How do I get sleep?

My baby is four months now, and for a couple nights she has gave me 6 or 7 hours of sleep. But for the last two weeks she has been waking up every 2 or 3 hours, no matter what time of day.

I am so tired. I want to be a good mom during the day but my eyes are burning I am so tired. How do you get your sleep? My husband does help, he makes bottles in the middle of the night but I have to stay up with her and feed her which always takes 30 to 45 minutes at a time.

She wont sleep in her crib, she mostly sleeps in my arms or in her carseat. If she is in her crib she sleeps for 40 minutes at the most.

And the advice (sleep when she sleeps) just isn't working either, her naps are between 20 and 40 min about 4 or 5 times a day. I can't even get to sleep before ten minutes are up.

Any advice for me? Please? What has worked for you, or do I just have to keep the hope alive that it gets better someday?

if your husband makes bottles, it means your kiddo is taking them...can't he give a few?  why not?  my husband did one feeding at midnight, and then i took the 4am one.  and that was when we were both working, so no excuses there.

have you tried swaddling?  it really helps them sleep longer...its the arm reflex that wakes them up, and swaddling inhibits that reflex...they don't smack themselves awake.

I don't work, but that doesn't make my sleep any less important (in my eyes!) Its just that my husband works 12 or 13 hour days sometimes and he really does need sleep. Not to mention that I did try letting him feed her --- it kept both of us up! She usually falls asleep in my arms after she is done eating, so he could not figure out how to get her back to sleep.

We did swaddle up until about 8 weeks. She doesnt like it now and I can not keep her in the tightest of swaddles. She can break out of them. She just turned 18 weeks, and is doing all sorts of new things. She has mastered like 3 things in the last 2 weeks (rolling back to front and front to back, reaching/grabbing objects, sucking on her feet). Oh and the squealing of laughter, the cutest thing. EVER.

Does anybody do schedules/routines and does it work?

i wish i could remember the name of the book my grandmother-in-law gave me... tho i started that right away... my baby (who is now 3 1/2) was up 2 hours then down 2 hours all day then (supposed to be) slept 4 hours at a stretch at night... most nights he was actually awake every 1-3 hours, til i switched him to formula at 6 months. The book recomended feeding the baby before bed, then an hour later (i think) while the baby was still sleeping trying to get them to power feed (while somehow staying asleep) where they fill theyre belly again.. this was supposed to get them to sleep all night... didnt work for me tho lol. I was lucky that til about 6 months he followed this pretty well (other than at night) so i could get a 2 hour nap in several times a day.

That being said... do you have a friend or family member that could come by once a day (or several that could) and let you get in a nap? I wish i had had someone to do that for me... i even had my mom and then my mother-in-law visiting during the first 4 months and still didnt get a nap in really (more often with my mom then MIL... she kinda scared me lol) If i had gotten more sleep maybe id remember more of my sons infant stage :(

Original Post by newveggie:

 

She wont sleep in her crib, she mostly sleeps in my arms or in her carseat.

 

ok..it will get better.

julia loves her car seat-  she feels secure there.  so I'll let her sleep in it- and she does for hours at a time.  can you get a co-sleeper to keep her near your bed but not in the crib?  julia takes naps with me in my bed (she's 8 months) i've been doing this since she was 5 months or so-  and we get such amazing naps in.  We don't do this every day since I work; but on weekends and days off we nap together.  it's a light nap for me; b/c she's near me- but she isn't near the edge of the bed or anything like that. 

there's the next thing that i did that was very hard.....i let her cry it out.  I had to.  so.....for a few nights straight after she was fed and changed; she would cry but then she fell asleep-  and as cruel as it seems it only lasted a few nights and then she started sleeping through-  at 6-8 weeks old.  now if she wakes up in the middle of the nigh; i will either let her cry for 5 minutes-  and if it is longer than that; i'll go in and give her the binky-  and that usually works.  is she on a pacifier?

also; if you lay her down in the crib and give her the bottle; maybe she'll fall asleep as she's drinking it-  if you're nursing maybe you can pump it into a bottle?  I'm not sure how you feel about that. 

