so instead of all-out panic, it's just regular anxiety.

Dating is difficult! At 30 yrs old, some things about it are easier but some are harder.   I feel like it is my age, rather than weight, that holds me back because each year there are less and less guys available for me...

But I'm still here, life is still happening around me every day. I just try to show up and look good - everywhere.

Also, ladies, very important - please take it slow when you meet a good guy, if not with everything than at least with the physical part. In the beginning, no matter how many hours in a row you spent on the phone or in the park and no matter what deep dark secrets you have disclosed, your relationship is still shallow. Do not lay down your best card. Keep your best card in your hand for a long time, until its the only one there!

Late to the party as usual . . . but seriously, when I first saw this thread I skipped over it because I forgot I was single! After twelve years of marriage, my husband passed away in March, and even though it's been a few months, I'm still getting used to the idea. 

I'm 38, but was with the same guy since I was 21, so I feel completely new to the whole dating scene.  Not that I'm really ready, or trying to put myself out there yet, but I'm starting to realize that if a guy asks me out, I can't say, "sorry, I'm married," I actually have to stop and think about it.  As a result, I've been on two dates in the past month, and it was okay!

I'm far from being emotionally ready to enter a new relationship, but after some very difficult, isolated few years, I'm enjoying getting out, doing things, and making some new friends.  I've also realized that I really enjoy being on my own.  My husband was very ill for nearly 10 years, and as much as I miss him, I hadn't realized how much caring for him was taking out of me.  Now, I only have to worry about myself (and five pets), and I'm loving it!

So, I figure, now is the time to lose the lbs I gained during the whole stressful, depressing, isolated time, and get myself back into my size 8 clothes! Even with the extra weight (I'm currently a very curvaceous size 12 ;-), I have so much more confidence than I did when I was 20, not to mention age and wisdom. :-)  So being the only single person in a roomful of couples really doesn't bother me any more.  Still, when it comes to being single, I have a lot less experience at it than most of you 20-somethings. So, any advice is welcome.

brightestblue - I am glad you are getting out there, this experience is new for you and you should enjoy it! Good to hear.

Well, my name's Gen. I'm 19. I've been single for a few months now, after an almost 2 year relationship. I gained about 30 pounds throughout the relationship and it was disgusting.

I was reaching about 190-200 pounds at one point and now I'm around 173-175 or 176 pounds. I'm just trying to keep myself healthy for the time being and hopefully get down to 150 pounds by winter time.

I eat okay. I should knock off a lot of the carbs, but that's my weakness. I workout 5-6 times a week for about 40-50 minutes.

That's my story I guess. It wasn't very exciting lol.

Hey! My name is Marisol. I'm 18. I live in Los Angeles, CA. I'm a Sophomore at UCLA. I'm here to develop healthy eating habits and an overall lifestyle change. I find myself too busy to be in a serious relationship but that doesn't mean I don't have fun. I guess that I am single by choice. Not to sound cocky or anything :) 

I'm excited to see people are still joining this thread. Thanks again for starting it, shawnmax!
To me, confidence is like the holy grail of dating. Everyone kinda knows what it is, but is not 100% sure. Everyone kinda knows how to obtain it, but isn't really sure. Then there's the whole actually setting out to get it, but nobody knows where to start on the quest.
Who wants to go searching? ;)

so does that mean confidence is actually a woman?