hey! i have a question and need some advice! i am kinda shy person but not reallywhen i feel comfortable around people. at my office i am one of the younger crowd i suppose but all who work around me are in their late 30's, early 40's. the typical routien is to do the whole "Hi, bye" thing as you walk by, but lately i have felt like that's stupid when you see these people all the time! what's a good way to actually start a conversation without seeming "out of place" or not normal? get what im saying?
i'm tired of people not wanting to talk to me b/c im younger or whatever, when everyone else stops and talks to other people! i always have a smile on my face and say good morning. i dont get it!
i hate office chit chat. its so mundane. but it beats politics which is the only other thing they want to talk about. I avoid conversations until we're at a company function haha. Then, you have your family there you can talk about and introduce and blah blah blah.
Around the office though, i prefer business only.
this may not have answered your question but its still early and my comprehension isn't awake yet.
Original Post by laphipps:
hey! i have a question and need some advice! i am kinda shy person but not reallywhen i feel comfortable around people. at my office i am one of the younger crowd i suppose but all who work around me are in their late 30's, early 40's. the typical routien is to do the whole "Hi, bye" thing as you walk by, but lately i have felt like that's stupid when you see these people all the time! what's a good way to actually start a conversation without seeming "out of place" or not normal? get what im saying?
i'm tired of people not wanting to talk to me b/c im younger or whatever, when everyone else stops and talks to other people! i always have a smile on my face and say good morning. i dont get it!
I would say to consider yourself lucky. A lot of people would kill to be in your position (i.e., not having office workers constantly wanting to socialize with you)
hmm let me elaborate...i mean dont get me wrong, i LOVE that i can be in my cube that's bigger than anyone elses and hdie away when i want to, but i dunno. it's a smaller company and sometimes it's nice to stop and talk when i'm pretty much hidden away alllll day. there's hardly any natural light in here and i have a floor lamp and a desk lamp for light (really makes it hard to stay away when i come in from teh sunny outdoors...). I guess i just feel like a hermit for 90% of the day and need some interaction. oh and this job isnt something i want to continue with in the long run so i guess that has some impact!
Good springboards for watercooler small-talk....
(Monday morning) "So how was your weekend?"....
(Post important event) "Did you see the match/concert/election result/news last night?..." NB... you have to have seen it yourself or this one won't run far.
Observation pays. If you notice someone has pictures of children on their desk you can trigger a good fifteen minute conversation if you say something like 'What beautiful children. How old are they?'... On the other hand, if a colleague has decorated his desk with pictures of hunting rifles and ski-masks, best give that one a wide berth...
Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:
i hate office chit chat. its so mundane. but it beats politics which is the only other thing they want to talk about. I avoid conversations until we're at a company function haha. Then, you have your family there you can talk about and introduce and blah blah blah.
Around the office though, i prefer business only.
this may not have answered your question but its still early and my comprehension isn't awake yet.
I totally agree. Which is probably why everyone thinks I am anti-social. We are supposed to be WORKING, not socializing!!!
Though I agree with what the others have said about it being a good thing to not have to worry about "busybody" co-workers 
, I think it's admirable that you at least want to make an effort to be social.
The best way to strike up a friendly chat without seeming too pushy or nosey is to find some sort of common ground. For example, you tend to hear guys making small talk about a football game or something, because as a majority, most guys watch sports and therefore, it's something they can talk pretty easily about.
So maybe take a look at your co-workers' spaces and see if they have any photos of pets, or kids, or if they have a plant on their desk....etc. Basically anything you feel like you can talk about but that doesn't get too personal. If that doesn't work, when talking to other women, it's easy to find something like a pretty piece of jewelry she's wearing, or a nice sweater or something.
So, for example: "Hey, I love those earrings, they're really pretty!" Or, "That's a pretty sweater, I love the color," or "Oh, is that a photo of your dog? He's adorable!" or "I like that plant you have growing. What's it called?" Etc. :)
I know how you feel, though. My job is such that I don't get many opportunities for interaction with co-workers, and I don't want them to think I'm some sort of hermit! But it can be hard to find that balance. Good luck!
Edited to add: I'd be willing to bet that once you open up a little, it'll get much easier to talk to them. If you're kinda the "young kid" in the office, they all might just assume that you're not interested in talking to them. Once they realize that you are, they'll probably be more inclined to talk to you, too. :)
As one of the little signs in my cubicle states:
"You are to be courteous, but there is no requirement to be overly friendly."
My direct co-worker gets miffed because I choose not to hang with the department at the casino, happy hour, x-mas parties, or even desire to go to lunch with any of them to celebrate birthdays, or join in on the myriad of pot lucks they have, or eat their fatty foods. I don't go to her or any other cubicle and spend hours socializing with her or with anyone else in the office. Yes, I am courteous and I smile and have a jovial attitude, and am friendly and pleasant, but I'm not interested in their personal lives, their tv shows, what sport teams they like and I'm not going to fake it. I am also not responsible for their attitude towards me.
I come to work to do my job. If someone likes me, great, if they don't fine. Their attitude towards me does not affect my job performance. I don't come to work to make friends. I have those, and they are usually not people I work with.
I'm shy as well and had the same problem when I started this job about a year ago. What worked for me was to bring in breakfast one day. Something healthy, of course 
. Keep the food at your desk - not in a break area - so that they have to come to you.
The Thank Yous will break the ice, while letting people know that you're approachable at the same time.