Go outside!! Seriously my two year old, 10 week old and I went outside on Friday for four hours and my baby slept all night I mean from 9:30 to 7:00!! I'm not saying u have to stay out for fours hours but a nice half hour to and hour walk might help out weather permitting of course!!! Plus the excerise might give you some energy!! I have heard a lot that you can have a set night time routine like at 8 turn down the lights give a bath than a baby massage with lotion helps put them in a good mood I tried this with my first son and it didn't work for us, I was a mess till 6 months when he started sleeping through the night!! Good luck!!

Babies love schedules. My son is 6 months old and is so predictable! He takes two naps a day: 9:30am-11:30am and 1:30pm-3:30pm. He goes to bed between 8 and 8:30 and doesn't wake up in the middle of the night unless he's sick or teething. We also make sure we stick with the same bedtime routine each night.

I agree with Vanessa. Try the cry-it-out method but don't let it go on for ages. We would always rock our daughter to sleep and she still has trouble going to bed on her own at 4 years old. We made sure our son put himself to sleep in his crib from birth (a Pack-N-Play at first, then his regular crib at 4 weeks). When he was 4 months old, he had a cold and his nose was so stuffed up that he couldn't suck his thumb to get to sleep. We spent about a week having to rock him to sleep which turned into a habit. Once he was healthy, we would put him in his crib while he was drowsy but awake and pat/rub his back until he fell asleep (he was rolling over at this point and the doctor okayed him sleeping on his stomach). After a week of doing this (and fussing while falling asleep), he got back into the old habit of sleeping on his own. If he wakes in the middle of the night, I give him 5 minutes before going in to get him. Most times, he goes back to sleep on his own.

I've read that when babies master new skills, it kind of freaks them out and can disrupt their sleep. When our son learned to roll over, I used to force him to sleep on his back. He hated it and I finally gave in and let him sleep on his stomach. Since she's rolling over now, are you letting her sleep on her tummy? Babies sleep more soundly when on their stomachs.

At her age, she doesn't need to wake up in the middle of the night for a feeding. I've read that you should try any sleep training until a baby is 6 months old, though.

Check out the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution." It had a lot of great advice in it.

I know how tough it is. I'm still exhausted and my baby sleeps through the night. We just have to force ourselves to go on--our baby depends on us! But, is there someone that can watch your baby for a couple hours during the day so you can get a nap in?

Your babe is probably going through a growth spurt right now, and is needing more food then before. I agree with Vanessa and Bier, you have got to start letting the babe sleep by herself. Its hard for everyone the first couple of nights, but the benefits are SPECTACULAR!! You can get chores done, spend some time with the hubby, and just relax!!  I didn't do it until my son was almost 6 months, and then I'd run in a grab him when ever he made a peep. This went on until we moved into our new rental when he was almost 11 months. My hubby told me to just leave him alone so that he can learn to go back to sleep on his own. I think I cried more than Ethan did!! And he cried for nearly 40 minutes!! The first week was like that. He'd cry for 20-30 minuets a night before he'd fall asleep, but it went down to about 5 min by week two. He just realized that mommy or daddy isn't going run in there.

Now he'll toddle into his room after "Hugs & Kisses" and wait for me to put him into his crib. He demands his monkey and some more kisses, but then I close the door and that's it. If he cries or whines then I just let him be. My hubby and I still have the jump and run response when he really cries, but other then that I only check on him once or twice to put the blankets back on him and then I go to sleep.

Original Post by m0m6:

 My hubby and I still have the jump and run response when he really cries, but other then that I only check on him once or twice to put the blankets back on him and then I go to sleep.

 This is me 100%!  the jump and run when there are tears and serious crying like, "I just had my first nightmare and it was awful...." (this has happened twice and she slept through her crying fit)

I never pick her up out of the crib unless her crying warrants it.  I just figured that would wake her up even more. I guess every momma their own way. To soothe her crying when she's still sleeping I stroke her foreheard and turn the mobile on for the sleepy time music.  She knows she's loved.  OMG I wish I wasn't at work so I could give her a big hug!!!

Try wearing her out an hour before bedtime.  Play with her until she can't keep her eyes open.  Stimulation is the most powerful tool for kids to sleep a long time!!  Or try oatmeal flakes either mixed with water & spoonfed or mixed in her bottle before bedtime.

Good luck!!

