Slowly falling off the wagon...

Female, 19, cw 140 (last time I checked), gw 120, 5'7''

The last two weeks were great but I feel myself slowly falling off the wagon.  I haven't been too horrible today.  If I don't eat anything else I won't go over 1800, which isn't terrible but I still consider it pretty bad.  But it has been mostly carbs.

I'm currently a college student and right now I just got back from a Brit Lit test (I think I did awesome) but nonetheless I was stressing over that and the five papers I have assigned.  I never considered myself to be a stress eater but I fear I may be.

Also there is this boy I like...enough said.

One thing that always creeps up on me is the feeling of instantanious consequences.  When I screw up I feel like I've screwed up everything even though I know it's not possible.  If I eat an extra 500 calories today, I'm not going to gain 10 pounds...not even one.

Another thing that freaks me out is when I overeat once or I have a fat day (ladies you know) and I freak out like this is some recent occurance.  I pretty much have maintained my weight if not lost a few, yet I'm terrified that someone is going to look at me and think "Whoa, what happened".  However from my fat days to skinny days and vice versa I have to remind myself that no one else can tell the difference from day to day.  I'm just being overly sensitive.

One thing that helps it visualizing what I want, and thinking of the future.  When I told my roommate once of my problem with this, she told me that it's reversible, which is true.  Although gaining weight is way easier to do than loosing it (For the most part, I know there are cases with ED that are like this in reverse) nothing you do is irreversible.  If I gain a pound I am not stuck with it forever.  One little pound isn't even all that much.

Does anyone else have these irrational fears that only succeed in freaking you out and how do you think around them?  How do you keep yourself motivated?

Tomorrow is a new day and there is only one way to make things worse: by worrying about them.

I am battling stress-eating (sometimes stress-binging) myself. The best way to stick to healthy eating is to ask yourself: "How would I feel two hours from now if I 1.do not eat this/do not skip this workout; 2.eat this/don't work out.

I share your sentiments. I go through the same thing. I am trying to manage by talking to loved ones and recently I registered for counseling at my university. They say that behavior like ours is due to an underlying dissatisfaction or inability to manage stress. So, I am going to talk to a professional to find out what that's all about or, if anything, to at least avoid stress-eating or stressing out over a few extra calories.

What does help sometimes is thinking about the truly important things in life and looking forward to the positive things ahead. I made a "vision board" for my room. It's a corkboard with goals, photos, and positive thoughts tacked on it to remind me of those things that matter.

I completely understand and wish you the best in your endeavors.

I think that I was you 2 years ago...My best advice for you is to somehow find a way to get out of your own head. I struggled when I weighed 140 (which was still a healthy weight for me with my height). I bounced between 130 and 137 for a whole year- beating myself up for it all the while.

Weight is not the most important thing. It doesnt define you. Focus on other things in your life that you can take pride in and focus the majority of your effort on them. School, relationships, hobbies, ect are not affected by what you weigh...that is unless you are a wrestler or something like that? Try your best to put things in perspective!

Like Mystikheat, I have a collection of motivation except mine is kept in a notebook. We all need a reminder of what is really important and how great we are-its too bad that its so easy to forget sometimes.