As others have said... be careful what you wish for... you may open yourself up to chatterboxes and people just interested in office gossip.
I wish that I never formed relationships at work. It has only caused me trouble. Infact after 3 years of working with the backstabbing bi#*$es I have tried to withdraw from any "water cooler" convo. I think it is better to keep it as minimal as possible. I agree you are lucky. Don't stress it.
Anyone elese feel like highschool never ended?
Original Post by betsybz:
I wish that I never formed relationships at work. It has only caused me trouble. Infact after 3 years of working with the backstabbing bi#*$es I have tried to withdraw from any "water cooler" convo. I think it is better to keep it as minimal as possible. I agree you are lucky. Don't stress it.
Anyone elese feel like highschool never ended?
*raises hand*
Original Post by jewelrybugg:
As one of the little signs in my cubicle states:
"You are to be courteous, but there is no requirement to be overly friendly."
My direct co-worker gets miffed because I choose not to hang with the department at the casino, happy hour, x-mas parties, or even desire to go to lunch with any of them to celebrate birthdays, or join in on the myriad of pot lucks they have, or eat their fatty foods. I don't go to her or any other cubicle and spend hours socializing with her or with anyone else in the office. Yes, I am courteous and I smile and have a jovial attitude, and am friendly and pleasant, but I'm not interested in their personal lives, their tv shows, what sport teams they like and I'm not going to fake it. I am also not responsible for their attitude towards me.
I come to work to do my job. If someone likes me, great, if they don't fine. Their attitude towards me does not affect my job performance. I don't come to work to make friends. I have those, and they are usually not people I work with.
One of the best posts in the thread. You sound like me. I don't get the constant need to "hang out" outside of work. I see these people more than I see my own wife so NO I don't want to see even MORE of you when I don't have to for crying out loud
I wonder if I am rarity? I actually enjoy talking to my co-workers and I actually get work done. And *gasp* some of us even hang out on the weekends/holidays/at each others houses etc. They give me rides to airport, help me move stuff..let me use their costco card..lol. I am also the baby of the bunch, not married and with no kids. And the only girl on my team. Maybe its just me..I'd be bored out my mind if Ididn't work in a atmosphere like I am in currently.
To the OP you can always start a convo an dsee where that takes you.
THE WORKPLACE SUCKS!! Why in the hell would i ever give a flying crap to talk to people at work? Most of the time I can't stand even being around their lying, back-stabbing, two-faced, corporate, 'higher than thoug', egotistical azzes anyway.
work is work.......and SUCKS.
No offense to you or your question : )
Original Post by healthystriver:
THE WORKPLACE SUCKS!! Why in the hell would i ever give a flying crap to talk to people at work? Most of the time I can't stand even being around their lying, back-stabbing, two-faced, corporate, 'higher than thoug', egotistical azzes anyway.
work is work.......and SUCKS.
No offense to you or your question : )
I thought I was being a little harsh.
Amen!
Original Post by fayeonherway:
I wonder if I am rarity? I actually enjoy talking to my co-workers and I actually get work done. And *gasp* some of us even hang out on the weekends/holidays/at each others houses etc. They give me rides to airport, help me move stuff..let me use their costco card..lol. I am also the baby of the bunch, not married and with no kids. And the only girl on my team. Maybe its just me..I'd be bored out my mind if Ididn't work in a atmosphere like I am in currently.
To the OP you can always start a convo an dsee where that takes you.
Maybe you are a rarity.I used to love my co-workers.I put way too much energy into friendships then there was a lot of back stabbing. People will always climb all over you to get to the top if you let them. I think it is sad but I have learned this lesson over and over again. I gave up.Next time I will not get involved.
Original Post by healthystriver:
Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:
Original Post by betsybz:
I wish that I never formed relationships at work. It has only caused me trouble. Infact after 3 years of working with the backstabbing bi#*$es I have tried to withdraw from any "water cooler" convo. I think it is better to keep it as minimal as possible. I agree you are lucky. Don't stress it.
Anyone elese feel like highschool never ended?
*raises hand*
Well, I would answer your question, but I am sitting in time-out.
I think its called detention hall these days.
Work = Work
imo.
I'm against it for multiple reasons,Lol. Too many to list here!
Original Post by betsybz:
Original Post by fayeonherway:
I wonder if I am rarity? I actually enjoy talking to my co-workers and I actually get work done. And *gasp* some of us even hang out on the weekends/holidays/at each others houses etc. They give me rides to airport, help me move stuff..let me use their costco card..lol. I am also the baby of the bunch, not married and with no kids. And the only girl on my team. Maybe its just me..I'd be bored out my mind if Ididn't work in a atmosphere like I am in currently.
To the OP you can always start a convo an dsee where that takes you.
Maybe you are a rarity.I used to love my co-workers.I put way too much energy into friendships then there was a lot of back stabbing. People will always climb all over you to get to the top if you let them. I think it is sad but I have learned this lesson over and over again. I gave up.Next time I will not get involved.
I guess cause I work with a guys it makes a somewhat of a difference.
hate to be hatin on my fellow (ha) women, but they are total bitches to work with, sooo catty and back stabby and 2 faced and gossipy.
(although I will say, DH is a contractor and he is gossip central. a lot of his time is spent on phone calls of ppl either telling or getting it)
Its tricky at my new job, theres women to deal with but I have learned to stay neutral and only listen.
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