Original Post by lookingfly4newyork:

Try wearing her out an hour before bedtime.  Play with her until she can't keep her eyes open.  Stimulation is the most powerful tool for kids to sleep a long time!!  Or try oatmeal flakes either mixed with water & spoonfed or mixed in her bottle before bedtime.

Good luck!!

Keeping her up for the last couple hours of the day is a great idea. Do whatever you can to keep her alert even if it means you have to jump around the house acting like a rabid monkey (my mother-in-law used to do this with my hubby ). Read one of YOUR books/magazines aloud to her or let her play with some "taboo" items (nothing that would hurt her, of course!).

However, it is not recommended to feed your baby cereal out of a bottle unless directed by your pediatrician. It can actually cause them to overfeed and gain excessive weight. Spoon feeding them cereal is cool, it just hasn't been proven to help them sleep at night.

I just have to say, I had two kids with two different methods of not sleeping, read so many books and websites and posts with advice, and to tell you the truth - sometimes things work, and sometimes they don't.  There is no fail-safe method for getting your kids to sleep and having them stay asleep.  The child who was so hard to get to sleep as an infant is 5 years old and still has trouble going to sleep if anyone else is awake.  The child who was easy to get to sleep but would wake up frequently is 2 and 1/2 and still wakes up 2-3 times a night, crying out, and often back to sleep when I get in there.  I would try so hard to find something that worked, and as soon as it seemed something would work, they would change.  And every child is different.

I tried routines - I'm naturally a routine person, but if it isn't their routine (and sometimes they don't have one) it won't work.  I tried letting them scream it out.  My first would scream every night for about 20 minutes, then drop to sleep and sleep through the night.  Nothing else worked.  I tried rocking her to sleep, but after 2 hours of rocking, she still wasnt' deep enough to put down, and I hurt from rocking her.  I tried laying down with her, but that just made her mad.  My kids didn't even like the baby rockers.

We did keep our kids in the car seat for a long time.  You'll hear people tell you not to do that, to start out as you mean to continue, but honestly, getting them to sleep better now seemed a lot more important than worrying about what we would do when they outgrew the carseat.  With our second, we discovered that if we covered the seat with a light blanket, and put it in the rocker, and rock her to sleep that way, she would only wake up once for her feeding (if there was anything I'd suggest, it would be that). 

There was a book, i don't remember the title, that had ideas that seemed to work for a while.  It was written by a nanny turned baby advisor, and was really into finding out their pattern, then helping them merge it with your own.  It really emphasized "Sleep, Play, Eat"  which worked with my first, but my second wanted to eat when she woke up, and again before she slept.  Oh, well.

Hang in there.  It does get easier.  Some babies sleep through the night at about six months.  In a year, she will probably sleep for about 10 hours at night, with any wake-ups being minimal.  Before you know it, you will have forgotten exactly the depths of sleeplessness you have plunged, and you'll think, "yeah, I could handle another.  It wasn't that bad."  Motherhood is funny that way.

Original Post by puh8suwrux:

There was a book, i don't remember the title, that had ideas that seemed to work for a while.  It was written by a nanny turned baby advisor, and was really into finding out their pattern, then helping them merge it with your own.  It really emphasized "Sleep, Play, Eat"  which worked with my first, but my second wanted to eat when she woke up, and again before she slept.  Oh, well.

 

I think the book you're thinking of is "The Baby Whisperer"... This book seriously saved my sanity. She identifies what different cries and body language mean and more often than not, she's right. I didn't take all her advice... For example, she advocates picking up your baby until he stops crying (not just fussing, serious crying) when you're trying to get him to sleep on his own... I only tried that for one night because what it seemed to teach my son was "Hey, if I cry, they pick me up!" But a lot of her advice is very sound and useful. I did the cry-it-out method because I was getting exactly nothing done since he would only sleep being cuddled.... He would still rather sleep with me (and does at night so I can breastfeed without getting up), but at 9 weeks he understands that when I put him down in his crib, turn on his womb sounds bear and tuck him in, it's time to sleep. There's still a little fussing, but he's generally out within a minute or two. You can't pick them up every time they peep, or you end up a basket case! A lot of the time they're not even awake when they're fussing, just talking in their sleep.